The Moon Represents My Heart
by MoonExpressions
Summary: AU “Sorry doesn’t cut it!” Ryoma said holding back the tears, “Did you ever truly love me?” Letting out a breath, Ryoma let the tears fall… was that what he meant…the moon was fickle…sometimes you can clearly see it…other times it clearly disappears…
1. Frozen

A/N: You must all be wondering what this story is all about 2 weeks before a mass release right? Well let me tell you I couldn't resist!

The title of the story was named after a lovely song by the same name sung by Teresa Teng so I didn't suddenly think of this title!

Read and Review as usual to support me and make my sweet 16 even sweeter!

**BY THE WAY! If you have time please take the poll on my profile page to vote for my next story! Poll ends on December 24th!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own PoT characters or the song that the title of my story is under!

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**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm.

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**Prologue:****Frozen**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

"Ja Echizen-sensei!"

"Be careful!" Ryoma merely replied to his students that ran laughing into the falling snow. Tilting his head upward, Ryoma felt the snow touch his face gently like a caress…yet when it landed, it melted and left coldness…a chilling coldness that begin to ebb and numb him.

'_You'll remember me…'_

Ryoma jerked his head down and walked inside the school building to grab his things. Of all the seasons, Ryoma hated winter the most. This, was strange to everyone since his birthday fell on Christmas Eve and a month or season when your birthday was located in was to be a happy one…

It wasn't that Ryoma had always hated winter…it was the memory that he hated, the scene he hated, and most of all, the response he got that winter night…

" Echizen!"

Ryoma glanced up to see an enthusiastic Momoshiro and An running towards him. He had to admit they made a good couple…it'd been 6 years ago when Ryoma attended their wedding. Now, 6 years later…they were happily still married and had 2 children, Ayano, whom was 5 and Takaya who was 3.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked as usual pulling his scarf and gloves.

"This year… will you spend Christmas with us again?" An asked.

"Aa…" Ryoma merely answered grabbing his stuff.

"Really?" An exclaimed looking at her husband in happiness, " Thank goodness! I thought you might be moving before then!"

"Yeah…well I have to find a job before I settle in LA." Ryoma mused before going out the door.

"Are you sure you want to go after so many years with us?" Momoshiro asked following Ryoma.

"Aa…it's about time I move on right?" Ryoma said bluntly to Momoshiro. " Besides, my parents have been bugging me to go back to live with them."

"Oh…" Momoshiro said with a small nod. Taking An's hand he looked up and grabbed Ryoma's shoulder with his other hand.

"What?" Ryoma mumbled out.

"Even if you go…. you'll visit us won't you?" Momoshiro asked.

"Baka! Where else would I go on vacations!" Ryoma said bluntly.

"True…" Momoshiro said with a small smile. " Ne, An and I have to go to the store so we'll see you later!"

"Aa," Ryoma merely said and watched as they happily ran the opposite direction of where he was going… Turning away from the scene he continued on his way home.

It had been about 10 years since his parents decided to go back to the States and leave him here…. It had been a while since he seen his parents…

Crossing the street, he ignored the fluffy, blinding snow that fell onto the mass of dark-green hair on his head. Despite how beautiful this season was, he would never forget or forgive…

"Che!" Ryoma muttered as he quickened his pace…come to think of it, wasn't it around this time 16 years ago that the man he loved and the women who claimed to love him left together?

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A/N: Of course this is the end of the prologue! If you want more please review and I promise this will be among the stories updated on the 24th. 


	2. Miyuki

A/N: I'm glad everyone is interested in the story already! For this chapter we are going to reintroduce Fuji back into the story so get ready!

Read+ Review!!! Wish me a happy B-day while you're at it! My B-day is on the 27th of December!!!

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Heart Br0ken- Thank you for reading it, I hope you continue to enjoy this story since it's only the beginning.

irishKaoru- I hope you would look forward to the next chapter!

rebeccasanfujieijilvr- Well then, it looks like I'll have a fic to read as well:) That's good that you're going update on the same day!

liar-just-a-liar- I hope you're looking forward to it.

DemonGirl13- Yep… sadly, the whole story will be explained this chapter!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- I know I'm doing too many of these so watch out for my other story which will be more light-hearted!

Selyn- Nope, I'm not.. but I do listen to a lot of Chinese, Korean, and Japanese songs. Yes, enjoy his birthday because you'll be spoiled. The only thing I'll ask for is a review!

abhorsen3- It's revealed in this chapter! I also like Momo and An better together! I absolutely dislike MomoXRyo that's why! XD

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**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. [AU

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**Chapter I: ****Miyuki**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

The first time they met, Ryoma didn't like him at all. Ryoma was introduced to Fuji Syuusuke through Momoshiro, a courtesy to be acquaintances, nothing more…. or so Ryoma thought.

Of course it didn't stay that way. Now that they "knew" each other, Fuji went out of his way to see Ryoma on campus at Tokyo University and off campus when he hung out with Momoshiro. Gradually their accidental meetings between them became non-accidental…it began subtly shifting as their "casual" tennis dates turned into late-night studying…to being a couple.

xXx

_**18 years ago**_

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Autumn**_

"Come on Echizen, it's a shame to waste such a talent!" Momoshiro said with a grin. "Just play one set with me!"

"Yadda!" Ryoma said leaning back against back of his chair, "I'd have to go easy again!"

"Well you know; some people aren't born with your talent!" Momoshiro grumbled out with a pout. " MOU ECHIZEN!"

"You're too loud baka…" Ryoma muttered under his breath.

"I could always play a set with you Momoshiro…"

"Fuji-senpai!"

_'That was the first time we set eyes on each other…'_

Ryoma glanced up to see a smiling guy make him way towards their table. He was tall and slender with his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The aura that came with him made Ryoma uncomfortable immediately, making him decide not to like this person. He was too weird, too happy looking, to…why doesn't his eyes open?

"Echizen… this is my senpai in middle and high school!" Momoshiro said standing next to the smiling man, "Fuji Syuusuke…a Tensai on our tennis team back then."

"Tensai?" Ryoma merely asked.

Momoshiro nodded with a dorky grin. "Aa!"

"Fuji-senpai! This is Echizen Ryoma, my friend who grew up in the States and is here for college."

"Pleased to meet you," The man said with a smile. If Ryoma didn't know any better, he would've swore this man was a woman.

"Aa…" Ryoma merely nodded in greeting back. "Echizen Ryoma…" Ryoma reluctantly added grasping Fuji's hand slightly. He was not comfortable at all with this man who looked like a woman.

"Ne Fuji-senpai…you don't play tennis anymore do you?" Momoshiro asked turning his attention back to the smiling guy.

"No I don't… I'm concentrated on Photography and business now." Fuji said with a mysterious smile.

"But I'm sure you can still play!" Momoshiro said.

"Of course I can," Fuji said.

"Great! Will you play with Echizen and me?"

"Of course,"

"I'll pass," Ryoma decided as he stood grabbing his book bag. " I have lecture in 30 minutes."

Momoshiro frowned outwardly but Ryoma was more cautious of the smiling eyes that opened slowly to look into his.

"Saa…then it was nice to meet you Echizen-kun…"

"..Aa…" Ryoma answered turning away. He had subtly caught his cerulean blue eyes…. but it wasn't the color that stunned him…it was the interest embedded in those eyes that froze him.

"I'm sure he doesn't swing that way!" Ryoma muttered to himself. Although he kept assuring himself he felt the gaze directed at his back….it burned…

xXx

_'That was only the beginning of many more times when he and I would run across each other…it got to the point where I got irritated and confronted him …'_

"Is there are a reason you're following me around senpai?" Ryoma asked with irritation clearly in his voice.

"Was I following you?" Fuji replied with his usual smile.

"We both know you were," Ryoma said with a scowl. He wasn't in the mood for games and Fuji following like a little puppy was freaking him out!

"Was that your girlfriend?" Fuji asked changing the subject as he looked back to the café both had exited out from.

"Is it your business?" Ryoma asked walking faster to put distance between them.

"It could be…" Fuji said teasingly.

"Well it's not!" Ryoma said bluntly turning towards the dorm they both unfortunately stayed in.

"Ryuzaki Sakuno is cute…" Fuji insisted

Ryoma didn't say anything as he continued on his way.

"I know her grandma-"

"I know her too!" Ryoma finally said irritably, "So will you please leave me alone? I don't recall ever doing anything to you to deserve this!"

Fuji merely chuckled at that before caressing Ryoma's cheek lightly. "Echizen…you are very dense if you haven't notice I like you,"

Ryoma's eyes widened as he backed away from the older male. "You do swing that way?"

"Swing?" Fuji questioned with a small smile. "I like to think I'm permanently attracted to my own sex, I don't swing between both."

Backing away, Ryoma eyed him carefully, "Well I'm not like that,"

"How do you know?" Fuji asked advancing towards Ryoma.

"Because 'I' have never liked or loved any other male!" Ryoma said

"There's always a first…" Fuji whispered.

"I don't want a first!" Ryoma stated bluntly. "I prefer girls."

"I think you're lying… I've watched you around girls and they are practically invisible to you!"

"Stalker!" Ryoma managed to say over his surprise.

"How can you say you like girls if you don't even see them?" Fuji accused lightly.

"How can you say you like guys then?" Ryoma challenged back.

"Easy," Fuji said pinning Ryoma against the wall as he brought his lips dangerously close to Ryoma's. "I've done it before."

"Don't joke with me!" Ryoma said pushing Fuji off.

"I'm not…I like you," Fuji said simply, "I want to go out with you!"

xXx

'_It was never the same after that confrontation… even now, I still don't know what craziness he drugged me with to agree to date him…but gradually I fell in love with him…and that's where the real trouble started. I was a English major…I wanted to teach here in Japan so I had enrolled in Tokyo University to fulfill that goal…he…he was a photographer whose minored in business. I was blunt and straight-forward, he liked to beat around the bush and the best thing I can still come up with out of our attraction is that opposite REALLY do attract!_

"Smile Ryoma!" Fuji said snapping a picture before Ryoma could even react.

"Syuusuke!" Ryoma said angrily throwing a pillow at Fuji. It was the same thing each time they awoke together in the morning. Fuji had told him he "Lived" for those cute, memorable pouts Ryoma seemed to do after the first picture and Ryoma was never quite prepared for each day or night with Fuji.

They contrasted like day and night yet when they were together; it always seemed like daybreak and sundown. The moments were so quick, the memories all lost within the camera.

XXx

_**16 years ago (it's been 2 years since they me and got together)**_

_We went out for exactly 2 years…we had gradually became attached and decided we were going to be with each other…that was until my parents decided to move to Japan…_

"Ryoma…where did I go wrong! I ALWAYS talk, think, and see girls and NOW you're telling me THIS is your BOY-boyfriend?!" Nanjiroh asked

"Oyaji…" Ryoma started stubbornly. He wasn't liking the expression on Fuji's face.

"You're our only son!" Nanjiroh said burying his head in his hands in frustration. "WHY?"

Ryoma felt extremely bad as Fuji looked guilty of influencing him and he had reached over to squeeze Fuji's hand. With a quick smile he was sure they could make it together! It was the hidden pain in the back of his eyes that should've raised alerts to Ryoma…but Ryoma had instead reassured himself that Fuji was just a bit surprised at his father's strong opposition.

xXx

_After that point, we started seeing less of each other although we attended the same school…we saw less of each other as Fuji decided to drop his minor and just go ahead and graduate…My parents didn't make it any better when they decided it'd be best to settle in Japan to "care" for their son._

It seemed that Fuji got busier as he started to spend more days away from our apartment and didn't pick up his cell as much anymore.

"I'm sorry, can you call later?"

That reply became a daily reply…but Ryoma being his hardheaded self thought of anything but the fact that Fuji might've wanted to separate from him. Even when he never picked up later, Ryoma was content to hear his pre recorded voice when it accessed his voice mail. Gradually Ryoma stopped leaving irritated or complaining messages… Ryoma started to say, "I miss you…"

_So why didn't I notice that we were drifting apart? Why didn't I notice that Sakuno was also having some last sincerity with me?_

"Ryoma-kun…I really like you!"

"Oh…"

"Ryoma-kun…will you-"

"Go out with you?" Ryoma finished, "Sorry Sakuno…but I can't see you like that!"

"The rumors of Fuji-senpai and you-"

"Are real… we're going out." Ryoma finished standing to leave. He wasn't too irritated with her, just irritated that Syuusuke's absence was making him frustrated to the point where he felt like a pouting girl! As he started to walk he felt her pull gently on his arm, "What?"

"I'll still love you…I will!" Sakuno said softly even though her gaze wouldn't meet his. "I'll love you forever no matter what!"

"Sorry Sakuno…"Ryoma merely said before walking away. All he could think about at this moment was if Syuusuke and he were still going to meet up tonight.

xXx

_Never at that time did I think that Syuusuke and I would never see each other again…that the word, the fight was all just frustration…that he didn't leave with Sakuno and marry her…_

"Do you think I'm too much trouble?" Ryoma asked planting himself in front of Fuji when he finally caught Fuji thanks to Kikumaru's help in locating him. Fuji had decided to call off their meeting through a text as usual and Ryoma, fed up with that, sought out Fuji's best friend for answers…which led him here.

"Not at all…" Fuji merely replied

"Then why are you ignoring me? Why are you making me feel like I'm a burden?" Ryoma asked clearly irritated at being ignored and forgotten for the past few weeks.

Although only seconds passed, it seemed like hours to Ryoma as Fuji finally sighed after a long time and spoke.

"Let's break up Ryoma," Fuji said softly.

Ryoma stood there stunned at the sudden turnabout, but as quick as he fell in that stupor he was able to grab Fuji hard on his shoulder to give him a hard stare.

"What?" Ryoma asked as calm as he could. At the moment, he was torn between going crazy and telling himself he misheard Fuji.

"You heard me…" Fuji merely said staring at his feet now.

"Why?" Ryoma demanded next.

"Because we aren't compatible!" Fuji said.

"What the hell are you saying?" Ryoma asked bluntly. "I'm not going to believe anything that comes out of your mouth at the moment Syuusuke… you're talking nonsense!"

"I'm leaving…" Fuji merely said and turned to leave.

"Hold on!" Ryoma said but Fuji continued to walk away.

"If you walk now we're through!" Ryoma said threateningly. "I mean it!"

But even that didn't stop Fuji from leaving then…the week after he announced that, Fuji disappeared like the winter storm that hit, and as if on cue, right after the storm he reappeared…a new _chained_man.

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**December 21st**_

Everyone had been surprised when they heard Fuji had reappeared, but the greatest shock would be to Ryoma…

Momoshiro had been the one to tell him his boyfriend, who had disappeared for almost three weeks, had finally turned up, married to Sakuno…a girl Ryoma had turned down.

"Since they're already married, the Fuji's are throwing them a reception… you don't have to go-"Momoshiro said feeling a bit sorry for his friend.

"I want to…" Ryoma said strongly. He needed to go…to see if it was true…to see if Fuji truly turned away from him…

xXx

It was all true…

Nothing was out of place as both husband and wife greeted them…how Fuji had welcomed him in distantly…as if they were acquaintances yet again… Ryoma fought that whole night not to break down, not to fall without knowing… and when he finally got his chance to know, he wished he never did…

"Why?" Ryoma asked softly as both Fuji and he stood outside in the cold. Snow was rushing downward softly blanketing them yet both didn't move.

"I'm sorry…. I can't wait…" Fuji merely said staring off into the distance with a sall.

"Did you even love me? Or is that all a lie as well?" Ryoma demanded. "If you wanted to play why couldn't you have played with someone else? Why did it have to be me? Why did you insist in the beginning?!"

Fuji smiled softly as Ryoma, "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" Ryoma said holding back the tears, "Did you ever truly love me?"

"I did," Fuji said without hesitating.  
"How much?" Ryoma demanded looking straight at Fuji.

A silence followed as both stood their ground.

"HOW MUCH?" Ryoma growled out.

"As much as the moon…for the moon represents my heart…" Fuji said softly.

"Fuji?"

Both glanced up to see Ryuzaki Sumire standing by the door. "They'd like you to make a speech…"

"Aa…" Fuji said following her in.

"Syuusuke!' Ryoma shouted.

For a while it seemed Fuji would stay since he stopped, but he continued to walk inside leaving Ryoma there in the coldness.

'What the hell…. the moon represents my heart? What kind of answer is that?' Ryoma asked himself as he looked up at the darkened sky. There was no moon tonight… no moon.

Letting out a breath, Ryoma let the tears fall… was that what he meant…the moon was fickle…sometimes you can clearly see it…other time it clearly disappears…

"I see… so our love was only as fickle as the moon to you…" Ryoma said bitterly to the night sky… although it hurt…it was no use. What's done was done…

xXx

(Back to the present!)

"Che!" Ryoma said falling onto his bed. Why was he thinking to the past! That had been 16 years ago! He shouldn't even care for it anymore!

"Baka Ryoma!" Ryoma chided himself, "You have your masters in English, you're a damn good tennis player and you're going home! What else do you need?"

Burying his head under his pillow, he didn't want to know the answer to that!

xXx

"Echizen-sensei!"

Ryoma turned around to see Nakuto Youhei , the principal approaching him with a timid student.

"Good morning," Ryoma said with a formal bow.

"Yes…I'll introduce her to you… she's going to be in your homeroom and English class." Nakuto-san said ushering the girl forward.

Ryoma gave her a quick run-down as he looked at her timid smile to her amber eyes…she struck him as someone he knew….

"This is Fuji Miyuki, Miyuki and her father just came back from England!"

"Fuji?" Ryoma said a bit choked by that…

As if on cue, the Principal's office door opened to reveal Fuji in a suit…. as suddenly as he had disappeared 16 years ago, he was once more standing in front of Ryoma.

"Ryoma…"

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A/N: As sad or tempting as it may be, this is the end of the chapter! Please review and the next update may contain a chapter from this story!

**Sneak Peek at Chapter II: ****Melting Ice**

"So you two know each other?' Nakuto asked.

"He was merely a senpai when we went to Tokyo University Nakuto-san."

xXx

"Ryoma…we have to talk…"

"You're 16 years too late Fuji-san," Ryoma said emphasizing the –san to show unfamiliarity between the two of them.


	3. Melting Ice

A/N: Shocking release huh? After I said it'd have to be till January 12th! XD

Actually like some may know Today is my 16th birthday so I decided to shower you all with chapters from my stories and in return I hope you'll all review!

If not to comment on the story at least drop me a Happy sweet 16th B-day! ;)

REVIEW!!!

**Side Note: Thank you to all the people who has already wished me a happy Birthday!**

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Heart Br0ken- Well after a few more chapters you can tell me who you fell more sorry for okay? XD

Sweet Obsidian Rain- His reasons will be revealed slowly throughout the story so look forward to that! As for Sakuno… yep…she's out if the picture… only for another to stand in the way XD

irishKaoru- I hurriedly updated for you! XD

rebeccasanfujieijilvr- Well I updated today! Hope you'll enjoy the outcome of the chapter!

Alaine- I believe he will be in the next few chapters!

fan girl 666- Well I hope this chapter encourages you to love it!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Well you won't be seeing Sakuno anymore:P

Selyn- I do try to change my stories around to get a variety in XD This chapter shows how much Ryoma moved on and haven't actually so you get to see Ryoma being indecisive a bit here! As for Fuji behavior…when has he ever seen far about anything:)

abhorsen3- It's

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**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. [AU

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**Chapter II: ****Melting Ice**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**December 15**_

"Ryoma…"

Ryoma didn't know what to say to this man. He was having such mixed feelings at the moment. He wanted to kill, hate, miss, forget this man yet at the moment, all those emotions merely made him stare at Fuji like an idiot.

"So you two know each other?" Nakuto asked.

Afriad that Fuji would break out in the truth, Ryoma forced himself out of the stupor and looked at the principal.

"He was merely a senpai when we went to Tokyo University Nakuto-san."

"I see," Nakuto said with nod of approval, "Then it'd be a pleasure to teach his daughter right?"

"Of course…" Ryoma confirmed with the principal.

"You're a great teacher Echizen-sensei…likable by all the students even if some mention you are a bit blunt at times, it seems we'll all miss you when you leave us."

"Likewise Nakuto-san…I shall miss my position here as well." Ryoma said with a slight bow.

"That's enough then, class is starting and it wouldn't do for the sensei to be late, Miyuki-chan…I hope you'll follow your teacher?"

"Thank you," Miyuki sad softly to both Ryoma and the principal.

Ryoma merely nodded and started to lead the way. He was in no condition to see Fuji after such a long time.

xXx

It wasn't too bad…

Ryoma had expected Miyuki to be annoying like her mother since they looked so similar but she was anything but timid…it seemed she was like her father, a devil in the disguise of a timid girl.

The girls that usually gave new students a hard time were the first to see how sadistic Fuji Miyuki could be…and Ryoma would never forget how her lips curved upwards slightly like her father's did when he had accomplished a trap.

'16 Years,' Ryoma thought with a sigh. It had been such a long time and here he was, still thinking about everything like it was yesterday. Ryoma let out a breath as he reached into his pocket for a cigarette…only to find nothing.

"You quit 3 years ago Ryoma," A voice teased him lightly.

"I think I realized that Serene," Ryoma said annoyed with his thoughts and frustrated that he had quit smoking some time ago.

He felt her arms wrap around him and he glanced down at his fiancée. She glanced up to meet his gaze and her amber eyes held amusement within them as he brushed his hand through her black hair.

"What?"

"Do you regret quitting for me?" Serene asked brushing her lips against his jaw line.

"No…it was bad for me anyways," Ryoma said with a slight sigh. Sometimes being engaged to the school's nurse wasn't as great as people thought it'd be…especially when she limited his intake of Ponta.

"Will we play a bit of tennis later after school?" Serene asked fixing Ryoma's shirt unconsciously.

"No, I have to make arrangements for your transfer and mine." Ryoma said brushing his lips against her forehead lightly. Of all the girls he met, Serene was the only one he didn't find annoying…she was witty and intelligent, beautiful and understanding, everything he deserved and more…yet he dated her for 6 years and when he finally popped the question, they were engaged for 5 years now and not married yet…

'Why are you stalling?' Ryoma questioned himself as he looked at the woman leaning against him lightly.

"I have to go…" She finally whispered looking at her watch, "My break is over,"

"I'll see you a lunch then," Ryoma said pressing a soft kiss to her lips before letting her out of his embrace.

Serene nodded with a grin, "I don't know why you're being so mature today but I like it!"

Ryoma eyebrow quirked slightly, "I don't know what you mean…I'm always mature."

Serene laughed musically, "Usually you're so cocky darling…today you're a bit more gentle right?"

Ryoma frowned at how well she knew him; "Go," He commanded. After all, a couple like them who lasted 11 years should know each other thoroughly. He watched as she walked towards the door and disappeared. Leaning against the wall behind him, Ryoma closed his eyes momentarily.

For the first four years after Fuji had married and went overseas, he had been crazy. He took each day like it was a punishment, he pushed himself into exhaustion…always giving his full potential, always striving to exhaustion so he wouldn't have time to think if Fuji…then he met Hiyozako Serene. She had stood by him no matter how much he pushed her away…she had accepted his good and bad, cockiness and silence, sadness and anger with no complaint…so when they started to date, Ryoma was happy that she never demanded anything to much from him except for two things…that was to quit smoking, a habit he picked up after Fuji married and limit his intake of Ponta.

Staring back out to the city, Ryoma wondered why he couldn't fully turn away from that fling…Serene and he had been together for 11 years…Fuji and he had barely lasted 2…so why couldn't he forget?

xXx

"The new student you have has gotten quite popular," Serene said as she set out their lunch.

"She is…" Ryoma uttered as he started to eat. He really didn't want to think about Fuji Miyuki right now. She was a good girl and that's as much as he wanted to know about her…after school today he'd have to go through her transfer with her and spend a bit of time in her company… already he hated the fact that he almost escaped only to be trapped once more…

"Are you okay?" Serene asked studying his expression, "You look a bit down…"

"I'm fine," Ryoma said, "You should hurry and eat as well or else lunch break will end."

Serene merely nodded and started to eat…whatever was on his mind he'd eventually tell her so she wasn't going to pry.

xXx

"So Echizen-sensei…is it true you knew my father and mother back in their university days?" Miyuki asked as Ryoma gathered her papers.

"Aa…" Ryoma said as he looked for the right sheet.

"Then will you help me look for my father's lover?" Miyuki asked making Ryoma drop the paper he had been holding.

"What?" Ryoma questioned.

Miyuki stared out the window with a sigh, "Ever since I was around 8 or 9, I've known my mother and father didn't love each other that way…each of them held a love in their own hearts and were only polite to one another for my sake."

"Why would you say that?" Ryoma asked

"Because I remember one night when I woke up from a nightmare and I heard my mother saying to my father that she'd only love him only, that it was for her family and sanity that she married him…my father had merely replied that he felt the same as well…"

"So?" Ryoma asked wanting to get off this topic.

"My mother recent death made me go through her things and I've concluded the one she loved was you Echizen-sensei whereas I just wanted to meet my father's lover." Miyuki said looking at Ryoma with determined amber eyes…eyes that reminded him of Serene's.

"I think that's up to your father to decide," Ryoma finally said and handed her the papers. "Just go over these with your father and you should  
be all set."

"Okay…" Miyuki said with a sift sigh. She stood with the papers and opened the door to step out of the teacher's offices. " Thank you,"

Ryoma merely nodded as he grabbed his own things. He had a few things to do before going to bed tonight. Ryoma sighed as he stood to go to the door only to stop.

Every sense worked against him as he saw Fuji telling his daughter to run ahead and turn to face Ryoma as well.

"Ryoma…" Fuji began.

"It's nice to see you as well Fuji-san." Ryoma said politely. He closed the door as he said his goodbyes to a few co-workers in there and turned to leave ignoring Fuji further than the greeting.

"Wait Ryoma…we have to talk…."

"You're 16 years too later Fuji-san," Ryoma said emphasizing the –san to show unfamiliarity between the two of them. Ryoma turned abruptly to leave.

"Ryoma wait…" Fuji said going after him.

"There is no waiting!" Ryoma said bluntly, "We've both moved on so leave it!"

"Please Ryoma…I feel that you deserve to know…"

"Know what? That your love was fickle towards me? That it was fun playing with me?" Ryoma asked speeding up.

"NO!" Fuji said, "That's not it at all!"

"Goodbye Fuji-san." Ryoma merely said turning the corner to get out of the school.

"Ryoma…"

"Ryoma…"

Ryoma turned when he heard Serene's voice.

"Serene-chan…"

"Are you heading home?" She asked walking forward with her own briefcase.

"I am," Ryoma confirmed.

"Then I'll walk with you…who is this?" Serene questioned looking at Fuji.

"Oh…This is Fuji Syuusuke, my senpai at Tokyo University… the new girl's father…"

"Oh!" Serene said with a smile. She extended her hand in greeting as she spoke, "I'm Hiyozako Serene, the school nurse and Ryoma's fiancée."

"Fiancee?" Fuji questioned a bit breathless at that.

"Yes," Serine agreed.

"Come one…I have a lot to do before tomorrow Serene, let's get going…good afternoon then Fuji-san." Ryoma said rather stiffly as he led Serene away.

"You're not on good terms with him aren't you?" Serene asked as he guided her out possessively.

"Why would you say that?" Ryoma questioned.

"Because you said your goodbye rather stiffly and guided me away as if hell was after us." Serene pointed out.

"You're to intuitive when it comes to my actions." Ryoma muttered

Serene smiled, "Only as well as you know me."

Ryoma smiled a little a bit as they both walked out the school gates unknown that Fuji watched sadly from behind.

He felt as if seeing Fuji now was melting the ice he had hardened his heart with…it wasn't right, he should be feeling betrayed and angry but those two emotions never came…only the dripping of water that started to form from the moment he saw Fuji this morning….

xXx

Fuji felt the harshness of "fiancée" grasp him as he lay on his bed. He had no idea Ryoma was a teacher here…better yet; he hadn't thought he'd ever see Ryoma again. Today…. today he had realized how unworthy he was to step back into Ryoma's life now after 16 years… how could he tell him…tell him that the marriage to Sakuno was due to his mistake…was it too late?

* * *

A/N: That ends this chapter so I hope everyone enjoyed a bit more on the happenings of this story…it's slowly unfolding but I hope it has kept you're attention!

**Sneak Peek at Chapter III: ****A Little Too Late**

"Ryoma and I have to talk," Fuji pleaded

"TALK? You're a little too late aren't you Fuji-_senpai_," Momoshiro said angrily

"Darling!" An said shocked at her husband's behavior.

"You weren't the one who had to tell him his boyfriend ran away with a girl! You weren't the one to witness the light in his eyes die! YOU WEREN'T THE ONE TO HOLD HIM AS HE CRIED FOR A BASTARD!!!"


	4. Please

A/N: I'm so glad you all loved it. As I mentioned, there's a lot more coming so don't suppose that you know how the story will run. As all my other stories this one will be twisted and turned so much you could never guess pass the next chapter. XD But I will mention for every Reviewer, YES, the title has been explained a bit by Ryoma in his reflection of Fuji and his talk, but the reference to the moon and heart will continue to appear.

REVIEW!!!

Now I have some questions I'd appreciate all of you answer in a review for this story if possible.

This input from you will influence my future format and stories so please do tell me your thoughts or else it may not be to your liking later!

**Quick Questions People:**

Should I start writing old storylines again? Some people asked me through PM's to try writing like everyone else again for a bit and leave my weird original storylines…I don't know…what do you guys want to see? Something like everyone else with my twists or something new that practically no one in the PoT fandom thinks about but me?

Does anyone think I'm rushing my fics too much or is it at a speed you all like? Sometimes I feel as if I'm rushing it but you know I listen to all your opinions so do say so if you think it's going all too fast or too slow! I'll gauge all your opinions and find a middle where I can work. BUT that require that you answer!

Does anyone bother reading the A/N? BE HONEST, Because if you guys don't, I don't know where to leave my little thoughts unless you're willing to check my profile! Which leads into my next question!

Are you willing to check my profile for update dates, polls, and other such stuff? Because if everyone is willing then to find out my next mass release or to have a opinion on my polls will be located there from now on.

Should I only write 1-2 stories at a time instead of 5 or 6? Some people have mentioned that they have to reorganize their brains for each update they read from me because they sometimes confuse characters and storyline. What do you all think?

Does Mass release sound better or individual release? This question is an attempt to ask people what the feel more comfortable with. I started Mass releases because I could release all at the same time and read over all my reviews from all of you at the same time through all my stories so it was a nice little bunch to go through for an hour or so. BUT I can always readjust back to individual releases if it makes everyone feel better!

Does everyone like the chapter previews at the end of the chapter or can you go without it? I'm just curious since I added that recently to some of my stories to test out if everyone would kind of like to know what to expect…but I don't know…your opinion counts!

(Leave your reply in your review as well or e-mail it to me… I might take a hiatus to rethink my stories depending on everyone's answer.)

* * *

Liek Traum- First of all, I'm not offended at all, and I take this as constructive criticism not a flame:) It really helped me so I don't mind…actually I would love you to critique me more often, that way I can start to see it on my own and not depend so much on mistakes caught by reviewers :D Plus thank you for the acknowledgment on original plots. I spent too much time reading remakes that I gradually grew bored and decided to undertake my own storytelling. Hopefully I was a little successful in showing that even with a simple plot like love, with a few twists it can be a wonderful story.

Heart Br0ken- Yes, according to Miyuki, Sakuno is dead. As for everybody, you know I'll make their lives a living hell so you don't even need to wonder (Innocent smile)

flying jade- Miyuki is 100 Fuji and Sakuno's baby. :) No need to worry about Ryoma ever touching Sakuno!

setsuko teshiba- Funny how you say that yet everyone else asks I write more cheerful, carefree stories and leave the angst behind! XD

irishKaoru- It's okay… in my mind I always root Fuji and Ryoma on! XD but on paper it's the difficulties that makes the end the sweetest.

rebeccasanfujieijilvr- Well let me clear it up. Yes Sakuno was having a one-sided love for Ryoma, Ryoma and Fuji were together for 2 years before Ryoma's parents came to check up on him. Yes Fuji disappeared and reappeared married to Sakuno, and they have a child named Miyuki. XD

Hopefully it wasn't too confusing since I seem to throw a lot of information out each chapter!

fan girl 666- Well get ready more of that!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Well… after a while you may ask yourself if you truly hate Fuji. That is, after I tell enough of the story though, it's still early! Afterall, Serene added to the picture complicates the situationeven more don't you think. If I left him single, it'd have given Fuji a better chance with him and I live to rain hell and twist up situations on my readers MUAH HA HA!

abhorsen3-This story is a bit different and hopefully my stories to come will always be different….or else won't you all get bored of repetitive stories? XD

L'uke-chan- Well… it should onlu hurt as much as when he found out Fuji was married ) As for Serene… she'll be catching on soon

MysticBlood- Hehe… but what will you think after this chapter?

PheonixShadow- Fui will give you a short POV to show you a bit of why… otherwise you'll all have to wait for another time

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. [AU

* * *

**Chapter III: ****Please**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**December 16**_

Fuji groaned slightly as he threw himself on his bed. After yesterday's awkward confrontation, Fuji had went back to school today to apologize…only to find Ryoma ignoring him and clearly avoiding him at all cost.

"Why did it end like this? Why?" Fuji mumbled angrily at himself…if only if only he had told Ryoma the truth in the beginning, they could've defied the whole lot that hated them together and be together.

"_Please let him go…he's my only son!"_

Fuji's eyes snapped open as he sat up quickly. Letting out a loud breath, he shook his head from the memories. Even after 16 years it haunted him like it had been yesterday when the events took place.

'Baka Syuusuke!' Fuji chided himself. 'You should let him go…he has a fiancée now!'

"I don't want to!" Fuji whispered to his small room, "I don't want him to misunderstand anymore!"

"You'll just make him misunderstand even more if you keep it up."

"Tezuka!" Fuji said turning towards the door. His former classmate was leaning against the doorframe with the same stoic look Fuji remembered.

"Your daughter said you were frustrated…I should've known it was about Echizen and you." Tezuka said taking a seat next to Fuji on the bed. "How do you feel now that you're finally free?"

"Relieved yet pained…" Fuji said fidgeting with his hands. "You never told me he had someone now."

"I didn't think you'd like to know." Tezuka said bluntly.

"Well if I knew I wouldn't have looked like the idiot I seemed to be when I asked to talk to him!" Fuji said with a frown.

"If I would've told you that he had someone you would've never come back." Tezuka countered.

"Why is it so important that I come back then? Nothing will change even if I tell him now." Fuji said with a sigh.

"He deserves the truth." Tezuka stated firmly, "I would've told him but it wasn't in my place to tell what you should."

Fuji didn't answer as he continued to stare at his hands in thought. Suddenly a hand lay on his shoulder and he looked up at Tezuka.

"Do it soon or you'll regret it even more…he's leaving to America after winter." Tezuka stated as he stood to leave. "I have much to do so I'll be leaving…but whatever you do from here on, I just want you to tell him the truth."

Fuji nodded without saying a word.

"Let the burden go," Tezuka said from the door as he started to walk out of the room.

"He won't talk to me Tezuka!" Fuji said frustrated.

"Then go see him!" Tezuka replied stuffing a hand in his pocket.

"I have no-"

"Talk to Momoshiro at his apartment…he'll have lots of answers to your questions." Tezuka said cutting Fuji off. "Here are directions." Tezuka added handing him the directions to Momoshiro's apartment.

"Why are you helping me so much Tezuka?" Fuji asked.

"I just don't want you to regret," Tezuka said, "Although I am curious how you ended up leaving only to come back married…"

Fuji sighed, "That…was unbelievable even to me now…I never knew she was like that…"

"Perhaps you want to tell him first?" Tezuka asked staring at Fuji's face.  
"I do…but I'm not sure he'll believe me…" Fuji answered with an uncertain smile.

"Well…I do have to run and all I really stopped by for was to see if you were well." Tezuka said as he walked towards the door.

"Thank you for stopping by Tezuka."

"Aa…" Tezuka said before opening the door and exiting.

Although he felt a bit better talking to Tezuka, Fuji mood didn't lift as he remembered how this mess even started…

"_It's already too late, we're married and I'm pregnant!!"_

"_Are you even sure it's mine?" Fuji asked_

"_How can it not be? You slept with me and I wasn't sure but now I'm 100positive I'm pregnant and it's yours!"_

"_I love someone else."_

"_Did I say I care about who you love? The fact is that we got married and we are staying married for our child's sake! I will not divorce you!"_

"_I wasn't even sane when we married!"_

"_That's too bas Syuusuke… you're mine and I already told my grandma and parents…they expect us to go home next week where they will host a reception for us!"_

"_Are you crazy? I love Ryoma!"_

"_Are you stupid? I don't care about that at all! He can be left out of all this…I doubt he'd believe you didn't rape me!"_

"_Ryuzaki…I had no idea-"_

"_It's Fuji now ne anata…" Sakuno said with a spreading smile. "Let's get along now…"_

"Otou-san?"

"Hm?" Fuji asked Miyuki as he snapped out of his stupor.

"I just wanted to ask if you were going anywhere…"

"I am…is there something you need?" Fuji asked.

"Not really…I just wanted to know if you were going," Miyuki said turning to leave her father bedroom.

"Are you troubled Miyuki?" Fuji asked.

"By yours and mother's split? Not at all… it wasn't as if we were a family in the first place anyways… mother never truly cared." Miyuki said before exiting out of Fuji's room completely.

Letting out a long breath, Fuji pulled on his jacket and scarf as he got ready to go. Like Tezuka mentioned, it was now or never…

"I'll be back in a little while Miyuki," Fuji called out as he headed to the front door to slide on his shoes.

"Itterashai," Miyuki called from her room.

"Aa!" Fuji said before closing and locking to door behind him. He headed down the hall with a heavy heart though…he wasn't sure how Momoshiro would react to his request after all.

xXx

**Momoshiro's Apartment**

"Who is it?"

Fuji saw the door swing open to reveal a woman with upswept brown hair juggling a two of three year old boy on her hip.

"Hi…" Fuji started as he bowed a bit to her, "I'm looking for-"

"My husband?" She asked with a smile, "Come in Fuji-san."

"You seem strangely familiar as well…" Fuji said slipping off his shoes.

"I'm An…probably known to you as Tachibana An."

"Ah… not I remember you…" Fuji murmured. "He's in the living room, please go in and I'll bring in some tea."

"Thank you," Fuji said before walking bravely into the living room.

"Who was it An?" Momoshiro asked from where he sat watching TV.

"Hey Momo…" Fuji murmured.

"You…Fuji-senpai…" Momoshiro said softly before a frown formed.

"It's been a while ne?" Fuji said with a small smile sitting across from Momoshiro.

"For what do I owe this pleasure senpai?" Momoshiro asked a bit tense.

"Here you two are…" An said coming in with the tea and 2 kids.

"Thank you, "Fuji said as An poured him a cup.

"Are you going to answer me senpai?" Momoshiro asked accepting his cup from his wife.

"Well… I just wanted to see you and ask you a very important question," Fuji said taking a quick sip of his tea

"What question would that be?" Momoshiro asked looking at Fuji intently now.

"Where does Ryoma live?" Fuji asked meeting his gaze.

"Isn't that a little straightforward to be calling Echizen that?" Momoshiro asked with a pissed expression now.

"Ryoma and I have to talk," Fuji pleaded.

"TALK? You're a little too late aren't you Fuji-_senpai_," Momoshiro said angrily banging his tea cup down on the table a bit hard

"Darling!" An said shocked at her husband's behavior. The little boy whimpered a bit as he saw his daddy's temper and the girl cowered under her mother's shirt.

"You weren't the one who had to tell him his boyfriend ran away with a girl! You weren't the one to witness the light in his eyes die! YOU WEREN'T THE ONE TO HOLD HIM AS HE CRIED FOR A BASTARD!!!" Momoshiro said standing angrily and looking at Fuji who didn't say anything.

"Will you calm down!" An said sternly.

"Gomen An…" Momoshiro said sitting back down.

"I know you have a right to be mad at me but I have a right to tell Ryoma the truth as well." Fuji finally said looking back at Momoshiro, "I owe him a reason for not saying anything for so long."

"Why didn't you say anything? Why did you wait 16 years?" Momoshiro demanded.

"Because I couldn't say anything for all that time…" Fuji said with a sigh, "I had to keep my promise as well…"

"_If you tell him I'll tell him the reason you're breaking up with him…"_

"_Please don't mention that I said this unless you want to break up our family…"_

"That doesn't sound like you to be dead ended into a situation."

Fuji laughed bitterly, " I know… it's near comical that 'I' would be like this but sometimes even I can get entangled in messy affairs that I can't tell…"

"Then I will tell you where he lives," An said before her husband could speak again

"AN!" Momoshiro started.

"YOU can tell him I sent you as well because I think if you're ready to come clean you should." An said with a small smile to Fuji, "Under the condition that you leave him alone if that is what he wants."

"Okay," Fuji agreed readily, "I just don't want to have any more regrets between him and me… no matter what the outcome may be; I want to gamble my chances now."

An nodded and stood to grab a piece of paper and pen ignoring her husbands protests. Writing quickly she handed the paper to Fuji with a smile.

"We love Ryoma very much and I hope whatever you're going to tell him will ease his mind because I believe he was happiest with you…" An said with sincerity, "Please do stop by to visit us again as well!"

"I will," Fuji said with a smile as he stood to bow to both Momoshiro and An.

"I owe you both one…"

"Then please come over for Christmas," An said with a smile.

"I will…thank you again…I want to take care of this so I'll take my leave." Fuji said with a smile.

An nodded and elbowed her husband as Fuji moved towards the door.

"I won't forgive you if you hurt him more!" Momoshiro called out before he went out the door.

"I don't wish to hurt him more… but if it does hurt him them I cannot help it…" Fuji said with a sad smile.

"I wish you luck," An said and waved him off. "Go! Or else he'll be sleeping by the time you get there!"

"Aa!" Fuji said and rushed away. Looking at the piece of paper, he immediately distinguished the place and started their on foot since it wasn't too far from where he was at already.

"Ryoma…" Fuji muttered as he looked towards the direction Ryoma lived. He wasn't hoping too hard for a miracle because he was never lucky at that but he wanted the best for Ryoma…even if it meant losing him to his fiancée after this confession.

* * *

A/N: Tada! It was a quick chapter but it held hints for what really happened in there. The next chapter will have something like this! Please review though!

**Sneak Peek at Chapter IV: ****A Little Too Late**

"I wish we could start over but-"

"You're sixteen years to late Fuji-senpai!" Ryoma said bitterly

xXx

"How much do you love me?"

"Ryoma…"

"How much?" Ryoma demanded staring at him with fearless eyes.

"My love hasn't changed since the night you asked me 16 years ago…" Fuji muttered looking at Ryoma.

Serene eyes widened as she heard what was being said between the two on the other side of the door. Were they…lovers?


	5. A Little Too Late

A/N: At least you'll get to find out about the talk and problems! I actually have the plot for this story all figured out for the writing so now I know what the next few chapters will hold XD

Read and Review like usual and I will love to update for all of you! Constructive criticism is always welcomed! Flames not so well since I believe they are a waste of the writer's time to write a pointless review just to criticize and not help and a complete waste of my time to read something that will no doubt bring down my mood and not help me in making the story any better.

* * *

Liek Traum- I love how your review always helps! The OOC on Sakuno's part was on purpose actually…I'm not about to reveal the nature of her attitude yet but it'll slowly be shown to the readers. That's the only reason why I haven't referenced her change just yet. I want people to draw their own conclusion on why she isn't the sweet girl they thought she was for a while before I open up the reason. 

Ryoma's personality though, I'm saving that for actually another chapter where he will have his chance to show a bit of his suffering during the years and how he came to be the way he was.

I'll be sure to add more description to this chapter! The shortness of this chapter was on purpose actually to tell yet to hide a lot about the events, but if you say it's best to keep a certain length then I will try to do so.

Heart Br0ken- Yes, he suffered but they both suffered in the end.

irishKaoru- Thank you for the insight and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Selyn- An…well actually all the girls never get enough of the light so I thought I'd give her a chance to shine through this story. Everything will be coming out soon so stay tune!

MARYLOVER- of course, it won't be till longer before the whole truth churns out. What would the story be doing if I just went ahead and explained everything at the same time? XD

rebeccasanfujieijilvr- Wait till you see how this turns out!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Well who knows if Tezuka will even fall for anyone XD the main focus I have now is on Thrill pair so it'll continue that way with as little distraction as possible from other characters.

ThrillPair- That, my dear is the point… doesn't that little scene make you want to know how such a sweet girl can sound so demanding?

abhorsen3-How I portray Sakuno comes and goes but this interpretation will come with a reason… a reason I will not reveal all about yet!

munkyaround- I purposely didn't elaborate because Tezuka will come in later again and it'll be explained there… for now it'll be left in the open for all of you to speculate.

kitsune16487- Will she lose though? Or will she win and Ryoma will finally move on? After all, they had many years together as well!

L'uke-chan- Well it keeps people wondering how those scenes even came to be :) Well doesn't it make you wonder what will happen besides the little line I gave you all to read?

MysticBlood- We'll see how much she figures out :)

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. [AU

* * *

**Chapter IV: ****A Little Too Late**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**December 16**_

Fuji sighed as he looked at the address An had written neatly on the half sheet of paper and compared it to the number on the apartment door in front of him…It was the right one.

Taking a deep breath, Fuji lifted his hand and pressed the buzzer. A slight tremble ran through his body as he anticipated the moment Ryoma would open the door. Would he slam the door as soon as he saw him? Would he listen? Would he-

Fuji thoughts were cut off as the door opened gracefully to reveal Serene staring out at him.

"Oh… I know you… are you here to see Ryoma?" Serene asked with a soft smile. She was beautiful... Ryoma's taste was really good.

"I am…if he's busy then-"Fuji started to make an excuse. He had no idea why but he just wanted to escape all of a sudden. It wasn't like him to want to run, it wasn't like him to even be asking if he was busy but here he was…just doing the things so unlike him.

"Actually I was just leaving," Serene said with a smile stepping out. "He's actually getting dressed in his room after his shower so if you'd go in and wait in the living room, I'm pretty sure he'll see you." Serene finished as she slid her hat on.

"Thank you…" Fuji said and walked in. He had no idea what the future of what he was to say was going to happen but no matter what he didn't want to hurt anyone needlessly…even if it meant he'd have to be the one miserable in the end.

Stepping inside the apartment, Fuji noted the tidiness and slid his shoes off before walking in without slippers. He felt he wasn't entitled to use them. Peeking around the first corner, he saw a little dining room that connected to the kitchen. Continuing on his way, he noted the walls were plain and waked straight into the small living room that held two sofas, a coffee table and a TV. Not wanting to take a seat without being invited, Fuji stood by one and looked down the hall to the right of the living room expecting Ryoma.

Distracting himself, Fuji began looking around the apartment for anything to look at instead of anticipating the showdown to come…his gaze connected to a very familiar cat.

"Karupin…." Fuji said softly as he bent down the Himalayan cat that stared at him. As if Karupin had missed him as much as he had missed her, she entered his arms and purred as Fuji's hands found the exact spot she loved being pet in first.

"How are you girl?" Fuji whispered pressing his head onto her soft fur.

"Karupin?"

Fuji felt his whole body stiffen at the muffled call for Karupin. Ryoma's presence, his voice could still affect Fuji thoroughly. Straightening, he set the cat down to wander to his master and braced himself for Ryoma to appear.

"There you are," Ryoma said exiting his room to see Karupin waiting for him in the hall. "Hungry?" Ryoma asked in a soothing, soft voice.

That was the last of that tone…well it was too be expected since Ryoma chose that time to glance up and see Fuji standing there.

"You…" Ryoma started glancing around the corner to see if he had broken into his house.

"Your fiancée let me in before she left." Fuji said before he assumed anything. They were already on the wrong page with each other; it wouldn't be any better if they started the talk on the wrong foot as well.

"What do you want?" Ryoma asked coldly brushing past him towards the kitchen to feed Karupin.

"She's grown since the last time I saw her…" Fuji said trying to soften to tension he felt already building unbearably tight.

Ryoma obviously wasn't in the mood for small talk since his glare and irritation rose tenfold from that comment.

"Ryoma…we need to have a talk about the events of that year," Fuji said following Ryoma into the kitchen.

"There's nothing left to say, it's all in the past."

"There's a lot that needs to be said." Fuji insisted. He turned Ryoma back towards him as Ryoma dropped Karupin onto the floor to eat her cat food.

"What then?" Ryoma asked, "Your excuses?"

The narrow and deadly look directed at Fuji from Ryoma discouraged him but he wasn't about to walk away again. This time, there was nothing to stop him from telling a section of the truth…to hurt him less. Fuji swallowed the building pain in his heart and opened his mouth. "I wish we could start over but-"

"You're sixteen years too late Fuji-senpai," Ryoma said bitterly.

Fuji took a breath and took Ryoma's glare and pain…he wasn't going to lie and say he never hurt Ryoma but he wasn't going to leave Ryoma in the dark anymore either…

"I know I'm late, I know it's too late but I want you to understand why I had to marry her?"

"Had? Everyone said you gladly, married her!" Ryoma shot back at him angrily.

"I was everything but glad to marry her," Fuji said with his own pained expression now. "I was forced to marry her because of my own stupid mistake and I couldn't even tell you…I didn't even have time to tell you how she forced me-"

"Sakuno would never force you to marry her and you know it!" Ryoma argued, "She couldn't even speak a straight sentence without stuttering!"

"Don't you think that's exactly how I thought of her as well?" Fuji demanded running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Don't you think I went over that same line in my head for over sixteen years?"

"How do you think I felt?" Ryoma demanded angrily searching Fuji's face for some sign of guilt or other emotion that might explain this sudden situation.

"Ryoma…" Fuji started with a small frown.

"I don't want to hear it!" Ryoma said angrily. "Just get out of my life, get out of my house!"

"Ryoma I need to tell you-"

"Tell me what?" Ryoma demanded with anger burning brightly in those golden eyes. "Tell me how sorry you were? How pathetic I seemed that day at your reception about to collapse in tears over your answer?"

"I need to tell you how much I missed you and how much you misunderstood this situation." Fuji insisted.

"Just get out Fuji-san…I believe we were through sixteen years ago and that's not changing…what are you hoping for now after sixteen years?" Ryoma asked harshly.

"I just want you to understand if nothing else…" Fuji finally said with a small smile, "I'm not hoping for any miracles beyond friendship again…but I want you to understand."

No one spoke after that. They both continued to look at each other, one with a glare that could kill when it chose to and the other who seemed to stare past the hatred to the one within.

"Get out…I don't want to understand, I don't need to because it has been done already Fuji." Ryoma said breaking off the stare first to resume feeding Karupin. "We should just leave it as neutral as we can-"

"But we're not!" Fuji protested. "I know you resent me for coming back married; I know you hate me because I couldn't give you a reason! Now I just want to give you that reason and hope you'll believe me no matter how outrageous it may sound!"

Without meaning to, Fuji had advanced and grabbed Ryoma by both of his shoulders while he ranted that out. He had crushed Ryoma into a hug he could only dream of giving him for years and let the tears fall down his cheek and onto Ryoma's cheek. He knew he hurt Ryoma badly years ago but he had to live with that and burden and the reasons for so long. If for one moment he could just see Ryoma smile again he would have died willingly…Tezuka and everyone else had given him periodic updates on him every now and then over the years and he was absolutely positive he'd destroyed Ryoma when they told him the depression that nearly killed Ryoma. Sadly, they hadn't mentioned Serene…his fiancée.

Ryoma on the other hand was thoroughly confused now. He was the one who should be having a breakdown! He was the one who should be ranting…yet here he was feeling like he was doing the comforting. He didn't understand the tears that rolled onto his cheek from Fuji…he didn't understand how the one who tortured him so for sixteen years was the one who seemed to be hurting the most right now. Pulling out of Fuji's arms roughly, he didn't know what to say for a while as he merely looked at the man who had smiled at him sixteen years ago now reduced to silent tears and a painful expression.

"Please…give me time to…to see if I want to know…" Ryoma said softly never meeting Fuji's gaze.

"I understand…" Fuji said softly, "I won't bother you again…"

Ryoma almost wanted to protest but as he looked up all he saw was Fuji brushing the tears away with a soft, sad smile on his lips. "I promised An I wouldn't push the situation and I won't break her trust in my words…" He didn't say more as he turned to exit the dining room back into the hall to slide on his shoes. Ryoma didn't know how to feel as the door shut softly behind Fuji. He only stood there and felt as if he should've listen…because he knew, somewhere in his heart, he needed to know.

xXx

_**Fuji's Apartment**_

"Okaeri," Miyuki said watching her father walk in the front door.

"Tadaima…" Fuji said with a slight smile to his daughter.

Miyuki suppressed her frown as she walked up to her father. "Dad…you know, I've been wondering for a while now but…did you use to have a lover here?"

"Aa…" Fuji mumbled as he slid into his slippers and headed towards the kitchen, "I have a headache so I'm taking some medicine and going to bed."

"Who was she?" Miyuki asked bluntly.

Fuji merely chuckled as he downed 2 pills with a bit of water to wash them down. Patting Miyuki lovingly on the head he headed to his room. "But you've already met him Miyuki…Ryoma's cute huh?"

"Ryo…" Miyuki eyes widened considerably now…Her parents were in love with the same person! To make it worse…he was her homeroom teacher?

'Dad….' Miyuki thought sadly as she watched him shut the door softly. He didn't need to say he was miserable…she could see it so clearly…just like she saw both her parents torturing each other with their existence…with her existence…

xXx

_**Homeroom**_

"Miyuki?"

POKE

"Ouch!" Miyuki said looking at the girl in front of her before her gaze fully connected to her teacher's soulless black-gold eyes.

"Are you going to answer that you're here or not for the fifth time?" Ryoma asked with a sigh.

"Here," Miyuki complied and ignored the snickers and whispers about her daydreaming while staring at Echizen-sensei.

"Thank you," Ryoma said before returning back to roll call.

All the while Miyuki continued to stare at him. She hadn't quite found anything in particular that would him attractive to not only her mother but father as well.

'Maybe if I talk to him I'll find the reason.' Miyuki thought as she unconsciously fidgeted with her pencil and closed her eyes in thought.

xXx

_**Lunch**_

"Sensei?" Miyuki said cautiously as she approached Ryoma towards as he walked down the hall towards his office.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked sparing her only a small look as he hurried towards his office.

"Could I talk with you for a few minutes?" Miyuki asked following him just as quick.

"If it's about school sure," Ryoma answered.

"It's more of a quick question." Miyuki said with a small smile.

"Oh? Don't you have a bento to eat or something?" Ryoma asked hoping she'd go away. Her father and his confrontation last night were still weighing on his mind and he didn't want to think or be reminded of last night.

"I forgot my bento at home." Miyuki admitted. "But what I really wanted to ask you is could you please tell me why both my parents loved you?" Miyuki said as straightforwardly as Fuji ever would.

Ryoma didn't answer for a long time as he stopped in to stare at the girl who asked such weird and probing questions as he father used to. "They love each other, not me." Ryoma clarified for her. It seemed she was taking her mother's death a bit hard and her father wasn't any better than she was judging from how he acted yesterday night.

"You're wrong!" Miyuki said with a frown. A sudden darkness seemed to settle within her amber eyes, as her face slowly grew emotionless.

"What do you mean I'm wrong?" Ryoma asked. He just wanted to not see her, not think about last night, and chide Serene for letting Fuji in last night.

"Life was horrible…you have no idea…." Miyuki whispered.

"Miyuki-chan!"

Miyuki turned to see a classmate waving her over. "You're father's here with your bento."

"Oh…" Miyuki said and bowed to Ryoma really quick before turning and leaving. She had nothing else to say to him at the moment…

"_You are our treasure…our prison."_

"…_Because I could say nothing…I stayed silent"_

"_You were named as a reminder to his downfall and a reminder to me that I slept with him!"_

Shaking the memories of her parents off her mind. She pasted a smile on her lips as she saw her father down the hall holding her bento. For him, she'd be happy.

'So please smile too papa…'

xXx

"You forgot your bento." Fuji said with a small smile to his daughter.

"You didn't have to come all the way to school to give it to me." It's okay; I had business here anyways since I have to drop off your medical records with the nurse.

"Oh?" Miyuki said with a 'bright' smile, "Then don't let me keep you."

"You aren't a burden to me Miyuki." Fuji said with a smile and small ruffle to his daughter's head. "I'll see you at home later okay?"

Miyuki nodded and waved a bit as her father walked down the hall towards the main hall. For her father's sake she'd look forward and not backward.

Fuji continued walking down the hall. In truth, he wanted to see Ryoma more to finish explaining but he knew Ryoma would only get angry again.

Seeing the door labeled as the nurses room he turned to see the door wide open with Ryoma being fed by the nurse, his fiancée…the person he needed to give Miyuki's file to.

"Fuji-san…"

"Oh…Nakuto-san." Fuji greeted the principal.

"Are you here to drop off the medical record?" Nakuto asked with a smile.

"Aa…only she seems a bit busy."

"They are huh…" Nakuto said peeking in to see the sweet scene. "I could give it to her if you don't want to interrupt."

"Could you?" Fuji said handing the file to Nakuto instead. He could've interrupted them, hell he had wanted to but he held back because he didn't want Ryoma to dislike him any more than he had already. Bowing a bit to Nakuto-san Fuji turned and headed towards the parking lot. If he wanted to talk to Ryoma, it seemed he'd have to wait a while.

xXx

_**Nurse Office**_

"Is it because of your senpai?"

"Huh?" Ryoma asked snapping out of his daze to see Serene holding a Ponta in his face. He had been looking outside and talking to Serene but then he saw Fuji walking towards his car… and that captured his attention fully.

"I said are you withdrawn because your senpai is back?" Serene asked with a small smile towards Ryoma.

"Not at all," Ryoma lied with a straight face. "I was just thinking about my schedule for the rest of the day."

Serene gave him a look that told him his lie wasn't working. "You never had to think about doing the same thing everyday before."

"Well-"

"But I wonder how your senpai knew where you lived…even though you moved like three times since you last seen him right?" Serene asked changing the subject. If Ryoma didn't want to tell her just yet then she'd wait. He usually ended up telling her anyways.

"I…. don't know." Ryoma said before he promptly returned to his alternate world.

This worried Serene much more than she showed. It wasn't that she was a nosey person who needed to know what had perspired between Ryoma and his senpai but he hadn't drifted away from her this much since they first started seeing each other. He was becoming withdrawn and dreamy again and that left her lonely. Reaching out to touch him, she stopped halfway there as she watched his eyes soften and follow the car she knew his senpai had driven here in.

'What's going on?' Serene wondered as she looked at their bentos on her desk sadly. Usually Ryoma ate quickly and noted her presence even if he didn't talk but this was beyond his usual distance. It was as if they had moved a million miles only to end in the same place.

xXx

_**Tezuka's Apartment**_

"Is there something wrong Fuji?"

Fuji glanced up as Tezuka sat down with a cup of tea for the both of them. He had come to see Tezuka to forget about some of his troubles but he felt as if he was just coming to dump it all on Tezuka. With a sigh he stared at the tea he just accepted from Tezuka and watched the water ripple a bit.

"It's Echizen isn't it?" Tezuka said with stoically.

"I'm sorry Tezuka… you shouldn't even be involved…and I have no idea why you're even helping me." Fuji stated with a small smile on his lips. "You should hate me like the rest of them…"

"I believe you had your own reasons Fuji," Tezuka said. "I can understand both sides so I won't take sides."

"Don't bullshit me like that Tezuka, you must've been mad at me as well at one point."

"Don't say at one point, even now I'm not happy with what you did but I approve of you owning up to the responsibility and trying to fix your mistake." Tezuka said a bit sharply.

Fuji nodded in understanding and blinked the tears that threatened to spill back. "So you're helping me in order to help Ryoma…"

Tezuka sighed loudly before Fuji felt him stand. It was quite sudden when Fuji felt Tezuka's hand land on his shoulder in support.

"I did it for the both of you…not one or the other." Tezuka admitted, "You may be hailed as a Tensai Fuji but even the best fall down sometimes."

Fuji nodded slowly…for years he didn't want to turn back because he believed what he did could not be undone. What happened between Ryoma and him would split all the people they knew into two sides…that was something Fuji didn't want; yet here he was making people choose sides.

"I'm sorry…" Fuji said swallowing the lump in his throat.

"I understand…" Tezuka merely said as he studied his broken friend. He wasn't sure what had happened in those sixteen years in England but Tezuka could only assume it was bad. He doubted Fuji and Echizen realized it, but since their breakup, they both had been broken and secretly searching for a way to heal. 'Do the right thing.' Tezuka thought solemnly as he glanced outside. Although it was only mid-afternoon, the sky had darkened considerably and fresh snow was falling from the sky. Tezuka lifted the corner of his mouth in a half-attempt to smile. Snow…so beautiful yet so cold…looks were so deceiving.

xXx

_**After school**_

Fuji took a deep breath as he saw paced the hall outside Miyuki's homeroom. He could hear Ryoma's irritated voice rattling out homework and last minute announcements before dismissing them. When the door slid open and Ryoma step through Fuji stood a bit in front of Ryoma to draw his attention to him. He expected Ryoma to ask him what he wanted but instead Ryoma ignored him completely and started towards his office as if Fuji had not even existed.

"Ryoma…please let me explain fully." Fuji pleaded a bit as he followed Ryoma furiously.

"Why?" Ryoma asked avoiding the kids that were filing out of other classrooms.

"Because," Fuji said avoiding the on-coming traffic as well, "I want you to fully understand everything. If after that you still don't want anything to do with me then I'll leave you alone for good."

It seemed that caught Ryoma's attention since he stopped and turned to search Fuji's face. Slowly he searched his face for any tricks before Ryoma nodded slowly. "Fine, five minutes…follow me."

"Aa…" Fuji said and followed him obediently. Just the fact that Ryoma would listen to a part of the story already lightened his heart a bit.

xXx

"Speak," Ryoma commanded as soon as he shut his office door behind them. "Serene has a quick meeting so I want you out of here before she gets here."

"Okay…" Fuji said softly. Although he knew Ryoma was engaged because he got married sixteen years ago it didn't stop the jealously from ebbing at his heart. Ignoring the prick of hurt stabbing at him, Fuji sat slowly and looked at Ryoma's irritated golden eyes. If he never got to see Ryoma again after this, he wanted this memory…no matter how painful; he wanted it etched into his mind…the one he loved.

"_You'll remember me…" Fuji whispered._

"_I don't want to,"_

"_I'll make sure you won't forget," Fuji said with smile burying Ryoma into his jacket. "Even if I've left this world, I'll make sure you remember me forever!"_

"Well?"

Fuji eyes refocused on the angered golden eyes staring at him. A scowl was very apparent on Ryoma's face yet Fuji didn't fear it at all…

"I suppose I should apologize for a lot of things…but I'll never apologize for meeting and dating you." Fuji started. "I never wanted to hurt you but I did anyways…I suppose my doubts started when your parents came. I…I felt so guilty because I hadn't known you were they're only child, I hadn't known that I was taking you away from your parents."

He glanced up to look at Ryoma but he remained emotionless. Glancing at his hands he continued. "I guess it really stressed me out and I went out to drink…Sakuno happened to be there and I can't really remember what happened but I ended up at her place. We agreed that we wouldn't talk of it and I started to- to distance myself from you. It was a month or so after that incident when we had that fight and I decided to out and drink again. Next thing I know, I wake up next to my wife who tells me that she's already told everyone we were married and she was pregnant from that one time." Fuji finished bitterly remembering the scene vividly.

(A/n: This recalling isn't being told to Ryoma. It's only Fuji's thoughts)

"_We can't be!" Fuji exclaimed moving away from Sakuno in shock._

"_But we are." Sakuno said with a slow smile, "we got married last night…you may have called me Ryoma but we still got married."_

"_Aren't you bothered that I didn't even know it was you?" Fuji demanded pulling on his boxers and pants._

"_Not at all…because Ryoma doesn't like me."_

"_What does that have to do with this?" Fuji asked looking at the girl he had thought was cute and shy. The one in front of him was shamelessly bare-chested and looking at him with half-crazed eyes._

"_You can't have him…" Sakuno said with a small giggle, "I won't let you have him…you're married to me now! You can't have him!"_

_Fuji blinked a couple of times as he saw a crazed grin cross her face as she looked at him. "Ryuzaki…"_

"_Fuji now dear," Sakuno said sweetly with the innocent smile she always had._

"_NO!" Fuji said pulling on his shirt. "THIS is a mistake and we are going to undo it! I'm going to tell Ryoma about this accident and he'll understand."_

"_You're not going to tell him anything." Sakuno said with a frown, "No matter what you tell him, the child I carry is still yours and my parents won't stand for a divorce!"_

"_Child?" Fuji choked out._

"_Yes…if you haven't forgotten a month or so ago we had unprotected sex." Sakuno said proudly rubbing her abdomen lightly._

"_But…"_

"_I didn't want to tell you yet but it seems I need to." Sakuno announced._

"_We're going home and I'm still going to explain this is Ryoma!" Fuji said searching for his things._

"_How can we when there's a snow storm here and the only way home is blocked." Sakuno asked childishly._

"_What?" Fuji asked pulling open the curtains only to be blinded by the whiteness of the snow that blanketed everything and hadn't quit coming yet either._

"_Anata…you are mine…" Sakuno said wrapping an arm around Fuji. "We are bonded and by the time we get home, there will only be time for congratulations."_

"_Ryoma-"_

"_You're going to have to forget it unless you want me to tell him what you mentioned so carelessly drunk to me." Sakuno said turning back to the bed._

"_I said some things?" Fuji asked turning to grab and shake her a bit roughly._

"_Yes you did, and if we don't stay married then you can be sure I'll tell him!"_

"Liar!"

Fuji snapped out of his thoughts once more to see Ryoma standing to gather his things.

"What…Ryoma it's the truth, I woke up married to her!" Fuji said.

'More like you forced her to marry you!" Ryoma said with a glare at Fuji. "You expect me to believe Sakuno would do such a thing? She couldn't even hurt a fly!"

"That's what I originally thought as well but-"

"But what Fuji? She pointed a gun to your head and said marry me?" Ryoma asked completely not believing a word against Sakuno. "Nice try Fuji but if you truly wanted to tell me something important why don't you tell me if you ever truly loved me!"

"My feelings haven't changed since the night you asked Ryoma!" Fuji said reaching out to Ryoma only to feel Ryoma whack his hand away roughly.

"Get out; I don't ever want to see you again!" Ryoma growled out turning away from Fuji as he continued to gather his things and stuff it into his bag a lot rougher than before. Unknown to the heartbroken Fuji and angry Ryoma, Serene was on the other side of the door shocked from the last line from Ryoma's mouth. She had just come to pick him up and her mood was shot down when she heard him ask how much his senpai loved him. Leaning against the wall next to the door Serene wondered if they were close lovers who had a bad break back then.

* * *

A/N: That ends this emotionally chapter but next chapter will with even more. Miyuki will get her chance to tell her part of the story and the showdown of Serene and Fuji begins. Please review as always! 


	6. Silent Snow

A/N: Thank you to everyone for reviews you all took the time to write. Besides that point though, Thank Syuusuke that his birthday triggered writing syndromes in my head and allowed me to spill not only so many chapters but such LONG chapters to satisfy everyone for the next week or so… check up regularly on my profile for a solid date on the next mass update!

Although this chapter ensues a lot of pain, hurts and other stuff to make you sad please review anyways…even if it is just to cry and curse at me XP

* * *

Heart Br0ken- Well if it's Sakuno…all that is pretty unbelievable huh? XD Miyuki's acting strong and the reasons for that are about to spill very, very soon. Well they may not hate each other BUT if it involves Ryoma they'll fight. :) 

Selyn- Well people change in situations and I really wanted to play with that idea! XD This is my first time messing with a person's original personality and twisting it.

Miyuki will have her chance to show her POV of her parents relationship soon so everyone will get more insight on what went on in England and Serene will have to fight for her position. That I can guarantee, sacrificing is still a maybe. More answers will come soon.

MARYLOVER- Yes she's quite OOC as of right now… but it'll become clearer later as usual then upfront. I'm glad you like Miyuki :) I never try to create a OC to take up space and have no use. Miyuk was created as an obstacle and… I'll let her do the talking this chapter XD

The triangle has just started so we'll just have to wait :)

rebeccasanfujieijilvr- That it is! XD

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Well she seemed a bit crazy huh? It'll go into more detail about that later though. Serene is an OC I'm trying something new with so just see how you may like her in future chapters. Tezuka is going to play bystander ONLY so be happy :)

ThrillPair- She did go psycho! But it'll be explained later.

abhorsen3-Well it'd take maybe Miyuki because I'd find it hard to believe as well if Fuji told me Sakuno was like that XD

NDebN- I apologize for the shortness as always :) But I do try to spill at least five pages! (Last chapter barely made it XP) But no matter this one is bigger and longer and filled with so much more!

If it were up to me, I'd be updating every other day as well but sadly writing must work around my life:) But I'm absolutely glad you're starting to like Club 7 because that is only the beginning.

munkyaround- It's always nice to know someone was waiting :) There are only bits and pieces of Sakuno I'm showing right now because it will be revealed fully later as to why she was so demanding. Miyuki will get her chance to say something as well!

L'uke-chan- Sadly that was voted out but I can say it will be an eventful chapter!

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. [AU

* * *

**Chapter V: ****Silent Snow**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**December 18**_

The memory of their last fall out yesterday was weighing on Fuji's mind. Sighing, Fuji pulled open the window in his room to catch the snow that was starting to blanket the city again.

'So beautiful…yet so cold…' Fuji thought as the beautiful flakes fell onto his warm hands and disappeared instantly. His mood didn't lift at all even as he tried to see the world from another perspective…because in his heart, mind and soul; he knew he lost Ryoma for good.

'Baka!' Fuji chided himself with a sad smile as he leaned on the windowsill ignoring the numbing his outstretched hands was experiencing from the snow and cold. 'You promised everyone and yourself to give up if he still rejected you…'

"…and yet you lie to yourself more…" Fuji muttered to himself wondering now if the weather now could freeze warm tears from a broken being.

Miyuki shut the door quietly as she headed back to the kitchen. Ever since yesterday after school, her father's mood hadn't changed and she was now more than sure that it had to do with Echizen-sensei.

Staring at her homework, Miyuki finally just pushed it aside and placed her head on the table with a loud sigh. Life was so complicated at the moment and the current situation was making her worry…she didn't want her father to break like he did in England…she didn't want to ever see that again!

She had been eight-years-old when she realized that her parents were wearing masks for her sake. Her happy, loving father's mask broke that day and ever since, whenever he was close to breaking Miyuki instinctively knew and each time she knew, she prayed he wouldn't leave her as he tried to do once.

"Daddy…" Miykui muttered against her arm, "please be okay…I'll talk to him tomorrow…he'll understand daddy…he'll understand what mom was…"

Well….at least she hoped he would understand. Perhaps her father hadn't told him yet of her mother's true twisted nature…

xXx

_**December 18**__**th**_

_**Ryoma's Apartment**_

Ryoma cursed beneath his breath as he reached for another cup of coffee. He blamed his bad mood on Fuji's absurd confession yesterday after school! Leaning back against the chair he was sitting on, he tried to concentrate on the fact that Serene had promised to come over later to cook. Yes…he was going to happy and damn Fuji for trying to interfere now after sixteen damn years!

Ryoma closed his eyes as the memories of some ten years of misery came flooding back to him. After Fuji and Sakuno had married and moved to England, he had moped around and lived like there was no tomorrow. He had dropped out of the term, shut himself away from all his friends and lived each day weakening to the betrayal of the man he loved so much. It had taken almost two months before he allowed himself back into the world…not as himself but as a changed man. He had lost the will to be cocky about anything, the reasons to be blunt about everything and the attitude of the former Echizen Ryoma. It was by pure luck that four years after that, he met Serene…a nurse who was determined to love and pull him out of his stupor…

RING RING

The ring of the phone snapped Ryoma out of his thoughts immediately. Reaching for the phone he answered hoping it was someone who could distract his thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Seishounen,"

"Oyaji!" Ryoma said recognizing the annoying nickname to the lighthearted, teasing voice. " What do you want?"

"Your mother wanted me to call and give you a heads up about the apartment we have arranged for Serene and you."

"Oh…" Ryoma asked leaning back on his chair again more relaxed this time. "Is it free to occupy soon?"

"Everything is set to be ready by the 15th of January…your mother also wanted you both to join us for Christmas since the local school is looking for teachers…maybe you can apply."

"I'll talk to Serene tonight about it Oyaji." Ryoma said with a sigh. "… thanks for arranging things for Serene and me." Ryoma finally added after a while.

"No problem kid…I'll see you soon then?"

"Aa…I'll call and tell you both if we can come or not." Ryoma promised writing himself a note on the paper next to him.

"Okay…bye,"

Ryoma didn't answer as he hung up and stared at the note he wrote. Surely this was a sign that he should keep moving and stop hounding the past for answers or leftover hopes.

"You'll be living a happy life!" Ryoma uttered to himself as he took a sip of his coffee and looked back over the papers he was grading. He was glad his father called…it had taken his mind off of Fuji.

xXx

_**Fuji's Apartment**_

"So you're giving up?" Tezuka asked looking up from the tea Miyuki had left for Fuji and him before leaving the living room to go to her bedroom.

"So you're giving up?" Tezuka asked looking up from the tea Miyuki had left for Fuji and him before leaving the living room to go to her bedroom.

"Aa…after all, I promised I would let go after I explained." Fuji said with a smile as his gaze centered on the teacup in his hands.

"I assume you've said all you needed to say then?" Tezuka asked with a slight frown that Fuji hadn't looked at him once since they sat to drink the tea.

"There's probably one more thing I should've told him straight off but that can wait till his birthday when I'll see him." Fuji said glancing up with a smile. " I can wish him the best at Momoshiro and An-chan's Christmas party."

Tezuka merely sighed and looked sternly at Fuji. "You're avoiding time alone with him aren't you?"

"Maybe…" Fuji said swirling his tea by rotating the glass in his hands. "Maybe I'm scared to face him alone because I still have such strong feelings for him."

xXx

_**Ryoma's apartment**_

"I can't believe you two told him where I lived!" Ryoma said crossly as he looked from An to Momoshiro who had come to see if he was okay after seeing Fuji.

"He wanted to give you the reason you were searching for so I saw no harm in giving your address to him." An said pointedly. " Ryoma, did you even hear him out?"

" I did," Ryoma replied gruffly. First, he hadn't expected a visit from Momoshiro and An, and second, he was in a bad mood again because An brought Fuji back up!

"And?" An pushed ignoring Ryoma's stubbornness and glare.

"He told me the most unbelievable lie ever so I still hate him!" Ryoma stated.

"Oh? And how did you know it was a lie?" An questioned with an apparent frown on her face to show her displeasure at Ryoma's attitude.

"Because I KNOW his wife wasn't a person like that!" Ryoma said with a frown.

"Oh?" An said with her own frown, "So why don't you-"

"Momoshiro-san…An-chan!" Serene greeted walking into the living room, "You two are visiting Ryoma?"

"Aa…" Momoshiro said trying to draw the attention away from the tension of his wife and Ryoma.

"We were just leaving though…" An said to Serene with a smile while ignoring Ryoma completely.

"Oh? Why don't you two stay a while?" Serene coaxed hanging her jacket up as she unloaded the grocery she brought with her.

"No thanks, we have to get home… the kids…" An said with a softer smile, " maybe next time Serene-chan."

"Aa…" Serene said with a regretful smile, " Till next time then…" Serene finished moving to hug both Momoshiro and An goodbye.

"See you later Echizen…" Momoshiro said with a small smile although his face conveyed more of a sorry.

"Aa…" Ryoma said with a nod putting an arm around Serene as they both walked Momo and An to the door.

As soon as the door shut Serene turned to face Ryoma with a quick kiss to his lips and look.

"What?" Ryoma asked knowing that look meant she was searching for a weak point in his expression for the day.

"You upset her didn't you?" Serene asked searching his face with those amber eyes he swore could see into his soul sometimes.

"Why do you think that?" Ryoma asked lifting a brow.

"Because she was clearly upset and you don't look all too happy either… did it have to do with them telling your senpai where you lived?" Serene asked escaping his arms to continue her way back to the kitchen.

"Somewhat…" Ryoma murmured softly. "It's just that they had no right too and you had no right to let him in either!" Ryoma accused lightly at his fiancée.

" Well I had no idea you two were not in the right terms." Serene announced, " besides, you introduced him to me as you would everyone else so I naturally assumed you two were in good terms with each other."

"Well you thought wrong for once." Ryoma said sitting on the sofa with a huge sigh.

"I'm not perfect dear," Serene clarified, 'what was the reason you asked I sleep over for?" Serene asked switching topics.

"Oh, my dad called and asked that we have Christmas with them in LA…" Ryoma muttered watching Serene maneuver with grace through his kitchen as she tied her black hair up in a messy ponytail.

"And?" Serene asked coming over to sit beside him.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go of course…" Ryoma murmured as he pressed a kiss to her forehead lightly.

"Why would I say no to the man I love?" Serene asked with a smile before it started to fade.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked noting her change.

"Ryoma…I need you to be completely honest with me right now…were you and your senpai lovers before?" Serene asked straightforwardly looking at Ryoma intently with her amber eyes.

"Yes…" Ryoma answered after a while.

"Do you still love him?" Serene asked right after he answered the first question.

"Serene…"

"Do you still love him?" Serene repeated. She wasn't going to let him escape when she needed to know the depth of the words she heard yesterday…she had spent the whole night last night coming up with different scenarios of why Ryoma would ask his senpai that but the only one that made sense was the fact that they were lovers and still attached.

"I honestly don't know how I really feel for him anymore…but I doubt I love him." Ryoma said brushing a stray hair from Serene's face.

"Ryoma…is he they reason why you're still hesitating to marry me after more than eight years together?" Serene asked never looking away from him. She almost frowned openly when she saw his golden eyes darken just a bit as he opened his mouth to reply to her. "I want the truth…" Serene added before the lie could even spill from his mouth. She didn't want to hear any lies…she wanted to hear why he was so hesitant and why the hell she had been so patient.

"Perhaps…" Ryoma finally said after being caught almost lying. Honestly he didn't know why he waited so long but he also knew that he hadn't been thinking Fuji was going to come back so he stalled either.

"Is that so…" Serene said as she stood and went to grab her jacket.

"Are you mad?" Ryoma asked noting that she was leaving.

"Not particularly honey…" Serene said with a small smile to Ryoma. " I just need to do some things and clear my schedule if we're going to be leaving to LA."

"I see…" Ryoma said following her to the door, " Then I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

"Aa…good night Ryoma…" Serene said wrapping her arms around Ryoma briefly before she let him go.

"Un…" Ryoma merely replied watching her go down the hall towards the stairs.

'I think you hurt her…' Ryoma muttered to himself before he reluctantly closed the door and started back towards his stack of papers that still needed to be corrected.

xXx

_**Fuji's Apartment.**_

"Miyuki…" Fuji called out towards the bedroom. "Dinner's ready…"

Walking down the hall, Fuji opened his daughter's door to see her curled up in bed sleeping already. With a small sigh, he went in to pull the blanket over his daughter before he turned off her lights.

"Night sweetheart…" Fuji murmured against her forehead as he pressed a light kiss to her forehead. However bad his cards in life may be, he counted Miyuki as a good in the bad. He loved his daughter and despite how much it may destroy him in the end, he'd do anything for her…and Ryoma.

DING DONG

Fuji walked out of his daughter's room, closing the door lightly before he went towards the front door. He had no idea who else could be visiting but he was sure it wasn't going to be Tezuka again.

Swinging the door open, Fuji was a bit shocked to see Ryoma's fiancée standing on his doorstep with a blank look.

"Yes?" Fuji asked eyeing her carefully.

"I'm sorry I looked up your address on the information sheet but I wanted to speak to you." Serene said with a small smile.

"I see…come in…" Fuji invited, " would you like anything to-"

"I'm not here to drink and play with you Fuji-san…I merely wanted to tell you that I know of Ryoma and your relationship." Serene replied getting straight to the point with her confidant amber eyes boring into his.

"I see…" Fuji said looking straight at her as well. Whatever her real intentions were, he wasn't about to cower as if he was a women either…he had no shame admitting he was Ryoma's ex-lover so he wasn't going to hide anything.

"I'm not going to move aside for you Fuji-san…I've been with him for eleven years and I love him very much despite how much you're confusing him at the moment." Serene said strongly. "If you want him back after so many years then you'll have to come get him."

"Hiyozako-san…" Fuji started recalling Ryoma's introduction of his fiancée a couple days before.

"That is really all my business here Fuji-san…" Serene stressed turning to leave. "I believe he'll choose me though."

"I think you're misunderstanding though," Fuji said with a 'polite' smile, "I may love him very much but the circumstances have changed and I doubt he looks at me in the same way anymore…"

"That is where you're wrong!" Serene said without turning back to face Fuji at all. "I see it in his eyes…the uncertainty…but I will win over that."

Without another word, Fuji watched as he watched Ryoma's fiancée almost float towards the exit of the apartment. Whatever may have been her real intention was quickly flushed out of Fuji's mind though. What she had mentioned was all he remembered…so Ryoma still had a bit of affection for him…

"Ryoma…" Fuji whispered lightly as he drifted into his thoughts…so lost was he in his thoughts that he failed to realize Miyuki's door closing softly again.

xXx

_**December 19**__**th**_

Miyuki stared at Ryoma as he taught English…. he had stolen both her parents hearts and she still couldn't find a reason why it was so…then again, she had heard that love never made sense. The confrontation of the school nurse and her father opened her eyes to another view. It seemed that her father wasn't the only one harboring feelings if what Hiyozako-san said was right yesterday then she had a chance to help her father.

"Fuji, start from page 12 line 26." Ryoma said absently.

"Aa…" Miyuki said standing. Looking at the English words she began, "There are many reasons and explanations as to why things are as they are…"

xXx

Miyuki was a bit disappointed all through the day. During break that day, she hadn't been able to locate Echizen-sensei at all or lunchtime… her last chance was in a few minutes before her father came to pick her up. It wasn't every day that he picked her up but today he had promised to go watch a movie with her…but before that…she needed to find-

THERE!

She spotted Echizen-sensei walking towards his office from the window but there was still 2 minutes of class time left before the day ended. Miyuki fidgeted as she cautiously began to put her stuff away and get ready to corner him. She needed to talk to him…to make him understand a bit of her father…Tearing her eyes away from the window after Echizen-sensei disappeared, she adverted her eyes to the clock that seemed to slow as the last minute ran five times as long as it should.

'Hurry!' Miyuki urged the clock and teacher as she started to close her lecture.

"I'll see you all tomorrow then!" the teacher said and all the students cheered as the bell rang.

"Miy-" her friends turned to say but all they saw was Miyuki flying out of the classroom heading towards the teacher's lounge at full speed.

xXx

"Echizen-sensei!" Miyuki said catching her breath after she caught him right before he left the teacher's lounge to probably go the nurse's office.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked glancing at the breathless girl who was propped against the wall heaving for her breath.

"Can we talk?" Miyuki asked between heaving for her breath.

"About what?" Ryoma asked. He definitely didn't want to speak to Fuji's daughter if he sent her to hound him.

"I just want you to understand my father a bit sensei!" Miyuki said placing a hand over her chest to clam her heart rate. Running halfway across the school as fast as she could wasn't to wise.

"Fuji-chan…" Ryoma started with a frown. He had enough of daughter and father now!

"Please sensei!" Miyuki said stubbornly, " I really want you to understand so that Dad and you won't regret!"

"I don't regret my years…" Ryoma said stubbornly.

"But my father does!" Miyuki countered with a desperate look. "I don't want to see that regret on his face anymore so-"

"Miyuki-chan!" Ryoma said firming his voice a bit now from irritation, "Your father has already given me his outrageous story about your mother forcing him to marry her and being half-crazy!"

"But it's true!" Miyuki said with fiery amber eyes that could match Serene right now.

"I knew your mother Miyuki…I'm not going to believe your father or your lies!" Ryoma said with an irritated sigh. He was about to be harsher but when he looked into her eyes, angry tears were forming and streaming down her face as she looked like she wanted to slap him across the face. Not wanting to cause a bigger scene than they were already, Ryoma pulled her into an empty classroom next to where they were standing.

"Look-"

"Baka!" Miyuki said angrily, "You think you know her? I lived with her…my father and I lived with her!"

"Miyuki…"

"Don't sensei!" Miyuki said wiping her tears with her uniform sleeve. "You have no idea how much torture we all went through together because of you…"

"Torture?" Ryoma asked.

A sad smile touched Miyuki's lips, as her eyes seemed to be lost in a painful but precious memory. "My parents tortured each other with their existence…with my existence…I was a weapon…a wall to make sure dad stayed."

"What do you mean?" Ryoma asked clearly not following anything now.

"You are our treasure…our prison…" Miyuki said with a sarcastic laugh. "That's what mother told me as I grew up…I had no idea what that truly meant till I turned eight. By then, I realized my father wasn't the happy man I thought him to be…. my mother wasn't the protective mother I saw…I was her tool, her weapon to make sure that dad remembered every single day what he did to her…

"What did he do to her?" Ryoma asked completely in disbelief at the whole story in front of him unfolding.

"He gave her me…but I found out through my mother's diary that she had planned to have me…she drugged him both times…taking drugs herself to make sure she'd get pregnant the first time and to marry dad the second time. Did you know he married her thinking she was Ryoma?" Miyuki said with a tearful laugh.

"Sakuno…why would she…"

"She loved you…loved you with such a passion that she was willing to make all of you suffer with longing for the rest of your lives. By taking away my father, she stopped him from ever being with you and that was how our lives started." Miyuki said bitterly walking towards the window to watch the students play in the snow or start heading home with friends. "There wasn't a day that she didn't remind dad that they were going to live together forever loving another because of 'Miyuki'!"

Ryoma eyes widened as he listened to her bitter tale…he could only think of how much it was hurting her to recall the fact that she wasn't born out of love but out of need for a weapon…a wall to hold people from each other. He couldn't think of anything to say to her at all…he didn't know if he believed her, if he should comfort her…

"My greatest fear on the day I finally understood that my parents were wearing masks was one night…I was eight and had awaken from a nightmare…wandering out of my room I realized my mother wasn't home so I went to the study to find my father." Miyuki said softly blinking back tears now as she faced Ryoma fully now. "He was in his study…with his mask removed. All the pain, hurt, everything was on his face…not the smile he gave me every morning, not the laughs he laughed when I tried my best at school, it was the real face. Do you know what he was doing?"

Ryoma was a bit afraid to find out but Miyuki seemed to be expecting an answer from him now. "What…" Ryoma heard himself answering.

"He was cutting his wrists…he was killing himself…" Miyuki said trailing her finger pasts her wrists to show exactly what she saw sadly. "There was blood everywhere…and I knew then that he wouldn't hesitate to leave me if I was a bad girl…I promised I'd be good, I'd do my best so don't take away my dad." Miyuki whispered. "It was lucky that mom came home and saved him…she saved him so that he wouldn't be able to escape."

Ryoma stared at Miyuki in disbelief…he never would've thought Fuji could try to kill himself! But her pain-filled eyes, her tears flowing, her pain-filled expression was too real to be fake…right?

"Mother tried to kill herself as well but it was always through overdosing so it was easier to get it pumped out of her stomach at the hospital…." Miyuki stated turning to stare out the window again.

"Is that why your father and you came back now…because she succeeding in killing herself so your father was free to come back to me?" Ryoma asked swallowing back his own pain. After all, Miyuki had told him that her mother's death was what caused them both to come back a few days ago when she first came to the school.

Miyuki sighed a bit and played with the plaits in her gray skirt and the hem of her gray uniform-top as she considered answering Ryoma or not. Suddenly, as if deciding, she looked up and nodded. "Yes…she technically died to me…she died a long time ago but sadly for my dad, she's still very much alive and living with her boyfriend in England." Miyuki said with a frown.

"But-"

"Shimatta!" Miyuki said suddenly looking at the clock " I forgot my dad is outside waiting for me!" looking for her schoolbag she was surprised that Ryoma was the one running towards the parking lot and not her. "Se-sensei?"

Obviously Ryoma ignored her and everyone else who saw him running towards the parking lot searching for Fuji. He didn't even pause when Serene saw him and called out for him…instead he immediately spotted the slender figure of Fuji leaning against his car and marched up to him. It seemed Fuji was quite surprised to see him as well since his face showed his surprise. Taking a breath, Ryoma decided to confirm the story was to check…grabbing Fuji's hand, he turned his hand, palm side up and looked for any indication of a scar where his wrist was. Ryoma swallowed as he saw the faint line of a scar that indicated the truth in Miyuki's words…the truth in everything.

"Ryoma…" Fuji started but was stopped when Ryoma's angered golden eyes stared at him accusingly.

"Baka!" Ryoma said fiercely before pulling Fuji into a tight hug as if he was afraid to lose Fuji.

"Ryo-"

"Why…Syuusuke…tell me why this happened…" Ryoma muttered against his shoulder.

"Please don't tell him…" 

Fuji's shook his head out of his thoughts. " But I thought…"

"Tell me," Ryoma demanded.

"But I already told you how I ended up married to her." Fuji said brushing Ryoma's cheek softly.

"Why didn't you tell me that night then? Why did you let me misunderstand?" Ryoma asked with a frown.

"I…" Fuji started.

"_HOW MUCH?" Ryoma growled out._

_Fuji swallowed as he wanted to shout out his love for Ryoma but that shadow that stood behind a couple of trees and Ryoma begged him not to…pleaded and he couldn't…couldn't tell him the truth._

'_I love you…' Fuji thought desperately as he spoke. _

"_As much as the moon…for the moon represents my heart…" Fuji said softly._

"You?" Ryoma asked urging him on.

"I couldn't…" Fuji said softly staring at their joined hands now as if this was all a figment of his imagination. "My hands were tied…"

"But-"

"Ahem…"

Both turned to face Serene who had an emotionless face on at the moment as she advanced towards the both of them.

"Serene…" Ryoma started before she held a hand up to stop his explanation.

"Ryoma…I'm going to trust you and our many years together….I have to take a trip to Kyoto from tomorrow till the 25th…after that we'll fly to LA to spend Christmas with your parents right?" Serene asked ignoring the presence of Fuji completely.

"I…"

"I CAN trust you right?" Serene asked taking one of his hand and looked into Ryoma's eyes intently.

Ryoma swallowed hard…

xXx

Miyuki went to sit in the car silently as she watched the scene in front of the car with hope. Everything was up to them right now…she could nothing more…reveal nothing more without hurting her father too bad.

"Dad…" Miyuki whispered watching the sadness flash quickly across his mask and her heart skipped a beat. "Dad…" Miyuki whispered urgently, "Don't give up…"

"Why did you name me Miyuki with the characters for 'Silent Snow' dad?" Miyuki asked sitting on her father's lap while he worked.

"_Because I wanted to say so much yet I ended up giving him such a complex answer that I hope he'd understand…"_

"_Eh?" Miyuki asked looking at her dad's distant face._

"_The name's pretty right?" Fuji asked instead._

"_Aa..."_

"_That's why…" Fuji said with a smile before patting his daughter on the head._

"Dad…" Miyuki whispered staring at the unmoving scene in front of her.

* * *

A/N: Well that completes 12 pages worth of angst and drama XD 

Review as usual please! I'd really appreciate one from all of you…unless you're going to be lazy and not :(


	7. True Feelings

A/N: Well here's the next chapter and get ready to be left in another shock. This and the next chapter will be short but afterwards it'll get longer. :) Please review and of course I'll update again!

* * *

Akazy-Well then, welcome to the world of my crazy min at work! I do hope you continue to read!

CrystalKitteN-MeW- Uh, don't worry, it just seemed to go good so I added it but I have quirks with suicide as well XP

Selyn- Of course she'll fight! She spent 11 years with him! XD Sakuno gets her piece in the story soon…not now but soon! -Sighs-

I just can't stop twisting plots and making all my reviewers crazy! But the unexpected can be good! XD

Lonely Rain- Well you've already made your decision not to like her XD Oh well, we'll see if you continue to hate her or feel sorry for her.

catmum56- I'm glad your enjoying it because the drama is on the rise now!

MARYLOVER- Yes drama… that's the most thrilling thing about it! XD Miyuki is, as you say very perceptive because she has faced a life where she had to realize her parents were not happily married and she was a weapon. Yes, Miyuki is not playing cupid! I can assure everyone who thinks that she is playing cupid that she really isn't because when she asks Ryoma in the beginning if he knew anything about her father's lover, she was showing concern over her father's unhappiness that she experienced once. She just wants her father to be happy because she, as the child of Sakuno and him felt she is a barrier.

Serene is actually taking a trip to clear her mind about the whole situation and in asking if she can trust Ryoma, she wants to know if she ever mattered to him the way he mattered to her in the years they spent together.

Well they always did say woman were more perspective then man in relationships. She's rarely in the manga/anime but I really wanted to showcase her strengths and stubbornness a bit in this story as well.

Kawaii-Aikurushii-Kitsune- Yep! They finally understand each other a bit more now. Although trouble ensues when Ryoma is compromised already!

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Well I can't say Serene will be evil. I just tried to think of someone who had her future set out before her then an old flame comes in and is now in dangr of losing her spot. XD Sakuno is definitely alive and will come in at one point in the story to explain her craziness. I haven't _yet _planned for a character death but that can always change. :D

ThrillPair- Well I think I would rather die then be stuck with a crazed women as well XD Miyuki's love for her father will be shown more as the story progresses.

abhorsen3-Well in her eyes Fuji coming back made everything complicated but what's life without the unexpected? XD I thought Ryoma and Fuji needed just a little scene to warm the story since it hasn't been anything but bitterness and regrets lately. I'm glad you favor these because I actually thought many people might not like the slower pace and storyline like I'm doing now XP.

MysticBlood- Despite your resolve not to review for anything else at least you put in one review which makes me a lot happier than having none at all! :D

NDebN- I'm at the stage where I'm playing around with Sakuno's personality so I know a psycho Sakuno is hard to believe but in my small little world I think it can happen when one becomes to obsess with something. Serene still has a chance so there's no need to feel sorry for her …yet! Miyuki though, she had a hard time after finding out she was the barrier used to separate her father and Roma. She'll play big parts in the relationship from now on though. She's like a double-edged sword (Hint hint)

Pax Silva- I really did stop there but the good news is it continues from here!

munkyaround- Isn't it normal to be possessive when the one you're going to marry starts having second thoughts after so many years? XD the depth of her love will be showcased in future chapters but I'm not trying to create an OC to hate, just one to stand in the way for practical purposes.

* * *

**_The Moon Represents My Heart_**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. **AU**

* * *

**Chapter VI: ****True Feelings**

**Recap-**

"I CAN trust you right?" Serene asked taking one of his hand and looked into Ryoma's eyes intently.

Ryoma swallowed hard…

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**December 19**_

Ryoma didn't look at Fuji at all nor did he want to say 'don't trust me'. This was the woman who stood by him for eleven years… who loved him despite his moping, despite his cockiness and addictiveness to grape Pontas…the one who accepted him for all the good and bad that came with him. Yet on the other side stood the only person he'd probably ever truly love, the man he moped about since the day he left, the man who had just proven how much he loved him.

Despite how trusting Serene looked and how uncomfortable he knew Fuji was feeling, he felt his heart was in a chaotic mess and his brain was in turmoil… he was in no way ready at the moment to make a final decision.

"He'll be faithful so you don't have to worry…" Fuji answered for all of their sake. " I never meant to get in between the two of you…"

Leaving Ryoma in shock and Serene in disbelief, Fuji turned and opened his car door ready to retreat. It was true he wanted Ryoma; it was true he loved Ryoma more than his life but it wasn't true that he wanted to become a barrier between Ryoma and his fiancée…it wasn't true that he was deliberately placing himself here to burden them. He wasn't as low as that!

It took a while but Serene was a bit shocked that this was his answer and she was even more hurt when Ryoma ignored her and ran after Fuji. Could he not see that she was still here?

"Syuusuke!" Ryoma said standing in front of Fuji so he couldn't shut the door. He looked at Fuji almost painfully that Syuusuke had once more pushed him away.

"Why did you say that?" Ryoma asked softly, not allowing him to get in the car nor close the car door.

"Ryoma…I would never willingly abandon you…" Fuji promised drawing Ryoma into his arms this time. He needed Ryoma to understand that he'd never leave him willingly. "But our situation is very difficult right now and I don't want to destroy anything you have with her…"

"I don't understand…" Ryoma said softly into Fuji's shirt as Fuji held him tighter against him.

"I don't want it to be because of me…" Fuji said lifting Ryoma's face to look at him fully. A deep sadness could be seen between the two of them now…they held many burdens in their hearts. " I haven't divorced Sakuno yet Ryoma…"

xXx

_**Momoshiro residence**_

"It's been a while Tezuka-senpai!" Momoshiro said with a smile, " what brings you here today?"

"I have a family trip I have to take to Kyoto." Tezuka admitted right off the bat. " but I'm worried about the situation here."

"Situation?" Momoshiro asked accepting a cup of tea from his wife. He looked at Tezuka's unreadable expression a frowned lightly. "What situation is that?"

"The one with Fuji and Echizen." Tezuka said thanking An briefly before turning his attention back to Momoshiro. "It worries me that Echizen may not give Fuji the time to explain his actions."

"I highly doubt there's anything to tell Tezuka-senpai! He's a bastard for leaving Echizen like that!"

"I doubt Fuji would've came back now if he didn't have a valid reason Momoshiro." Tezuka said sternly. "I believe he should be given a chance to explain his actions without us judging him as well."

"But he-"

"I think he can justify his own actions." Tezuka interrupted Momoshiro. "I know we all saw Echizen's pain but…" Tezuka sighed as he closed his eyes briefly in thought. "If you've already seen Fuji, you should know how broken he is right now compared to the one who left sixteen years ago."

"He's just feeling guilty!" Momoshiro defended his stand, " Moping like that won't get sympathy from me!"

"I've personally talked to him and I believe I made a valid judgment when he asked to be able to speak to Echizen…whatever has held him back till now must be gone." Tezuka stated firmly. "I want you to see both view and monitor them…I'd ask Oishi but he's not available at this current time. "

"So your only choice was to ask me to see from a different point of view for a while?"

"Aa…" Tezuka said. "Despite what you may hold against Fuji, I hope you won't judge him until you hear his side of the story. He's hurting…and I'm not sure how to help him."

" I understand what your saying Tezuka-san." An interrupted from where she sat on the sofa. " Even if my short-sided husband can't see, I saw that day he politely came to ask for Echizen's phone number."

" I hope you'll also watch them then An-san." Tezuka said with a hint of sincerity.

"Aa…I can see he was hurting, just as bad as Ryoma and if It goes like I think it will, they will realize miscommunication and bitterness is all that stands in their way."

"I believe it was also that after talking to them both." Tezuka confirmed.

"Well…" Momoshiro sighed, seeing that they both have teamed up on him. "I suppose even Tensai's can make mistakes… BUT it's so unlike a Tensai to not be able to get out for sixteen years!"

"When it involves the people you love darling, everything is on emotion not logic." An said with a pat to her husband shoulder, "Don't worry Tezuka-san…we will makes sure nothing to drastic happens."

"Thank you."

xXx

_**Fuji Residence**_

"Otou-san?"

Fuji snapped out of his thoughts as he looked at his daughter sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework.

"What is it?" Fuji asked with a small smile. He was a bit disappointed that after Ryoma and he worked out a time limit to wait things out that they had missed the movie and only went out for a quick early dinner before heading home.

"Are you considering going back to Echizen-sensei?" Miyuki asked straightforwardly. Her blank amber eyes stared at him intently as she waited for an answer.

Fuji sighed and stood from where he was sitting. Rounding the sofa he had been sitting on, he pulled the chair next to her out and sat down next to his daughter. "Why do you ask Miyuki?"

As far back as Fuji could remember, his daughter was never the selfish type, she took what she was given, she spoke when she felt it necessary and gave him no trouble at all. Even though all that was true though, he wondered if she was burdened inside by the strange marriage her mother and he was having. If there were one thing he didn't regret through all these years, it'd have to be Miyuki. She was definitely the light in the sixteen years of hell he went through.

"I…I just want you to be happy." Miyuki admitted with a soft smile.

Fuji eyes opened softly in surprise that his daughter was thinking of him as much as he was thinking of her and he pulled her into his arms softly. " Miyuki…"

xXx

_**England**_

"Flight 32563 is now boarding from London, England to Tokyo Japan"

Sakuno walked quickly towards the gate as she pulled on her sunglasses. She had a playful smile on her lips as she handed the flight attendant her ticket and went into the plane.

'I won't let you win Sy-uu-su-ke!' Sakuno thought happily as he looked at a picture of her beloved who she had left in Japan years ago.

"Soon I'll be back for you to sweetheart…as soon as I get rid of extra baggage that should've died…"

* * *

A/N: yes you may yell at whine at me for a short chapter but at least I updated! Please review and we'll get the story rolling along! Hopefully in time for my 3rd anniversary!


	8. Sakuno's Return

A/N: Thank you to those that took the time to read and review it. Hopefully this chapter will provoke some to review and demand answers.

**Happy 3****rd**** anniversary to me on fanfic this year! I can't believe it has already been that long but it has. At this time Last year, I was writing 'The Risks We Take' and now I'm loaded with ideas and new stories.**

**I'm very happy to have come so far with the Thrill crowd and am extremely happy I'm not letting the Thrill fandom die at all even if the manga had finished. The only slight problem from here on out for a few months is that fact that I might be getting a job and becoming bogged with my life outside writing so release dates may not always go the way I pre-planned. If it gets to be too bad though, I'll just ask that everyone check out the story randomly and I may just have updated. :)**

**Besides that problem, I'm having lots of troubles with my muses at the moment. They've decided to abandon me :( Yep, they've given up on me recently so it would really help to have extra encouragement from all you reviewers. Other than that, I'm very appreciative towards the reviewers who take time out of their day to read and review and offer critique, thoughts, or encouragement to me. It helps me connect with everyone and it definitely does wonders to encourage me to sit and write so THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Plus I have that bet with a fellow friend that I can rack up 100 reviews from all my releases! Help me prove her to her that readers are reviewers, not just readers!**

* * *

Selyn- Well, I see it as a nice change since we've seen other authors write Sakuno in stronger positions as well, I thought I should try my own Sakuno…only as a villain this time though XD Evil Sakuno with a gentle façade seemed interesting to me at the time I was planning this story.

JP**- **Well I hope you enjoyed all the drama up to this point and continue to do so because it's not the end!

**Takari love-** But isn't it just almost crazy to see a crazy Sakuno hiding behind a shy, sweet façade? Either that or I'm just too imaginative! XD More doses of heartache and confusion coming your way though

CrystalKitteN-MeW- Blame my crazed mind for thinking even the sweetest person can be the scariest! XD As for the "extra" baggage that will always be revealed later. Well no matter how you look at it right now, someone who doesn't deserve to get hurt IS going to get hurt. What most people see is only one side of love and it's my mission to expose the many kinds that exist…and all the form they come in. But yes, overall it is my 3rd year on the site.

fan girl 666- hm…. Lately I've been seeing thar each of my chapters now end with cliffies…is that a good thing or a bad thing?

lilgurlanima- I don't think she'll kill the one she loves…unwanted daughter and husband can go though. XD

MARYLOVER- I try to reveal something new each chapter so everyone's always on the rollercoaster. XD Yeah… Serene got a bad deal when Fuji came back and Ryoma has decided that chapter of his life isn't closed yet so she'll just have to go with the flow now. Sakuno makes an official appearance in this chapter so you'll all get to see her at her best.

**Super-Special-Aesome Pirate**- Well if you're familiar with my stories, I love twisting storylines so my stories can be unique. It's amazing to me how many stories can come from 1 basis and a whole lot of different POV's. I love to show the many views on one story so people can get a feel of how all the characters feel.

Kawaii-Aikurushii-Kitsune- Yep! That's exactly what she's planning to do!

**XxSisz4evaxx-** I hope that's not for the worst though. You'll just be lucky I updated all my stories today XD

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Sakuno's boyfriend gets to make an appearance in the story as well… but that's later. He'll be in to make the complicated more complicated…so let's leave that for a bit later. It'd be nice to see Sakuno go to jail but it's too bad no one but Fuji and Miyuki knows about her twisted behavior.

I-Kirahates2loose- I suppose you're not the only one who wanted to do that and yes Serene deserves some sympathy as she waited so long only to find she may never have the man she waited for.

abhorsen3-Well knowing only the story from Miyuki and Fuji, there will be events happening of course that will change everything. Serene is an obstacle that Ryoma will, sooner or later, have to decide if he wants in the way. :)

LOL, if Sakuno died in a plane crash then the only thing separating them would be Serene and their pride.

munkyaround- Tezuka, for this story's purpose, is a neutral character. I don't hate him for him to always be the pillar in-between. XD Don't worry about Sakuno being too OOC either. I know she may seem VERY OOC right now but when she's in the story…you probably won't even notice that she was OOC to begin with.

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm.**_ AU_**

* * *

**Chapter VIII: ****Sakuno's Return**

**Recap-**

Sakuno walked quickly towards the gate as she pulled on her sunglasses. She had a playful smile on her lips as she handed the flight attendant her ticket and went into the plane.

'I won't let you win Sy-uu-su-ke!' Sakuno thought happily as he looked at a picture of her beloved who she had left in Japan years ago.

"Soon I'll be back for you to sweetheart…as soon as I get rid of extra baggage that should've died…"

**Tokyo, Japan **

**Winter**

_**December 20th**_

Ryoma stared at the snow that continued to drop slowly onto the windowsill and sighed loudly. Pressing his forehead against the cold window, Ryoma closed his eyes and assessed life with Serene and Syuusuke.

"I don't know…" Ryoma mumbled out after a few minutes…he had been here for an hour and still came up with the same conclusion. He would be an ass if he told Serene that she waited eleven years for nothing because he still loved his ex…. But then he'd be a bastard if he lied that he was no longer attracted to Syuusuke and married Serene with that thought…

'What do I do?' Ryoma thought burying his head within his arms in frustration. He loved Syuusuke but then there was Serene…he loved Serene but not as much as Syuusuke.

"What am I going to do?" Ryoma groaned out to his empty apartment. The answer, to Ryoma's misery, was right in front and he knew that he couldn't avoid the fact…he was going to have to tell his fiancée that he was still in love with the ex. He couldn't spare her from pain…

xXx

_**Hiyozako residence**_

Serene stared out her window as she packed the last of her small bag. She never regretted her years with Ryoma but with the latest incident she had a sinking feeling that eleven years and a ring wouldn't save her relationship. Letting out a small sigh, Serene glanced at her engagement ring and felt the mixed emotions churn within her. She didn't realize tears had pooled and were spilling until a warm drop landed on her finger next to the ring.

'I'm going to lose him aren't I?' Serene asked herself as she took a shaky breath to try to calm herself.

Thinking back on all their years though, she had been the one to like him, to love him first…he was just going with the flow so she shouldn't expect more than she did since day one right? He had, for as long as could remember, kept a part of his heart out of reach…but she thought time would open him…time would give his heart to her…but it didn't seem like her hope was coming true.

"You have to keep fighting…believing!" Serene chided herself softly as she looked across her bed to the mirror where her amber eyes looked to emotional. She couldn't understand him sometimes…She had given everything but it seemed it wasn't enough…it couldn't be enough because she wasn't the one. Standing to distract her thoughts, she seriously wanted t slap him for never truly seeing her…or did he see her? Yet it didn't matter at the moment either…because she just loved him.

"Enough! You're his fiancée! You're his future! And YOU are going on a trip to see your in-laws!" Serene chided herself as she pulled her hair into a messy bun. Walking towards the bathroom, She tried to smile and lie to herself momentarily but somewhere deep in her heart she felt that he was already leaving her…

xXx

_**Ryoma's Apartment**_

_**December 20th**_

_**9:30 PM**_

"Syuu-"

"I'm sorry about yesterday… I didn't know where to find your fiancée and apologize…. so I thought-"

Ryoma just looked at Fuji who tried not to look Ryoma as he stood shivering from the cold outside his apartment.

"Syuusuke…" Ryoma started.

"Yes?" Fuji asked looking at Ryoma fully for the first time since Ryoma opened the door.

Ryoma didn't speak again as dragged Fuji inside and pressed his warm lips against Fuji's chilled ones. He expected Fuji to be shocked but he didn't expect Fuji to return his kiss with a rougher one. Wrapping one arm around Fuji, Ryoma managed to close and lock the front door with his free arm and not break the intense kiss they were sharing. Ryoma's guess was right…the passion between them had never died; it was very much alive and burning.

"Ryoma…" Fuji murmured as he pushed his hands through Ryoma's soft hair to cup his face lovingly.

Ryoma didn't answer as he turned his head slightly and pressed a soft kiss into Fuji's palm. He watched as Fuji's eyes snapped open and the sadden blue eyes stared at his loving gesture as if he didn't deserve it.

It seemed as Fuji wanted to say something but he ended up not saying anything as he pressed his lips against Ryoma's forehead and just held Ryoma close. Although Ryoma felt content to rest in his arms like this, he wanted more…he wanted Fuji. Raising his head, he pulled Fuji's lips to his and wrapped an arm loosely around Fuji's waist encouraging him to continue his attack.

"Ryoma… we should slow down…" Fuji said trying to get a hold of his lust. " We need to…."

"I know.' Ryoma said leading Fuji to his sofa. " It's too fast…but…it's been so long…"

" Ryoma…" Fuji said pulling him down to the sofa. "I know it's been long but I don't want to just rush this…we have time, we have each other…"

"You'll stay with me then?" Ryoma asked looking at Fuji'

"Ryoma…your fiancée…"

"I need to tell her that I still love you…I can't marry her."

"Ryoma…" Fuji started feeling the weight of his fiancée's sorrow now as well. He had come between her happiness to fix Ryoma and his own. " Let's give it more time…"

"Time will still make me say the same thing…will you stay with me tonight?" Ryoma asked leaning against Fuji.

"I will…" Fuji said softly against Ryoma's warm head. "But we should take things a bit more slowly and not rush ourselves into this."

Ryoma sighed, " If that's what you want…"

"It is…" Fuji said with a small smile, "I want you to be happy…even if in the end it's not with me."

"It's been you for all these years and you still think like that?" Ryoma teased lightly.

"I just don't want to force you into anything…after all… I hurt you Ryoma…even if I hadn't wanted to I hurt you a lot…" Fuji said softly looking at Ryoma a bit sadly.

"It'll take time for me to fully forgive you for that…but Syuusuke…"

"I understand…" Fuji said with a small smile. "That's the only reason why we're not in the bedroom right now."

"I thought it was strange that you were refusing…" Ryoma responded with a small smile.

"I…" Fuji just chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Ryoma tightly, "Let's just spend some time together…"

"What are you going to do about Sakuno and you?" Ryoma asked with a bit of a frown.

"We're definitely getting divorced…there was no love from the beginning and to stay married is to only destroy ourselves…" Fuji said emotionlessly.

Ryoma sighed a bit as he buried his head into Fuji's warmth. " You better take responsibility!"

"For what?" Fuji asked glancing down at Ryoma.

"For turning me so emo!" Ryoma said with a frown. "I've never felt so broken, so desperate so-"

"I love you," Fuji merely said and silenced Ryoma with a soft kiss. All that mattered at the moment was that they were together…

'Everything else can come later….'

xXx

**Momoshiro's Apartment **

**December 24th**

**5:00 PM**

" It's only fair you tell me how you feel as well!" Ryoma said with a sigh as they sat near the fireplace while Miyuki helped An take care of Ayano and Takaya. Momoshiro had stepped out to get more food for the small gathering that they were having.

"Ryoma…so demanding…" Syuusuke murmured with a small chuckle.

"Syuusuke…"

"I love you so much Ryo-chan…" Fuji whispered pressing a small kiss onto the side of Ryoma's cheek discreetly since no one knew that they were together yet.

"I want to go home…" Ryoma said slyly.

"I do too but duty comes first." Fuji said softly caressing Ryoma's cheek lightly. " Besides, you'll be on your way to LA tomorrow until 2nd."

"That's exactly why WE need more PRIVATE time…" Ryoma said with a small pout.

"Something wrong?" An questioned with a raised brow after seeing the pout on Ryoma's face when she came closer.

"Not really…" Ryoma said with a small smile.

"Miyuki-chan… bring Takaya over here will you?" An asked tidying the play pen for her young son.

"Hai!" Miyuki said carrying little Takaya over to his mother.

"Ne Ryoma…" Fuji said staring out the window at the snow that blanketed the ground.

"What?" Ryoma asked getting up from where he sat to go stand by the window.

"You should…go through with it…" Fuji said softly.

"Through with what?" Ryoma asked a bit confused at what Fuji was suggesting.

"Your wedding." Fuji said with a light smile.

"Why?" Ryoma asked with a frown. " why would I go through with it?"

"Because… because Serene can give you kids…Ryoma…I can't give you that…"

"I don't care if you can't… we'll have each other and Miyuki… if you want another, we can adopt! But I won't make us miserable… I won't do what you did." Ryoma said stubbornly.

"But Ryoma…"

"It seems like you two figured out what you mean to each other after so many years…"An said noticing how they were holding hands and looking very serious.

"Somewhat…" Fuji said with a small smile.

"IS something wrong?" An asked knowing clearly that whatever they had been talking about was making the both of them distress.

"I'm back!" Momoshiro called out coming in with food.

"Dada!' Ayano called out as she ran towards her father happily.

Miyuki, who had been clearly watching her father and Echizen-sensei had also sensed and seen the distress and sadness between them. She knew whatever was between them hadn't all cleared up but with the new tension, Miyuki feared the worse at the moment.

"Otou-san…" Miyuki interrupted but once more, the doorbell rang and interrupted the conversation.

"Who could that be?" An wondered. " We're all here…"

Miyuki stiffened as she saw who it was when An opened the door. The school nurse appearing on Momoshiro-san's doorstep was the least of her worries now… the person next to the nurse did more then shake her… it terrified her!

"Serene-chan! I though you wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning then Ryoma and you were straight off to LA?"

"I came back earlier than expected because I wanted to spend Christmas Eve with the rest of you." Serene said with a smile. " on my way here, I met someone who I'm sure Miyuki-chan and Fuji-san would be happy to see."

"Who?" Fuji asked moving away from the window and fireplace to see who it was. He didn't make it halfway there before Miyuki gripped his shirt tightly and shook her head wordlessly.

"What is it sweetie?" Fuji asked looking at Miyuki whose face was quite pale.

"That was so mean of you to leave me in England A-anata…"

It was Ryoma's turn to worry as he saw the surprise on Fuji's face turn cold to emotionless as he straightened to see his timid wife and her small smile as she walked forward. Sakuno didn't look too different at all from all the years since Fuji and she had went to England…overall, she was still the same "innocent" looking woman.

"Sakuno-chan?" An said with wonder.

"An-san…. you've married Momo-senpai?" Sakuno asked with a brighter smile. "If I would've known I'd have brought a present for the kids and you but it seems my husband has forgotten about his busy wife id England." Sakuno said with a small pout to Fuji.

"Did you forget Fuji-senpai?" Momoshiro asked with a bright smile to his kohai whom he hadn't seen in the longest time.

"How could I forget…" Fuji asked with a strained smile. He tried not to look at Ryoma or the fact that his fiancée had latched herself onto Ryoma's arm as Sakuno was doing to his.

"I've been in town for a couple days but I decided to visit my parents and grandma before finding my daughter and husband." Sakuno said accepting some coffee from An.

"Is that so… you didn't mention your wife was in town Fuji…" An said with a slight frown.

"Actually, I haven't told him I was coming…" Sakuno said with small smile. " It was a surprise…I was headed to their apartment but was in luck when I ran into Serene-chan and she told me they'd be here."

"Well…lucky you!" An said with her own small smile, "Or else you would've froze outside their apartment waiting for them."

"True…. It has been a while Ryoma-kun…" Sakuno said focusing a wavering smile to Ryoma now. The hurt of rejection so many years ago seemed to still show in her amber eyes.

"It has…" Ryoma said almost sympathizing with her unreturned feelings. 'If she's really like Syuusuke and Miyuki says she is, THIS is good acting.' Ryoma thought silently as he focused back on Serene's arm that looped through his. He figured that Syuusuke would be feeling just as awkward as he was since they were both in the same situation now.

"I'm tired Ryoma…" Serene said with a soft smile, "Can we go home and relax for tomorrow's flight?"

"I…"

"That's fine with me," Momoshiro said with a small smile, "if you two want to relax a bit, go on ahead and we'll just hang out with Fuji-senpai and Sakuno-chan."

"I…" Ryoma started again glancing at Fuji but the grim expression on his face and the uncertainty on Miyuki's told him it was best Serene and he leaves so they all can sort out the new incident in their lives. "Then we'll get going…."

"Aww…Uncle Ryoma's leaving?" Ayano asked her mother who nodded.

"I'll be back with presents when I come back okay?" Ryoma said with a small smile to little Ayano before he said goodbye to Momoshiro and Fuji.

"Have a nice break sensei…" Miyuki merely said as she bowed a bit to Ryoma on his way out.

"I'm sure your father will figure it all out Miyuki…" Ryoma whispered to her. "It'll be okay soon…"

"Un…" Miyuki said with a half-attempted smile on her face for his sake. " Merry Christmas and Daddy wanted me to tell you happy birthday…"

"Oh…" Ryoma said glancing at Fuji who ha busied himself playing with Takaya.

"He also wanted me to give you this…" Miyuki whispered placing something into his hands discreetly.

"Thank you Miyuki…I'll bring you something as well." Ryoma said with a small smile and straightened to see Serene waiting by the door.

"Have a good night," An said as she came forward to give Serene and Ryoma a brief hug before closing the door behind him. After the party, An would have to hit her husband on the head for even suggesting that Serene and Ryoma could leave…As for now, she couldn't help but wonder why Miyuki and Fuji had suddenly lost their cheerfulness. She hadn't known Fuji was still married…she had thought he was divorced but by the looks of this new situation, it seemed she was wrong.

xXx

**Ryoma's Apartment**

"Did you know about her? Did you know he was still married?" Serene asked as she handed a cup of coffee to Ryoma.

"I did…" Ryoma admitted.

"Yet you still…you and he still…" Serene was shocked that Ryoma was approving adultery.

"They're not in love," Ryoma stated bluntly. "Tomorrow's trip also doesn't need to happen…"

"So your saying we're through…you're going to wait for a guy who's already married and has a kid?" Serene asked after a long moment of silence after Ryoma mercilessly said that.

"I love him…and love know no boundaries…" Ryoma said with a small smirk. "I'm sorry but I can't go through with us…"

"But we promised your parents-"

"I'll explain it to them…" Ryoma clarified with a sigh, " I'm sorry you had to wait so long only to be disappointed…"

"Ryoma won't you re-consider this?" Serene asked with frustration clear in her voice. Her own eyes now filled with tears of anger, frustration and sadness.

"I did…a million time and it's still the same answer every time." Ryoma said looking at her with regret-filled eyes now, "My heart won't change…"

"Ryoma…"

"It's set Serene…"

"So you'll throw away all these years for a memory and two weeks?" Serene asked.

"I told you from the beginning that I may never be able to love you and you accepted that condition ddn't you?" Ryoma asked staring at the coffee table now.

"I did…so will you please grant me one last wish at least?" Serene asked shakily as she tried to compose herself despite the tears that were flowing from her eyes now.

"I will if I can," Ryoma said putting his hand in hers. She didn't deserve the blow he'd just given her but she definitely didn't deserved to be tied down by him either!

"I'd like for us to take this trip as a couple for the last time…if by the 1st, I still mean nothing to you then we'll go our separate ways…" Serene said looking at Ryoma with a shaky smile.

"Aa…" Ryoma agreed as he pulled her into his arms. He was being one of the biggest bastards right now…but one day she'd thank him for not letting her experience a loveless marriage.

Serene allowed him to hold her although she wanted to curse and shout and slap him out of it. Instead of doing all that, she cried…for all the years she believed, for the pain in her chest, and the relief that even if he didn't choose her, he had chosen. She may never understand the ways this man could make such illogical mistakes, but she had given her his whole heart and now that he had ripped it all away…she had no one to blame but herself. She should've known that no matter how many times he said he loved her, it'd never compare to him saying it when he meant it with his heart, mind, and soul.

Sobs wrecked throughout her body but Serene never felt so free since the day she met and fell in love with Ryoma. He was right…love knew no boundaries…that's why she had fallen for him when he'd never have known her if she didn't pursue him relentlessly. She had no regrets now as well…because she had given her all and she had no clue, no hint if he'd ever return it. The relationship, the depth of it all, was mostly from her but everything…even her heart had depended on him. Even if she wanted to hate him…curse at him now, kill him even…she couldn't. Rather, she wouldn't because no matter what transpired, what decision he made, she still loved him…unconditionally; she still loved him.

xXx

**Fuji's Apartment**

"Not bad…" Sakuno said looking around the apartment, "It feels just like home here too…so _bonding_ don't you think honey?"

"You can stop pretending now." Fuji said emotionlessly as he slid out of his jacket and kissed Miyuki on the forehead as he pushed her to her room.

"How could you say I was pretending?" Sakuno asked innocently. " Why are you trying to ruin our relationship?"

"There never was and will never be a relationship between us!" Fuji said sternly out to Sakuno who looked a bit frightened before a smile crossed her face.

"Then how do you plan to live for the rest of our lives?" Sakuno asked tauntingly now.

"We're getting a divorce," Fuji stated.

"Tsk Tsk…" Sakuno said sitting on the couch gracefully, "Have you told Ryoma about everything already then?"

Fuji felt the familiar sick twisting in his stomach as he watched her innocent amber eyes look at him with no sign of the shy, stuttering beauty left. " No I haven't.."

Fuji closed his eyes momentarily as he felt her get up and wrap an arm around his waist as she pressed subtly against him.

"Then there won't be a divorce…. right A-na-ta?" Sakuno whispered with a crazed edge before letting out a small giggle.

Fuji struggled against himself to stand still and not strike against her…he had forgotten she still held that card in her hands, which therefore placed her gun at his head.

xXx

**December 25th**

Irked endlessly by the happenings of last night, An waited till her husband left with the two kids for a roll in the snow before she flipped through their directory and found the phone number she needed for some answers. There must be a reason why their was such a drift in the Fuji family when Sakuno showed up. In An's eyes, she was a perfect mother, fretting over Miyuki's outfit in this cold weather, chiding Fuji for allowing their daughter to dress like that gently and she even conversed with them sweetly. She was a bit on the shy side and stuttered a bit when flustered but she was a total Angel….an angel Fuji and Miyuki seemed to not like at all! If Takeshi was right, this man who she'd call now knew more about the situation then they did…

'_Moshi moshi?'_

"Tezuka-san?"

* * *

A/N: Sorry if this sounded a bit rushed but I purposely flooded this chapter with drama so the next chapter can start connecting things from the past and present. Life has been a bit hectic so my next release date will be posted on my profile when I think of it. Review please :3


	9. Double Meaning

A/N: Nothing much to say in this chapters beginning besides to get ready and find out the full meaning of the title for the story and a better understanding of Fuji's stand.

(**IN BOLD IS A MESSAGE FOUND IN ALL MY LATEST CHAPTERS THAT GOT UPDATED, OTHERWISE IT HAS TO DO WITH THE CHAPTER)**

**Happy Birthday to Sanada and hello to everyone else! I have gone missing for a week and have found my way back! XD**

**Well, hopefully these releases will keep you all satisfied with your Thrill cravings and at bay from killing me because I have to admit now that I will be go 'missing' again after this update…perhaps even long enough to be called a mild hiatus. But to not spoil the mood or anything, I will PROMISE, despite how busy I am or whatever, I will be back sometime in June to spoil everyone with new chapters. Do review for me and if you must pester me to release or ask about anything, e-mail me because most likely I'll reply with an answer or maybe even a release date for my next mass release.**

**Well, enough of that, on with the story and you all know I love you! **

**Till next time**

**MoonExpressions**

* * *

-x-FantasyBlossom-x-- Oh I don't normally bash on Sakuno, not even in this fic will I overly bash on her… it's just for this stories purpose and a prompt that hit my head to create this story.

**Takari love-** Yes An is going to get to the bottom of it and Fuji has one more secret that Sakuno holds over his head.

laurices- By the end of this chapter you'll understand fully :)

shadowsteph- I'm glad they do or else I would've lost my touch XD

CrystalKitteN-MeW- Yes, it's been three years and Sakuno as a villain was quite interesting in my mind so I'm trying it. XD

Sakuno had her strong moment in 'Wet With Tears' so I wanted to try another perspective of her.

An may find out a little more but you have to remember, Tezuka doesn't know the whole story.

Skryrssb- Miyuki gets to play her part again soon and yep…it's been sixteen years since they seen and touched each other so just to spend some time together is already heaven for them. Fuji really had to hold himself back not to take that willing Ryoma.

It does take being a women or being in the same situation to understand Serene's tears. My friend had the same experience and she is very thankful to the guy that picked her up as Serene picked up Ryoma because he showed her there was more to life and the guy had also started moving her time again. The good thing is that he said he never regretted loving her the way he did because even if he didn't end up with her, he felt helping her move on and spending time with her was enough to hold as a good memory.

catmum56- Yep, he finally said it and although we feel bad for her now everyone can understand the many kinds of love happening right now right? Sakuno will get what she needs soon as well.

fan girl 666- hmm…well then I hope you won't mind if there are more cliffs in the future.

lilgurlanima- What Tezuka knows will be revealed soon. Which, I admit, isn't a lot.

**XxSisz4evaxx-** It'll be updated soon again so look forward to it.

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Sakuno's cards will be revealed soon so wait for that and Serene will eventually move on.

abhorsen3-It's always too good to be true with me XD

suprises wil always be happening so don't worry overly much about not receiving one because it will happen! The secret does have to do a parent but that'll come later.

munkyaround- Sakuno knows how to play XP but do continue to read about this complicated love they are all having!

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. AU

* * *

**Chapter IX: ****Double Meaning**

**Recap-**

"Then there won't be a divorce…. right A-na-ta?" Sakuno whispered with a crazed edge before letting out a small giggle.

Fuji struggled against himself to stand still and not strike against her…he had forgotten she still held that card in her hands, which therefore placed her gun at his head.

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**December 25**__**th**_

Fuji sighed as he stared out the window…he was pretty sure by now Ryoma was on his way to LA…he was losing Ryoma again…because of Sakuno. Touching the glass pane with a sigh, he ignored the numbness that traveled through his hand from the loss of heat against the cool glass. It was nothing…nothing compared to the numbness he felt yesterday when Sakuno waltzed back into his life.

'Tell me its all a dream… tell me it's not real…' Fuji pleaded to the grayish sky. It was, of course, to no anvil because he KNEW it was real, he knew it was happening, and he also knew who was on the other side of the door.

"Otou-san…"

Fuji whipped his head to the door and attempted a smile at his daughter. She looked clearly in distress and worried for him.

"Miyuki… is something wrong?" Fuji asked ushering his daughter to his side.

"She's complaining about breakfast…. so she's cooking." Miyuki confided in her father with a frown. "She's being a pain already…"

"I'm sorry…" Fuji said placing a hand on his daughter's head lovingly.  
"It's not your fault though," Miyuki muttered before hugging her dad tightly.

"Un…" Fuji merely muttered and stood. "Come on… we'll make our own breakfast and go watch a movie okay?"

"Un!" Miyuki said with a smile and followed her dad out of his room. She was happy her father was making an attempt to ignore her mother's existence so she shouldn't bring down his mood by noticing her.

'For otou-san…' Miyuki silently promised.

xXx

_**Momoshiro's Apartment **_

_**December 25th**_

**6:40 AM**

_"An-san?"_

"Hai…" An said into the receiver, "I'd like to ask you a question since I don't know what to think…"

"_What is it?"_

"Yesterday, Takeshi and I invited Fuji-san and Echizen-san to have Christmas dinner with us and it was going along just fine until Serene-chan showed up with Sakuno-chan. After that, Fuji-san distanced himself and Miyuki-chan looked extremely sad to see her mother… I wonder if you know anything about this…" An said with a frown as she reminisced last night's disaster.

"_I'm afraid I myself, don't know the whole story An-san…. from what I know is that Fuji and Sakuno are not happily married or in love."_

"Really?" An said with a bit of surprise apparent in her voice. "But Takeshi said that Fuji married her willingly and left Ryoma-kun."

"_I'm not exactly sure how their marriage happened but knowing Fuji for as long as I did, I knew he didn't marry Sakuno or leave Echizen willingly… I'm sorry but I can't really help you…the one who knows the whole story would probably be Fuji himself."_

"I'm sure he does…" An said with a moment's pause to reorganized the information in her head. "Yesterday Sakuno seemed very happy and cheerful… no change of how I remember her." An confided in Tezuka. " She was a typical mother and wife worrying over Fuji and Miyuki-chan… so even if it was a loveless marriage, wouldn't Fuji at least treat her with respect?"

"_Like I said, I don't know all the details but I'm sure there's a valid reason as to why he's treating her like that. I haven't been able to pinpoint the problem but there's something strange going on in their relationship and I think it's something we all can't see…"_

"I see…. Thank you for your time Tezuka-san and enjoy your vacation…I'm sorry I intruded." An said softly.

"_It's no problem at all… but if you really want to know… I think his daughter might shed a little light on the situation."_

"Thank you for the suggestion… I think I'll try it." An said with a bright smile now. "Thank you again… bye."

"_Aa,"_

An hung up with a idea… an idea that needed to be put in action. "Yosh!" An said happily as she turned and saw her husband and kids in the living room looking at her.

"What?" An asked.

"Who was that?" Momoshiro asked suspiciously.

An frowned when she saw that look. Did he not trust her to make a phone call?

"My boyfriend," An said to spite him a bit; Serves him right for being extra suspicious.

"Kamio huh?" Momoshiro said with a fierce frown.

"Baka!" An announced hitting her husband on the head as she advanced to get her son. "I was just talking to Tezuka-san about Fuji."

"Oh…" Momoshiro said with an apologetic smile. "What about Fuji-senpai?"

"His mood with his wife yesterday…" An answered setting her son down in his playpen as she headed to the kitchen.

"So… what did he say?"

"He suggested that I talk to Miyuki about it… so I'm going to…today."

"Right now?" Momoshiro asked looking at the clock.

"Of course not!" An scoffed. "After breakfast!"

xXx

**Airplane **

**December 25th**

**8:00 AM**

Ryoma wondered what Fuji was doing at this very minute…perhaps breakfast? He suppressed a sigh as he stared out the window of the plane bound for LA. Serene and he had boarded the 4 AM plane and after four hours of non-stop flying and staring at the movie playing…he was bored.

'Syuusuke…' Ryoma thought with a slight frown. He wondered how he was holding up now that Sakuno had walked back into his life. He was divorced wasn't he?

"Ryoma…"

Ryoma blinked out of his thoughts and looked at the woman beside him.

"What is it?"

"Are you bored?" Serene asked after a long pause.

"Somewhat…" Ryoma admitted. It was no use lying to her when she knew him inside out.

"It was wrong of me to ask for time with you huh?" Serene asked softly staring at her hands.

"There is nothing wrong with wanting a closure." Ryoma interjected with a slight frown. "We can still be friends can't we?"

Serene nodded. "It'd be awkward for a while but gradually…. it'll be okay."

"I'm sorry…" Ryoma said placing a hand over hers lightly. "I should know best that time doesn't heal all wounds… and I'm the worst of all bastards to make you wait do long…"

"I chose to as I remember…" Serene said with an attempt to smile.

"Even still… I'm responsible as well." Ryoma said with a small sigh. "You must regret-"

"I don't regret anything." Serene cut in. " I may regret that I'm not the one who will stand by you through everything like I thought I'd be but I do not regret falling in love with you or coming this far with you."

"Why wouldn't you?" Ryoma asked searching her face. "Most women-"

"Baka… after all these years and you still don't know that I'm not like most women…" Serene said with a small pout although a smile was breaking through it. "I'm thankful I met you and experienced the love everyone talks of…I'm thankful I could save you to come this far."

"…"Ryoma felt no words come to him as he watched her brave a smile and not regret all the years he made her wait in hopes that may never be…he couldn't even find it in himself to say a simple 'thank you for pulling me out' now…it seemed like it simply wasn't enough to say just that.

xXx

**Fuji's Apartment **

**December 25th**

**9:00 AM**

"I'm bored…" Sakuno complained as she switched through the channels looking for anything to interest herself in. "I suppose I could practice my cooking skills."

"What for?" Miyuki said with a patient sigh, "You don't even cook for dad and me."

"I used to cook for you brat," Sakuno said with a perfect frown. "That was before you turned your back on me and followed your weak father."

"My father was very kind and loving towards me instead of a disastrous mother like you." Miyuki said without bothering to hide her dislike.

"Your father dared to turn you against me!" Sakuno asked with gasp.

"You're fake personality and evil ways turned me against you." Miyuki said standing from where she had been sitting. "Father and I are going out to watch a movie now, be useful and clean up after yourself."

Watching her father exit his room dressed, Miyuki glanced a bit towards the sink that was filled with her mother's plates she had made breakfast with. Suppressing a lengthy sentence from being spoken, she merely turned to follow her father out the door.

"Ready?" Fuji asked with a small smile.

"Aa…" Miyuki said with a smile. She could tell her father had a lot on his mind but she was determined to be a source of strength to him and not a burden.

"Otou-san….why don't you just tell Echizen-san everything so mother won't have anything to hold you down?" Miyuki asked not long after they headed towards her father's car.

"I can't Miyuki…" Fuji said with a sigh, "I don't want to get in-between his family."

"So it's okay to suffer for the rest of your life? It's okay to make Echizen-sensei miserable?"

"Who says he's miserable?" Fuji asked his daughter with a weary look.

"I think that he's never been quite as happy looking as yesterday night from all the days I've seen him." Miyuki said pointedly.

Her father didn't answer her but she didn't care... She just wanted to lay some facts out and hopefully she'd take his advice.

xXx

**Fuji's Apartment**

"I can't believe she had the guts to order me about in disdain!" Sakuno said with a scowl. "To think I gave birth to such a creature!"

Turning to stare out the window at the bustling streets where kids played in the snow and people were rushing back and forth to unknown places she suddenly felt a sense of jealously at having met Hiyozako-san. She was a ideal beauty who was quite witty like Syuusuke. She felt as if her past was stabbing at her heart once more as Ryoma had, once again found someone who she hated.

'Aa… but a women knows a women best….' Sakuno thought bitterly as she remembered the ride to Momoshiro's apartment quite clearly.

'_In other words, you are constantly burdening your husband and neglecting your daughter?'_

The Bitch!

She had so willingly spilled her horrible marriage only to have Hiyozako tell her that she was in the wrong? That she made the wrong choices!

With a sigh, Sakuno sat down and wondered how she'd eliminate both her husband and daughter.

"They are nuisances in my life…" Sakuno uttered softly to the empty apartment. "I'll just have to wait for _him." _

xXx

**4:00 PM**

An let out a long sigh as she hung up the phone again. It seemed Syuusuke and Miyuki had gone out and still hadn't appeared at home yet. Sakuno sounded a bit worried and she herself was a bit worried since Sakuno said they had left after breakfast and still, both of them wasn't back yet.

"What's with the sigh?" Momoshiro said walking to where his wife sat almost forlornly.

"They still aren't back and I was just getting a bit worried." An said leaning into her husband's arm as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Give it till tomorrow then…" Momoshiro said with a small sigh. "Honestly, you shouldn't even be digging into my senpai's life."

"If you cared even a bit about Ryoma-kun or your senpai you'd be helping me piece together the missing pieces." An accused her husband pointedly.

"Mou… you don't have to blame me like I did something wrong…"

"You just might have yesterday…" An said remembering the split second stare between Fuji and Ryoma last night when Momoshiro had approved Serene and Ryoma leaving.

"What?" Momoshiro said clueless about what he had done.

"Just keep being lost." An said not wanting to explain the situation he had caused last night. Seriously… sometimes guys were so dense!

xXx

**LA, California**

**USA**

"So how are you two?" Rinko asked turning to talk to Serene and Ryoma as soon as they all got into the car.

"Yeah Seishounen…anything new happen?"

"Actually," Ryoma started with an expressionless face. "Something has."

"Go on and tell us then…" Rinko said as she turned back to face forward while Nanjiroh drove them out of the airport.

"Serene-"

"Ryoma-"

Both Serene and Ryoma stopped at the same time as they looked at each other in confusion to see who would explain.

"Sounds like BIG news if you two are fighting to tell us!" Nanjiroh said loudly with a grin. "Could it be another addition on the way?"  
"Not at all!" Ryoma denied right away, "Serene and I have decided we aren't going through with the marriage."

"What?!" Rinko and Nanjiroh said braking the car on the side of the road hastily before turning to look at the quiet couple in the back.

"You heard me." Ryoma said bluntly staring out the window. "Both of you pulling over for something like this is reckless."

"You're reckless!" Nanjiroh said with shocked eyes, "what did you do?"

"Why do you think it's automatically-" Ryoma started only to be cut off.

"He didn't do anything." Serene defended against her _almost_ father-in-law. "He just inconveniently fell in love."

"With who?" Rinko asked a bit more calm now.

"Syuusuke." Ryoma stated boldly to his parents.

Nanjiroh groaned and Rinko frowned.

"Ryoma I thought that was behind you…" Rinko said sternly.

"I thought so too…but it isn't and it never will be." Ryoma stated with serious gold eyes that met his mother's through the mirror.

"I won't agree to it!" Nanjiroh said with angry eyes. "That man is now married, something you should be as well!"

"He's getting a divorce…we're going to be together whether mom and you approves or not." Ryoma said.

"I'm your father!" Nanjiroh said with icily.

"And it's my future." Ryoma said in the same tone to his father.

"You-"

"Nanjiroh… perhaps it's best we get home before we talk about the rest." Rinko said breaking through the angry argument of father and son. She glanced wearily at Ryoma's stubborn face and Serene's emotionless one. If they had agreed to part, why did they still come together to see them?

xXx

**December 26****th**

**Afternoon**

Fuji jerked awake as the scene of his past dissipated with the last strings of sleep and he buried his head into his hands. Miyuki's insistence that he tell Ryoma the whole of it had brought upon the dreams…he was sure of it.

_'Please let him go…'_

'_I can't…I love him so much!'_

'_Would you destroy his family for this wrong? Would you separate him from me? His mother?'_

Fuji head jerked up from his head and he pushed the blankets aside. There was no use trying to catch a nap like Miyuki wanted him to, his mind would not rest and he was torn by protecting Ryoma's bond with his parents and being with Ryoma.

'Nanjiroh-san… I don't know if I can keep my promise to you any longer.' Fuji thought with a sigh as he headed for the bathroom to wash his face. Perhaps he'd go see what Miyuki was doing.

"Anata…"

Fuji froze before turning towards the door where Sakuno stood almost nervously there with a small smile.

"What do you want?" Fuji asked as blankly as he could before heading the rest of the way into the bathroom and turning on the faucet.

"You really shouldn't try to ignore my presence so…I think we need to have another CLEAR talk right now."

"When was the last one…" Fuji asked cupping the warm water with his hands and brought it to his face.

"Around this time a long time ago." Sakuno said coming into his room to sit on his mussed bed. She straightened the covers automatically as if she was programmed for it. Something Fuji knew she could overlook in any other situation if it was for him.

"I'm not going to give him up." Fuji finally said as he wiped his face and the spare drops that trailed from the strands of hair. " Not ever again…" Fuji said looking straight at the women he hardly considered his wife.

"Then I suppose I should brace myself to tell Ryoma about Nanjiroh and your talk as well." Sakuno said with no pity nor fright in her voice as she stared at him. "I suppose I should tell him that you chose his family over him, choose me because I knew about the talk and destroyed his life because you protected him?"

"I did it because I loved him."

"I loved him!" Sakuno said with almost a hiss at Fuji. "You'll never understand how deeply I love him, all you can think about is what you gave, what you did but never once did you consider I really love that man did you?"

"Sakuno…. you're still wanting Ryoma?" Fuji asked.

"Everyday," Sakuno confirmed with clear hate from her amber eyes. "It's because of you that I couldn't have him."

"You forget you married me!" Fuji said with a frown.

"Because it was the only way to save all of us." Sakuno said with a deep frown.

"Save? You think you saved all of us? With what? Misery?" Fuji asked with his own anger building rapidly.

"Exactly…did you seriously think I'd let you be happy with the man I wanted?"

"Look Sakuno… I take full responsibility for Miyuki…a mistake I make."

'The only mistake you made that day was sleeping with me…Miyuki was all my doing though…" Sakuno said with a mysterious smile.

"What are you talking about?" Fuji said with a frown, "Even in know it takes two to make a baby."

"Yes it does… but in our case it had to have a little help from some drugs."

"Are you saying your drugged me into sleeping with you?" Fuji asked with a sigh, " Sakuno…we were drinking in public…"

"I took drugs… drugs to make sure I would conceive your child." Sakuno said with a small smile of triumph. "I made sure I'd trap you into marriage…yet you almost escaped…it was a good thing that you told me about your talk with Nanjiroh-san drunkenly as you preformed on top of me calling my _Ryoma_!"

"You told me you happen to be at that café and heard Nanjiroh and my talk!" Fuji said advancing on Sakuno so fast. In the next second she was yanked up from where she sat and face-to-face with Fuji's furious face.

"And you believed me." Sakuno said smugly back.

"You witch!"

Sakuno merely let out a crazed giggle as her wild eyes looked at Fuji. "If I were a witch you'd be dead and Miyuki would've had a different father…Ryoma!"

"Your Crazy!" Fuji shouted not trusting himself to push her out of the room in case he should beat her.

"You've told me that for too many years and I'll tell you the same thing Anata…You MADE me this way."

"I never did."

" But you did! If you weren't there, I'd still be Ryuzaki Sakuno, the sweet girl who stuttered and blushed prettily I front of Ryoma. If you hadn't stolen him, I would be Echizen Sakuno, a proud mother to his children instead of the Hiyozako bitch." Sakuno said with enraged eyes and fisted hands at her side.

"He was never yours!" Fuji said through his clenched teeth, "He never even saw you before or after he met me."

Sakuno let out a frustrated scream as she covered her ears, " you're lying! You just never saw the way he looked at me! You never saw anything! You only took what you wanted! Never thinking about the person you're stealing from!"

"He returned my feelings!"

"You forced it on him!" Sakuno continued accusingly, "You seriously thought I'd let you marry him when I'd rather marry you to stop that?"

"You succeeded didn't you?" Fuji shot back, " It's because of you we're in this mess!"

"I didn't succeed at all if after all this time you seduce him again!" Sakuno said with a sneer at Fuji. "I told you, If I can't be happy there is no way in hell I'll let you be."

"You're doing a good job of making my life hell and that's about it." Fuji said dangerously close to slapping her.

"And I'll continue to…" Sakuno said, " until the day you die and I can be Ryoma's wife I'll never stop!"

Fuji didn't answer as she staked out of the bedroom and pushed pass Miyuki who had been standing outside the door worriedly.

"Miyuki…" Fuji said with a weak smile.

"Otou-san… I really think you should-"

"I won't tell him…I promised his father, I promised myself I wouldn't and I can't turn back on my words so easily."

Miyuki didn't say anything as she watched her dad sit on his bed and raked his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I'm going out to buy dinner…" Miyuki merely said as she turned to leave her father in silence. Although she hadn't wanted to, dinner had to be done and feelings needed to be sorted out first.

'Otou-san… please don't leave me….' Miyuki murmured to the sky as she hurried away to grab a jacket.

xXx

**LA, California**

**USA**

"A last trip huh?" Rinko asked Serene who had done nothing but stare at Ryoma play tennis all morning.

"Aa…" Serene answered as she watched his perfect form…he could've been someone big in tennis yet he choose to be a teacher.

"Serene-chan…. I feel as if I should apologize to you for my son's behavior." Rinko said with a smile, "but as a woman myself, I know you don't want that."

"And you are absolutely right." Serene said with a smile to Rinko. " I don't desire pity or any material needs, I want your son's heart…. and if I can't have it I'd like to let him be happy."

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Rinko asked looking at her son as well.

"When, in all the years we have been together have you seen this energy and strength being emitted from him?" Serene asked.

"Actually…I haven't, to be honest." Rinko said a bit flustered that she herself had not notice her son's change.

"That is why I do not need till the first to know that I have officially lost." Serene said with a small smile. "I prefer this Ryoma to the gentle, withdrawn one that I have seen this far. I'd like to just enjoy seeing him for the last few days like this."

"I understand…"Rinko said with a smile to Serene, " If you love them, let then go right?"

"Aa…because it isn't love anymore if you force it on them." Serene said with a smile.

Ryoma was smiling…he was playing with all he got, and the quiet reserve was broken.

She was sure now, this was how it was meant to be.

'I have no deep regrets… only one…it wasn't me.'

xXx

**Tokyo, Japan**

Miyuki sighed as she walked home with the bags of grocery around her arms. She felt so blank…so dead. It wasn't that the air was circulating through the streets, it wasn't that the day wasn't beautifully icy with the piles of snow aligning the sides of the sidewalk and streets, it was the fact that Miyuki didn't know how to change the impossible situation her father and she had been placed in.

"Miyuki!"

Miyuki blinked out of her thoughts as she saw a woman walk up to her. She refocused her eyes and noted who it was when the woman leaned in to give her a hug.

"An-san…"

xXx

"Your mother didn't mention that I called?' An asked as she eyes Miyuki from across the café table they had slid into.

"No she didn't, if she had I would've called…" Miyuki said as her expression slowly turned emotionless at the thought of her mother.

"I'm sure she just forgot." An assured, "There's always so much on a mother's mind…like cleaning and cooking and-"

"My mother doesn't clean, cook, or do anything normal like a mother." Miyuki stated blankly.

'Then…what does she do." An began prying immediately.

"She loves to torture my father." Miyuki stated more focused on her own thoughts then An.

An couldn't find a response to that…even as the waitress brought Miyuki's hot cocoa and her tea.

"An…"

Both Miyuki and An looked up to see Momoshiro walking towards them with his usual grin. An almost sigh in relief at his entrance to break the awkward silence.

"Anata…" An greeted as he slid in next to her and ordered a cup of coffee.

"Miyuki-chan…" Momoshiro acknowledged as Miyuki bowed her head a bit and greeted him back.

"So…" Momoshiro said looking at the both of them. " What did you guys talk about?"

"Miyuki…" An said instead drawing Miyuki's attention back to herself. "I'd like to understand the situation with your mother more."

"I'm afraid that's a private matter…" Miyuki said softly as she stirred her drink unconsciously.

"I…. WE just want to understand." An said indicating her husband and herself, " maybe if you let us help we can make it better."

"I highly doubt it…" Miyuki said with a tint of sadness in her voice. " I don't want to betray my father."

"What if I said we wouldn't say anything to anyone but just give our opinion to you?" Momoshiro said curious at Miyuki's loyalty now. If it called upon loyalty to one's parent, it had to be important.

"I…"

"Please help us understand Miyuki…" An insisted never breaking her stare from the girl.

"Okay…" Miyuki said with a sigh. "My mother is blackmailing my father."

"Blackmailing?" Momoshiro said in disbelief. Fuji-senpai being blackmailed to him was like the sky falling down.

"Aa…"

"With what?" Momoshiro asked accepting his coffee from the waitress before focusing back on Miyuki.

"With me…"

"HUH?" Momoshiro said wide-eyed…. this was getting outrageous!

xXx

**LA, CA**

"What did mom and you do?" Ryoma asked sitting down with a can of Ponta. His father and he still were not speaking but that didn't seem to bother Ryoma at all.

"Nothing much… just went shopping." Serene said handing Ryoma a towel.

"Oh…Thanks." He said accepting the towel.

"I like this Ryoma." Serene said out of the blue.

"What?" Ryoma asked looking back at Serene.

"I said," Serene said with a small smile. " I like this Ryoma a lot more than the one who has been with me."

"Oh…why?" Ryoma asked with a raised brow.

"Because this is your true form right?" Serene said with a softer smile. "I like to think I like you no matter how you act but I love this form best."

"What are you getting at?" Ryoma asked looking at Serene closely.

"I've figured out that I want you to be like this always." Serene said with a small sigh, " Because this is what you feel most comfortable as."

"You think?" Ryoma asked.

"I know…this is who you need and want to be." Serene finished. "That's why I already know that by the end of this trip, you should go to Fuji-san."

"Serene…"

"I've decided," Serene said in a genuine tight smile. "Always be happy like this and I will never regret letting you go."

Ryoma merely nodded, as he couldn't trust himself to say anything to her. Pulling her into his arms, Ryoma counted his good luck in finding such a woman. Truly, he was thankful for someone so understanding…he needed to call Fuji.

xXx

**Tokyo, Japan**

"How is your mother using you?" An finally asked.

"I'm her checkmate." Miyuki said with a sigh. " As long as I exist, dad will forever be in checkmate."

"So she's using you to keep from being divorced?" Momoshiro asked.

'Kind of…you see…I wasn't born out of love." Miyuki said swallowing back remorse and painful memories. " I was born as a mean to hold my father from the one he loves… to punish all three of them."

"Three?" Momoshiro asked lost now.

"Echizen-sensei, Mother and father." Miyuki clarified. "Mother loved Echizen-sensei enough to sleep with my father and get pregnant to stop my father from being with Echizen-sensei. In the end, everyone is hurt because of her… Dad because he can't be with the one he loves, Echizen-sensei who misunderstood the situation and my mother who tortures herself with someone she doesn't love so that dad will never be happier than her."

"Sakuno-chan…I can't believe she would do that…" Momoshiro said with a shocked expression.

"A woman can do anything." An said after a while. "But why do you hate her?"

"Because she never wanted me for anything but to put my father in check." Miyuki said almost savagely now. " She was always thinking about personal gains, never about me!"

"But why didn't your father just explain to Echizen that he was caught up like that?"

"He couldn't…"Miyuki said with a frown, " who would believe that _sweet _Sakuno was evil and the victim was my father? Even Echizen-sensei and you couldn't believe it."

"True…" Momoshiro said thinking back on his initial response now. "But even then, it should've been said at his reception… I remembered clearly that they had a talk and that changed Echizen for life."

"He couldn't…my mother got him in check again…. before the incident I'm sure you both heard of Echizen-sensei's parents visiting him and disapproving of their relationship?"

"Yes," Momoshiro said immediately. "But that was a whole two months before he came back married to your mother."

"My father had a private talk with Echizen-sensei's father…he told my father to let Echizen-sensei go or else he'd break up their family. My father, of course didn't want that but he didn't want to leave Echizen-sensei either so he took it upon himself to take time and decide what to do." Miyuki hesitated a bit as she took a sip of her hot cocoa and continued her tale. "He went out drinking a couple days later due to stress from everything and met my mother there…he drank a bit too much and my mother at the time had just finished suffering from rejection from Echizen-sensei. It was through my father's drunken talk that revealed he was the reason why Echizen-sensei never looked at her. My father also stupidly mentioned the private talk with Echizen-sensei's father. My mother, distraught over this, used the information to her advantage and slept with my father."

"I see…" An said, " so that's how you were born…out of spite and jealousy."

"No…I was born out of their second encounter." Miyuki said with an attempt to smile but failed as a look of disgust passed her face instead.

"Second?" Momoshiro asked.

"Aa… my father felt obligated to meet her and apologize for sleeping with her unknowingly…she used that to get drugs to help her get pregnant. She got my father drunk, took her drugs and slept with him again. When father awoke he thought he had forced it upon my _sweet_ mother again."

"So you were born purposely to stop Echizen and Fuji?" Momoshiro said with more understanding now.

"Aa…but she wanted to trap him even further after finding out she was pregnant…she happened to see Echizen-sensei and my father have a big fight and my father left town to think things out since he had agreed during that time to let Echizen-sensei go so there would be problems within his family. My mother followed and they '_accidentally'_ met there as well…which resulted in my mother drugging my father into marrying her and waking up with my dear mother who had already called her family with the "happy" news of her marriage." Miyuki sighed as she finished her tale and her drink. " Overall, my mother threatened him to stay married or else she'd use me and his talk to destroy Echizen-sensei…my father, being protective took the offer and didn't say anything but went along with the marriage…miserably."

"Why didn't he say something that night at the reception? Why didn't he give Ryoma a sign that he still loved him?" Momoshiro asked with a deep frown now.

"He did…my father said he told Echizen-sensei he loved him in the most subtle way he could even if my mother checkmated him that night as well.

"She was inside though!" Momoshiro insisted.

"But she arranged for Echizen-sensei's father to be out there…and my father had a bargain to fulfill." Miyuki said with a sad smile. "He stood in plain sight of my father as Echizen-sensei and my father had their talk."

"So he couldn't outright say he loved him." An said with new understanding now.

"I misunderstood Fuji-senpai…" Momoshiro said after a long time.

"I believe you owe him an apology Anata…" An said placing a hand on her husband. " Thank you for telling us Miyuki."

Miyuki merely nodded softly. " it felt better to get it off my chest a bit as well."

"I think Echizen should know about this." Momoshiro said suddenly.

"You can't!" Miyuki said as the color drained from her face.

"Why not?" Momoshiro said, " Echizen deserves the truth!"

"But it isn't your truth to tell!" Miyuki said with almost desperation in her voice, "you promised you wouldn't say anything!"

"You did." An said to her husband. "You have got to respect your words as a man… but Miyuki…" An continued looking at her now. "Why are you hiding this with your father?"

"I don't want to… but my father wants to honor his word and protect Echizen-sensei's family." Miyuki admitted, " but I don't want you to say anything without his permission because…because I do not want my father to become depress again…I don't want him to leave me…" Miyuki finished as a tear streaked down her cheek as her lips quivered a bit. It was as if the dam of hurt she had been hiding was breaking and there was no support at the moment for her. Years of anguish, years of living in fear opening all at the same time was showing Momoshiro and An exactly the vulnerable daughter she was.

"Sweetie…" An said leaving her seat to go around and hold Miyuki tightly….

The position her parents put her in had forced her to grow up and be responsible. The situation had destroyed her utterly inside…

"I won't say anything…" Momoshiro promised watching his wife comfort Miyuki. At the moment he just hoped his children would never feel the same isolation and fear as Miyuki did…no, he'd make sure that never happened.

"Thank you…I don't want my father to leave me…I don't want him to die…" Miyuki said softly.

"We won't say anything…" An promised as she held Miyuki closer. If she could, she wanted to love and tell Miyuki how good and wonderful she is.

xXx

**Fuji's Apartment**

"Moshi Moshi?" Fuji answered his cell without looking at the number. He was tired and worn out from dealing with his "wife"…plus Miyuki wasn't home yet and it was worrying him.

"_What are you worrying about now Syuu…"_

"Ry-Ryoma?" Fuji asked looking around to make sure Sakuno wasn't insight before heading to his bedroom.

"_Who else were you expecting?"_

The teasing yet arrogant tone was evident but Fuji was just glad to be hearing him…hearing him just like in the old days…

"No one…" Fuji muttered back as he savored the sound of Ryoma…oh how he wanted Ryoma at the moment…if only…if only it was all different.

"_I miss you…"_

"Baka…" Fuji chided although tears entered his eyes. " It'll only be a week before we can see each other again."

"_But I miss you anyways…Serene has agreed."_

"Agreed on what?" Fuji asked. He didn't remember needing the nurse to agree on anything.

"_She'll cancel the engagement willingly…we can finally be together after you divorce Sakuno."_

Fuji felt the rush and disappointment at the same time…. for the first time in years he had the power once more to make it or break it with Ryoma. Pain etched itself once more in his heart as he remembered his bargain…Sakuno and every other problem that was against their union.

"_Something wrong?"_

"Ryoma…" Fuji said in the steadiest voice he could muster in such situations.

"_What's wrong?"_

Fuji heard the irritation and panic in Ryoma's voice but ignored it. "You should marry Serene."

"_What are you talking about? If its about children again I swear-"_

"I'm not divorcing Sakuno so please marry Serene…" Fuji said as fast as he could before hanging up and pushing his head into his hands in frustration. Even now, he couldn't bare the thought of tearing Ryoma away from his parents… he couldn't think of what Sakuno would do to his daughter if he left her side.

'Why me…' Fuji thought sadly as his phone went off again. He didn't answer…

xXx

**Echizen residence**

Ryoma suppressed the need to pack up and fly home and redialed Fuji's number instead…. He couldn't believe Fuji had just told him to go through with the marriage! He was a hundred…no make that a hundred and ten percent sure something or someone was twisting Fuji's hand again!

Actually Ryoma could swear their feelings for each other were mutual but it seemed it had taken someone less than a two days to convince Fuji otherwise!

'Syuusuke no baka!' Ryoma thought furiously. 'Pick up your damn phone or they'll be hell to pay when I get home!'

xXx

**Fuji's Room**

"Otou-san?"

"Miyuki?" Fuji asked standing to open his door, "Where have you been?"

"I just ran into Momoshiro-san and An-san." Miyuki said with a small smile, " Is something wrong? Did I worry you?"

"You did…" Fuji said returning her small smile. He set a hand on her head lovingly and started out of his room. " I'll cook dinner."

"Hai…" Miyuki said as she turned to go help her father…that was until she heard the faint ring tone of her father's cell phone. Curious as to who was calling, Miyuki picked up the phone and saw Echizen-sensei's phone number. Looking towards the door, Miyuki sighed and answered the call.

"Echizen-sensei?"

"_Miyuki? Where is your father?"_

"Is something wrong? Father is busy making dinner." Miyuki confided.

"_I see…it's just that we had things to discuss…"_

"I see… hearing your irritated tone I suppose my father has already told you something negative."

"_As a matter of fact, he did and I want it corrected right now or I'm flying back!"_

"Echizen-sensei… my dad is sulking right now as well so it might not be the best time to talk…maybe when you do get back it'd be best if you understand the situation."

"_What situation?"_

"My mother has come back and life isn't as easy as it was without her so please…" Miyuki said shutting her mind from what she really wanted to say. "Give my father some time to tell you."

"…_fine…"_

"Goodbye then…" Miyuki said as she moved the phone away from her ear and ended the call. Sitting on the bed with a deep sigh, Miyuki prayed hard that her father would at least explain his promise to Echizen-sensei.

xXx

**Momoshiro residence**

"I can't believe this is all in the dark…" An said to her husband as she closed the door on the babysitter and came to sit next to her brooding husband.

"I know…but I just can't see Sakuno being so…."

"Evil?" An said looking at her husband.

"Yes!" He agreed with a sigh. "I just can't see her like that but…"

"Miyuki has no reason to lie about her mother and the events match up."

"If I was half a friend to Echizen I'd call and confess it all now." Momoshiro said with a small smile to his wife.

"If you were a man of your word you'd keep your word to Miyuki though…if she pleaded so desperately then it must mean Fuji would take desperate measures to see to it that Ryoma-kun won't split from his family either." An assessed.

"True…perhaps all we can do is what Miyuki is doing huh?" Momoshiro asked pulling his wife into his arms.

"Wait on the sideline?" An asked allowing her husband to hold her closely as she herself held on tightly to him.

"Aa…" Momoshiro answered after a brief pause. "That is all we can do…"

xXx

**January 1****st**

**Tokyo Airport**

"I'm going home from here…" Serene informed the three as she grabbed her luggages.

"Thank you for spending your Christmas with us Serene-chan." Rinko said with a smile.

"It was a pleasure…goodbye Ryoma." Serene said with a small smile. "I'll see you at school."

"Aa…" Ryoma said with a nod. The whole week he was in LA the only thought he had was he needed to get back and figure out the Situation' as Miyuki had stated to him on the day after Christmas. What he didn't expect was his parents flying home with him to "work" things out like his father had put it.

"Seishounen-"

"I'm going to see him Oyaji…whether you want me to or not." Ryoma stated clearly to his father as he walked out of the airport to find a taxi. His first priority was to see and understand Fuji.

"Ryoma…" Rinko called out. " It's best to wait till tomorrow…it's late…"

"But I…"

"Nothing will be solved tonight…"

"But I work tomorrow!" Ryoma growled out.

"Don't you think he has a life as well?" Rinko asked knowing she had won already.

"Fine…" Ryoma finally muttered as he caught a cab for the three of them. He'd go home for now…but tomorrow…even if he had to trap Miyuki…he would!

xXx

"Is there something wrong Anata?" Rinko asked as she looked at Nanjiroh's expression centered on the bedroom door of their son. Ever since they had arrived and settled in their son's apartment, Nanjiroh had been quiet and watching Ryoma silently. It was only now that he was staring a the door Ryoma had went through and closed after readying his things for tomorrow.

"No…" He uttered but still his expression remained. He didn't know what to say or do…he wanted grandchildren to hold but that would mean sacrificing his son's happiness…but if he allowed hi son to stray then that meant he 'd never see a grandchild…

"Anata…are you still not liking our son's choice?" Rinko asked putting her hand over her husband's.

"No I don't… " Nanjiroh admitted. "He should come back to the states after the 15th with us and find a decent girl if not Serene-chan."

"But before out happiness, shouldn't our son's come first?" Rinko asked. " He didn't plan to love Fuji-san and we didn't plan to have a son who was like this…but can't we both accept that what we wanted may never come true?"

"He seduced our son!" Nanjiroh insisted with a frown.

"But our son was consenting…if he didn't it wouldn't have ended this way right?" Rinko asked with a small sigh. "I have a regret that this isn't what I had planned for in the future but Nanjiroh…let me warn you now…if my son isn't happy due to your interference I will not stand by."

Nanjiroh swallowed…his wife wasn't one to oppose him…but when she did, things got ugly…better yet, if she knew that he was the reason his son was unhappy all these years she may just kill him now….

"Do you hear?" Rinko asked softly.

"….Aa…" Nanjiroh answered unwillingly. All he could hope for was that Fuji would keep to his word and honor the promise he gave so many years ago.

'Let him go…'

xXx

**January 2****nd**

"Welcome back…" Miyuki merely said after Ryoma had cornered her before class started in the hallway.

"Miyuki…where is your father?" Ryoma demanded.

"He didn't send me to school." Miyuki said softly.

"You can stop lying to me." Ryoma said with a frown. "That was definitely his car you came out of…"

"I'm only saying what my father asked me to say." Miyuki stated with a sigh, "but between me and you he'll pick me up after school so can you stop making a scene?"

"I…oh…aa.." Ryoma agreed noting the stares they were getting. He now had something to look forward to so he should focus!

"Good morning Ry-…Echizen-sensei…" Serene said as she passed by in her white lab coat.

"Serene…I don't think we need to go back to formalities ne?" Ryoma asked with a small smile. " Let's continue to call each other as we are comfortable with."

"If that is what you want…" Serene said with a smile. "Will you still have lunch with me or is that not possible anymore?"

"We can still have lunch together." Ryoma said with a smile.

"Oh…I'll invite other teachers as well so it won't be too awkward." Serene said noting a bit of reluctance after experiencing rumors this morning of their break-up over the last week.

"It's fine…" Ryoma said with a smirk.

Serene laughed musically at his expression. She had only started seeing such expression this past week and she was convinced that she loved this side of him very much as well as the side he's always shown her. "You must be very happy because Fuji-san is going to be with us for the next couple days taking pictures of the school."

"He is?" Ryoma asked looking at Serene in disbelief.

"Aa… it seems over the week we were gone, his assignment in the local magazine has been to gather information about the close schools in Tokyo and he had just finished with the farther schools so he'll be working here for a couple days to gather information." Serene happily informed him.

"Thanks Serene…" Ryoma said with a smile before he turned and headed for class.

"Ryoma…"

"Yes?" Ryoma asked turning back to face Serene who was suppressing a grin on her face.

"You know you are running late and going the wrong way right?"

"I…" Ryoma sighed at his blunder and gave Serene a half smile as he ran the opposite direction towards his classroom.

"No running in the halls Echizen-sensei!" Serene called playfully after him. It lightened her heart to see the carefree Ryoma…but it also burdened her heart that now she was back in the playing field and Mikage-sensei from the history department was very interested in her. He had announced today that she was off-limits to any potential dates because they were all booked with his name.

"Hiyozako-san…"

Serene turned to see Nakagawa-sensei heading towards her with her files she needed from the teacher's lounge.

"Oh… Thank you Nakagawa-sensei…" Serene said with a small smile. Everyone feared Nakagawa because he was a serious teacher who seemed like a perfectionist…although quite handsome many girls didn't think he was approachable because he was only teaching here for experience while schooling and writing his thesis to be a professor at Tokyo University.

"I was on my way out anyways." He said with a slight nod to her.

Serene nodded to him in thanks again and turned to walk back towards her office with a small sigh. As she passed by a side door, she saw a woman peeking through and opened the door for her.

"Can I help you?" Serene asked the woman as fright appeared in her big brown eyes.

"Oh…I…Soujirou….er…"

"Are you looking for Nakagawa-sensei?" Serene asked patiently since he was the only Soujirou she knew. He had been a classmate at Tokyo U although he had stayed for his masters and she had graduated.

"Um…Yes…NO! I mean… could you give this to him and…tell him sorry?" She asked basically flinging a key at Serene who bewilderedly watched the woman make a hasty exit and leave.

'Strange….' Serene thought silently as she picked up the key that the woman had left.

xXx

**Lunchtime**

Miyuki sighed as she stared at Echizen-sensei walking with Hiyozako-san and some other teachers. She was debating if she should tell him that her father had to be spend some time in the school over the next few days taking pictures for his job and not telling him. Lately she had been more than worried at her father's deteriorating smile and her mother's annoying complaints that she had forgotten about the usual worries of being a normal girl.

"Miyuki!"

"Hm?" Miyuki asked looking at her friend Mika.

"I said did you not notice that Minami-kun and Tsukiko-chan had broken up?"

"Did they? Why?" Miyuki asked. She was really out of the loop since everyone but she seemed to know that Minami, the school's hottest boy and Tsukiko, the school cutest girl had gone their own ways.

"Supposedly Minami has been looking at someone else lately…" Mika said with s small smile.

"Who?" Miyuki asked trying to sound as excited as they all were.

"YOU silly!"

"Me?" Miyuki asked shocked…. now she didn't have to pretend…

xXx

**Teacher's lounge**

**Lunchtime**

"So who decided to break it off?" Onosaka-sensei asked Serene and Ryoma with a sly smile. " Come on… you two were suppose to be lovey-dovey!"

"We just came to an agreement that we were more like friends…" Ryoma said trying to hide his dislike for the women's prying nature.

"But-"

"Just give it up Onosaka…" Nakagawa said from where he sat by himself eating in the corner. His reading glasses were propped on the bridge of his nose and he sat eating his bento, whom everyone since the beginning was dying to know who made him and looking over his students latest score on their Math test.

"Mou…Nakagawa is always like that!" Onosaka said with a frown as she dug into her instant Ramen.

"Serene-chan still makes Echizen-sensei his bento?" Kirasawa-sensei asked watching Ryoma withdraw his own bento set.

"My mom…" Ryoma said with a sigh, "she's visiting and insists."

"Aww!' Both Onosaka and Kirasawa said together, " how cute!"

"Why don't you both ask who makes Nakagawa's for a change?" Ryoma asked trying to turn their attention away from him.

"But Nakagawa never answers!" Onosaka said with a frown.

"I'm here!"

Both ladies shut their mouths and turned to their food not even wanting to see the new occupant.

"Mikage-sensei…" Serene greeted out of politeness.

"Hiyozako-san…." Mikage greeted profusely as he ignored Ryoma who was sitting beside Serene. Ryoma didn't seem to mind as he continued to eat and ignore Mikage-sensei's existence as well.

"Echizen-sensei?"

Ryoma glanced up at the door to see one of his students standing there with a scared expression.

"What is it?" Ryoma asked excusing himself from the group to go towards the girl.

"Kirosana Tsukiko and a couple of girls just dragged Fuji Miyuki out…I think it might get messy…"

"Oh…" Ryoma said, "which way?"

"Towards the back…" The girl said nervously as she watched Ryoma run towards the back.

"We should go see a movie Hiyozako-san…" Mikage pushed.

"Maybe when I'm not to busy…" Serene said as polite as she could, "Then Onosaka and Kirasawa-sensei could come along as well."

"If they want…" Mikage said ignoring them completely. "But I was talking about you and me… just-"

"Serene-chan… did you drop this?" Kirasawa-sensei interrupted Mikage's speech of 'themselves' as she held up a chain with a key on it to Serene.

"Oh yes…" Serene mussed out as she excused herself from Mikage-sensei and headed to Nakagawa.

"Soujirou…here." Serene said without thinking as she handed him the key.

"What is this?" Nakagawa asked looking at the plain key and key chain.

"Serene-chan!" Onosaka interrupted, " could it be Nakagawa and you are going out and excahnaign house keys?"

Kirasawa squealed, "She even referred to him as Soujirou without an honorific…they are so close already?"

"I…no!" Serene tried to correct her mistake….it was too late as Mikage glared daggers at Nakagawa and Kirasawa and Onosaka tried to top each other getting the details out of Serene.

xXx

**Meanwhile-**

Ryoma searched every back corner as he wondered what kind of drama had happened this time for the girls to drag Miyuki out. He was sure Miyuki wasn't even interested in the boys here… better yet, didn't he hear Kirosana was dating Noboro Minami?

"You bitch!"

'Bingo!' Ryoma thought as he rounded the last corner. It seemed they were all here.

Turning the corner he saw the four girls surrounding and pushing Miyuki as Miyuki looked mildly amused at whatever they were talking about and looking at them with her father's 'want to die' look.

Ryoma saw Kirosana swing back her hand to slap Miyuki and advanced.

"That's enough!"

"Sensei…" the other girls said as they moved away from Miyuki.

"What's going on?" Ryoma demanded more from Kirosana than the others.

"Nothing much…" Miyuki said as she started to walk away from the scene. "Tsukiko-chan just wanted to vent about losing Minami-kun."

"I see…" Ryoma said as he looked at the girls, "Go back to lunch and leave this nonsense behind."

"Hai…" The girls agreed and split. Ryoma sighed and headed back to the teacher's lunge… really! He felt as if this was already high school drama and these kids were still a year away from high school!

Opening the door, he was surprised to see Serene between Nakagawa and Mikage trying to stop a fight herself while Onosaka and Kirasawa gossiped loudly.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" Ryoma asked raising his voice.

"Echizen-sensei… you have our sympathy!" Onosaka said immediately, "I also had no clue Nakagawa could screw around with your fiancée!"

"What are you talking about?" Ryoma asked a bit annoyed now.

Kirasawa gasped loudly and covered her mouth as she looked at Ryoma. ' Oh dear lord… he didn't know either!"

"Know what?"

"Ryoma!" Serene called out desperately as Mikage charged and Serene fell backwards with a tiny scream…straight into Nakagawa's lap.

"Move!" Ryoma stated irritably at Mikage as he all but flung the man to the side as he helped Serene up from Nakagawa's lap. "Now explain!"

"Nakagawa slept with my women!" Mikage announced.

Serene gasped as she searched for anything and found Nakagawa's chopsticks, which she flung at Mikage-sensei.

"I was just giving Nakagawa's keys back to him which some women told me to give to him earlier today!" Serene explained.

"But you were so informal-"

"We were classmates at one point!" Nakagawa announced as calm as he could although a vein stuck prominently out of his forehead.

"I see…" Kirasawa said with a nod, "So Nakagawa's girl left him… say Nakagawa… want to go to a Goukon (group date) with us?"

"Just finish your lunch!" Ryoma said loudly as he settled back down next to Serene to eat.

"Hiyozako-san…"

"Hai?" Serene asked looking at Nakagawa.

"How am I going to eat?"

"Eh?" Serene asked totally confused at his question.

"Chopstick…" Nakagawa said with a small sigh.

As if it just dawned on her, Serene blushed as she remembered tossing them at Mikage-sensei.

"I'm so sorry…please…use my spare!" Serene said handing her second pair to Nakagawa hastily."

Nakagawa didn't say anything…he merely took the chopsticks.

xXx

**After school**

Miyuki yawned as she said good-bye to her friends and followed the others that rushed out of the classroom out…only to be stunned by Ryoma leaning against the wall.

"Echizen-sensei…"

"Great, let's go!" Ryoma said watching Miyuki expectantly. It seemed he was waiting for her…a good stand in Miyuki's eyes…if you wanted to catch the parent, hold the child.

"All right…" Miyuki said with a sigh, "let's go…"

"Miyuki…"

Miyuki froze as she looked up to see Sakuno standing there with her 'bright' smile.

"There you are dear…"

"Okaa-san…" Miyuki merely muttered as she felt Ryoma pass her by and aim straight for her mother.

"Where's Syuusuke?" Ryoma asked immediately.

"Ry-ryoma-kun…that was-"

"Drop the act and tell me where he is…" Ryoma said irritably. "What kind of things did you tell him to get him to change his mind?"

"I didn't tell him anything!" Sakuno defended with a pout, "it's not my fault he wanted to not tell you-"

"That's enough!" Fuji's voice cut through Sakuno's as he advanced from behind her. " What did you want Echizen?"

Ryoma didn't know whether to snap at the world or at Fuji who had moved them back in formalities.

"Syuusuke!"

"Echizen…I think we fixed our regret didn't we…so go get married…"

"Bullshit Syuusuke!" Ryoma shouted hauling Sakuno, Miyuki and Syuusuke into the nearest empty classroom for more privacy. " What kind of things are you spouting now?"

"I'm serious…I'm not divorcing Sakuno…so get married." Fuji said with a small smile. "We're through…"

"Otou-san!" Miyuki protested but Ryoma grabbed Fuji roughly by his shirt and glared at Fuji more with pain then anger.

"You said you loved me…didn't you? Didn't you say you love me?" Ryoma demanded through his clenched teeth.

"I did…" Fuji said avoiding a look at Sakuno's frown.

"Then-"

"Ryoma-kun…" Sakuno started glaring at her husband.

"I still do…the moon still represents my heart towards you…" Fuji interrupted as he pulled Sakuno roughly and Miyuki lighter towards the door. " I'm sorry…"

"Don't fuck with me…" Ryoma whispered… but the only answer he got was the shutting of the door. He couldn't believe after all this…his heart was still fickle…it was still changing…away from him.

"DON"T FUCK LIKE THAT WITH ME!" Ryoma shouted as he slid the door open to see Fuji rushing away with his wife and daughter in tow.

Angered beyond everything Ryoma stalked towards the nurse office. If that's what Syuusuke wanted then he'd give it to him. He wanted him to marry Serene, FINE! He would!

Sliding the door open, Ryoma saw a startled Serene look up.

"Ryo-"

Ryoma cut her off as he hauled her against him and kissed her deeply.

"What are you thinking?" Serene asked after pushing off of Ryoma in surprise.

"We're doing what we should've done!" Ryoma snapped out, " we're going to get married and move to LA on the fifteenth just like we planned to!"

"Are you crazy?" Serene asked, " What about Fuji?"

"What about that bastard!" Ryoma said angrily. "He can rot with his fickle heart for all I care!"

SLAP

Serene swung with all her might at Ryoma's cheek jerking his head to the side as tears spill out of her eyes.

"How dare you…. how dare you use me as a replacement…I thought…I thought that's what you wanted to save me from becoming?"

" He doesn't love me at all… the damn moon still represents his heart!"

"What?" Serene asked trying to understand him.

"He told me the moon represents his heart…his love for me…the fucking moon is fickle!" Ryoma said angrily as he pushed a hand angrily through his hair.

A silence filled the room as each thought things through… suddenly Serene let out a tearful sigh and Ryoma met her sad eyes.

"Serene…"

"Baka!" Serene said cutting him off as she looked at him painfully. " He loves you very much!"

"Why would you say that? I'm better off with you!" Ryoma said miserably.

Suddenly Serene laughed bitterly…although tears spilled down her cheek and the laugh was weak, it caught Ryoma attention indefinitely. Although it struck him as strange, the crystal tears that continued to spill stunned Ryoma, the pained filled eyes that stared at him and the weak bitter laugh that sounded in the empty clinic.

"That…that is where you don't understand the depth of his love…" Serene weakly said. "he told you the moon represented his heart…his love for you."

"I know he said that…" Ryoma said weakly as he leaned against the wall staring at his ex-fiancée.

Serene shook her head sadly at his assumptions on that line. "; Just by looking at him, I knew he loved you…and he still loves you. You looked at that line in disdain…in fickleness… but I…I see it as so much more."

"More?" Ryoma questioned.

"Ryoma…" Serene said sitting back down on her chair with a heavy plop. "No matter if you see the moon or not it's there right?"

"Maybe…" Ryoma said stubbornly.

"No mater if you see it or not, it's still floating up there…" Serene said ignoring his answer. "Loving you…no matter what…he still loves you…whether you see it or not."

Ryoma, as if opened to the phrase in a new way had finally saw the light and stood. He wanted to run out and kill Fuji for giving him such confusion but he felt he owed Serene…yet another apology as her tears had not cease to fall yet.

"I'm sorry Serene… I always seem to use you as a means to escape…"

"Just go…" Serene managed to say shakily. " You've hurt him and me enough…"

Ryoma didn't say more as he turned to leave only to see the sliding door open again and run into a punch. Ryoma skidded to the floor and immediately refocused to see Nakagawa as his attacker.

"Nakagawa…" Ryoma said standing.

"That was for Hiyozako-san…" Nakagawa said, " No women should ever be used in such ways Echizen-sensei…"

Ryoma merely nodded, "I know… and for that, I gladly take this hit as retribution for my actions…"

Nakagawa didn't say anything else as Ryoma basically flew out of the clinic.

"Hiyozako-san…" Nakagawa started. He couldn't say anymore as he handed her his handkerchief and chopsticks.

"Thank you…" Serene managed to choke out before accepting both items he held out.

"I…" Nakagawa started feeling out-of-place all of a sudden started to say but stopped when Serene's hand gripped his shirt gently.

"If you don't mind…" Serene said softly before stopping to wait for his answer.

"I…I don't…" Nakagawa said softly as he drew her into his arms and let her cry it out.

xXx

**Fuji Apartment**

"I can't believe you almost told him!" Fuji said angrily at Sakuno.

"Well you were spitting out such love for him!" Sakuno countered.

"That gives you no right-"

DING DONG

Sakuno ignored him as she flung open the front door in anger only to be in state of shock at who was at the door.

"It's good to see you too Sak.." The guy said with a smirk although his eyes had connected on Fuji and stayed there.

"Ryoga…." Sakuno murmured as she watched him enter the house.

* * *

A/N: I left everyone with another cliffhanger, which wasn't on purpose this time. I just had to cut it or else I couldn't get to my other chapters XD But I did explain the title of the story. For those who don't yet understand, Ryoma saw the saying, as the moon is fickle. It disappears and appears when it pleases, so he took it as Fuji saying their love comes and goes like the moon. What Fuji actually meant, and as Serene was intuitionally enough to see is that his love is like the moon. No matter how it may come and go, no matter if you see it or not, it's always there…. kind of like a hidden love. That was Fuji's way of telling Ryoma that he loved him dearly even if the moon (His love) doesn't show. I hope everyone understands that and from here on out begins the outer problems. Please review and Thank You for reading!


	10. Guilt

A/N: Well… the end is slowly approaching this fic but it's not quite there yet either. Hope everyone's ready for Ryoga's entrance!

It's been a long time! I'm so happy to be back from a very long Hiatus and am very sorry for it since many have convinced me I left behind lots of hopeful people so here I am! Back and writing for all of you! Don't worry, the Thrill community just has a lot of drifting writers who are indefinitely on hiatus or just gone.

I really hope **Lady Androgene, Unreal phantom, Sweet Obsidian Rain, Playgirl Eugene, InnoncentXSorrow, Firey Chronicles, Ishka, UtSuKuShIiMoOn (yes dear cousin, YOU!) **and many others will release some Thrill as well soon because it'd be boring only to read my own work and nothing new from fellow Thrillers. We must keep the thrill alive or else pillar pair will take over D:

Anyways review and enjoy this Back to School Release… if I'm on schedule then Halloween should have a mass update!

NOW go read and review and make me happy after such a long Hiatus!!

* * *

irishKaoru- I'm sure you were unable to think of it that way because Ryoma had convinced you it was what he thought it was… but like all situations, everything is double-sided and the one who can see both side can see all wrongs.

seyami-chan- Yes, everyone seems to want her dead by now but the story continues!

MARYLOVER- LOL, I understand life so it's really all right that you didn't review. Fics with An leading a stronger role are so rare, I had to give her some spotlight and yes. Miyuki is a definite link to make everyone understand the situations and scenes…she is my character that offers in-sight to the audience.

I initially thought I'd have Serene wait out her decision but I decided not to drag it since her character from the beginning had been able to understand Ryoma so well. She knew there wasn't a chance and I just wanted to convey her understanding by her watching Ryoma. The scene in the infirmary made up for the pain I didn't show during the trip and I figured a women will be a women and it's her right to show her anguish and hurt to Ryoma at that moment.

The line and double meaning was brought to my attention as I was listening to the song With the same title and it was suddenly brought to my attention that the moon was not always visible…making both Ryoma and Fuji's view of the quote plausible.

Yes, Ryoga was inserted at the end and my schemes have heightened once more… even if the story is already starting to close.

shadowsteph- Well I was sick of how people were classifying her so I tested the limits when I wrote 'Wet With Tears' and made her strong… With this story, I took it a step further and wanted to show everyone what could be behind a cute, disoriented girl's façade. I know it's hard for everyone to see Sakuno this way but I did stay as true as I could to her personality.

CrystalKitteN-MeW- No… the story is drawing to a close now that everything is slowly being settled. It was meant to be a dramatic yet heartfelt fic. I hope you'll stick with it for the last few chapters it has!

Skryrssb- It's funny how everyone hated Serene to feeling sorry for her but that's life. Not everyone can win in love and I like to believe I proved my case that the person in-between is not always the villain. I may just give her a minor spotlight with Nakagawa so that should cheer everyone up.

fan girl 666- I will have to continue being mean because I fear the end of this chapter wasn't too subtle either XD

lilgurlanima- Ryoga's there for a reason of course and Momo and An will be returning to the story.

**XxSisz4evaxx-** I will assure you now, That was no typo XD that was me inserting a new character and problem to the jumble.

FlAmEsOfDeSiReS- Ryoga's appearance will certainly set off the last but NOT least of a problem. He'll be explaining his appearance in this chapter.

abhorsen3-It's

munkyaround- Well Love is never fair and luck just wasn't on her side… she may hook up with the other sensei… depends on the next few chapters. XD

Ryoga has a wonderful purpose so I'm not completely out of it! XD

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. AU

* * *

**Chapter X: Guilt**

**Recap-**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**January 2nd**_

"It's good to see you too Sak.." The guy said with a smirk although his eyes had connected on Fuji and stayed there.

"Ryoga…." Sakuno murmured as she watched him enter the house.

"You!" Miyuki said with a gasp as she looked at her mother with hatred. "You sent for him to interfere didn't you? Get out! Get out and leave dad and me in peace!'

"How dare you!" Sakuno said as fury alighted on her face. She advanced quickly and slapped her daughter's face harshly and was only satisfied when she herself snapped her daughter's face to the side. "How dare you say that to the person who gave you life!"

Miyuki wasn't in the mood to be reprimanded… instead she lashed out with all she had and pushed her mother towards Ryoga in almost a crazed manner. Heaving a breath to try to keep calm; Miyuki glared at her mother and decided enough was enough…she was going to say everything here!

"You gave me life all right! But for all the wrong reasons!" Miyuki shouted at her mother. Despite the angry tears that blurred the faces of her mother and her lover, she continued…it was as if everything she had held in was released with that slap.

"I was only a burden! A burden you purposely put in the world for your own selfish needs!"

"Why you little-" Sakuno started but felt a hand clamp over her shoulder. Turning slightly she noted Fuji's emotionless expression. " What?"

"Hit our daughter again and I won't be responsible for whatever may happen to you."

"You-"

"It's been a while Fuji…" Ryoga finally said moving towards Fuji.

"It has…" Fuji said absently as he avoided looking at Ryoga. He was the splitting image of Ryoma at certain angles and to look at him now would only show his pathetic state of mind.

"You should look at me when talking to me…" Ryoga said lifting Fuji's face towards his forcefully. "I was quite disappointed that you ran away from me…"

"We were never together so how could I have run from you."

"Explain the sudden move from England to Japan then Syuu… don't you understand there is nothing between your wife and me… all I want is you…"

"Li-like I said… we aren't together like that." Fuji said with a slight frown.

"Not even after that night?" Ryoga asked wrapping an arm around Fuji's waist. "Wasn't it you and me that night?"

"I can't remember anything from that night." Fuji admitted.

"Should I tell you then?" Ryoga asked pressing a kiss to Fuji's forehead slightly

"Otou-san?" Miyuki said rushing towards her father and Ryoga. "You sick bastard! Get away from my father!"

Sakuno shoved her daughter hard when Miyuki had advanced far enough towards where she stood next to Ryoga and Fuji.

"Don't interfere with adult business brat." Sakuno said stepping on her daughter's hand hard as she glared down at her. "You should learn your place… a child is to be seen not heard."

"Otou-san!" Miyuki shouted again seeing Ryoga had completely stunned her father b whatever he was whispering to him.

"No… at this rate… that man will do what he wants with dad!" Miyuki muttered under her breath as she managed to push her mother's foot off her crushed hand and rise to run. She had to get someone…someone to help them…

Pulling open the door, Miyuki stumbled out hoping her manic of a mother wasn't after her. She tore down the hall without caring that she was in slippers or the fact that It was basically still winter and she was heading out without a jacket. Her only thought at the moment was to get someone to save her father…

'At this state he won't be able to defend himself!' Miyuki thought blinking the tears that welled and blurred her vision away so she could continue down the hall…

"Don't come back if you're going to run like a coward!" Sakuno laughed as she walked towards the sofa and sat down as if her husband wasn't being harassed right behind her. She honestly didn't care for her daughter nor her husband… her target was and always had been Echizen Ryoma.

xXx

Ryoma parked his car and took his keys as he sprang out of his car and into the apartments searching for Fuji's apartment number as he climbed stairs. Ryoma couldn't care less if someone stole his car at the moment since he had not stopped to lock it. All he cared about was going to see his Syuusuke… and beating him up… and… loving him every second as Syuusuke had done for him.

Heaving himself up another level he barely noticed the person rushing down…that was until he recognized her!

"Miyuki-chan?!" Ryoma said catching her arm before she descended any further from him.

"Echizen-sensei?" Miyuki croaked out through her cracked voice.

"What happened?" Ryoma asked glancing at her disheveled appearance and tear-streaked face.

"Come with me!" Miyuki said dragging Ryoma up the stairs now as one arm wiped at her tears.

"Is something wrong?" Ryoma continued to ask as he started up the steps as fast as she was heading to save her the trouble of pulling him along.

"Aa!" Miyuki said continuing to jerk Ryoma faster with one hand while her other grasped the railing in case her legs failed her…she had just realized how cold it was in the apartment complex when she noted the goose bumps on her arms... Miyuki almost twisted her lips into a pathetic smile as she wondered why nothing ever affected the human's mind and thoughts until they saw it. Miyuki tried to ignore it the best she could… after all, her father was in danger of god knows what right now! A warmth covered Miyuki so suddenly in the middle of her thoughts that she jumped in surprise to see Ryoma placing his jacket over her trembling figure.

"You looked and felt so cold…" Ryoma explained as he fixed his big jacket over her better before he was satisfied that she would be okay. Miyuki couldn't get the thank you past her lips as she only stared at her teacher… there was so much on her mind, all she truly wanted to do was cry…

"Save that for after this…" Ryoma said as if sensing her thoughts. "As for now… weren't you dragging me somewhere?"

"Otou-san!" Miyuki gasped out as if suddenly remembering. Once again she charged up the hall towards the only door that was open. "Hurry sensei…. Before they rape my father or worse!"

"Rape?" Ryoma asked.

"Aa!" Miyuki yelled as she turned to see how far Ryoma was only to see him passing her in lighting speed. She only had enough time to turn back towards the door to see Ryoma disappearing into the apartment with a look of anger on his face.

'Wow'

That was the only thought that crossed Miyuki's thought as she followed Ryoma inside.

xXx

Ryoma was shocked at the sight when he arrived. In front of him a seemingly crazed Sakuno was cheering on a man who sat on top of Fuji fondling and molesting Fuji. Fuji looked as if he had all but given up… his glazed eyes and solemn expression didn't hold any emotion at all…

Ryoma couldn't move… he could hear his mind telling him to run that bastard through but his body was seemingly paralyzed…because he was sure it must be partly his fault and quick temper earlier that put Fuji in such a mood. All because he didn't know…because he didn't understand…

"Don't look so dead Honey!" Sakuno jeered out. "Just pretend it's Ryoma… it's not to different since they're brothers!"

"I'm an only child!"

All at that same moment, Fuji's eyes snapped open to see Ryoma standing there with his daughter while under Ryoga. Ryoga and Sakuno also turned to see Ryoma in shock at the likeness of the Ryoga and himself.

"Ryoma…" Sakuno whispered turning back into the timid Sakuno…. despite her outward change though she was horrified mentally that Ryoma had to see such a side of her. Her eyes drifted to a slight movement behind Ryoma and anger filled her mind as she realized it was her daughter… the brat probably chased her precious Ryoma here.

Meanwhile, Ryoma who had been in shock had fully awakened when Sakuno had called the man on top of Fuji his brother…. like hell! He was the only child!

"Who are you?" Ryoma demanded from Ryoga.

"Who does it look like I am?" Ryoga asked with a smirk as he got off of Fuji and faced Ryoma. "I'm Syuusuke lover from England…the one who pleased him while you were here…"

"You're lying!" Ryoma said with a glare at the smirking man.

"Why… Otouto (little brother)… that's a mean accusation when you weren't even there." Ryoga said from behind a superior smile. " I think Syuusuke prefers bigger…ah…parts then you can offer."

"Syuusuke?" Ryoma said turning to the man who still couldn't believe that the one he loved was in front of him. " Tell me…"

"I…" Syuusuke started shakily only to see Sakuno piercing gaze.

"It's-"

"NOT TRUE!" Miyuki said grabbing Ryoma's hand to bring his attention to her. " It's not true at all… you see, we were neighbors in England… nothing more!"

"Children don't know what happens behind their backs… or in this case closed doors!" Ryoga said with a look of anger at Miyuki who continually interfered.

"He's been trying to get at daddy this whole time!" Miyuki said pulling at Ryoma's attention again. "Don't believe him!"

"I'm not going to believe anything but what I hear from Syuusuke himself!" Ryoma said tearing his eyes away from the girl who pulled at his arm to the worried man in front of him who didn't seem to know that his shirt was wide open and pants almost undone.

"I don't think Dad can- AHH!" Miyuki let out a scream as her mother advanced and backhanded her off of Ryoma's arm and onto the floor.

"You little bitch! You think you can help your father to lie out of this mess? Well I tell you Ryoma, everything Ryoga said is true!" Sakuno said softening her voice back to the delicate girl she looked like as Ryoma centered his attention on her now. "Ever since we moved to England Syuusuke has been sleeping with this man to replace you!"

"LIES!" Miyuki yelled out standing to defend her father.

"Oh really? What would a kid like you know when you don't even know anything!" Sakuno said with a frown to Miyuki before turning back to Ryoma with determined eyes. " He was always in Ryoga's apartment slutting for him… as long as he could 'feel good'." Sakuno finished.

"I didn't…" Fuji started only to catch Sakuno's look as she whirled to face him and tell him to stop lying. She had the look of the winner on her face as her smile told him to play along or risk getting his secret exposed. He almost refused… but when he looked back to Ryoma's trusting face… he felt speechless, as he wanted to defend himself yet protect the one he loved.

"Dad… just please stop!" Miyuki said pushing her mother in the direction of the kitchen to get her out of the way. "Don't lie… no more lies… don't tell him anymore lies!"

"I…" Fuji started only to look away and swallow the words back… he couldn't say… not with Ryoma's eyes boring into his own at the moment.

"He can't say because it's all true…" Ryoga laughed out placing a hand on Fuji's shoulder possessively. "How does it feel Otoutou… to know I slept and am still sleeping with your man?" Ryoga taunted out watching Ryoma's hand curl into an angry fist.

"Echizen-sensei…" Miyuki said grabbing onto Ryoma's hand and attention again with a serious face. "Your father made my father promise to let you go years ago… Papa let you go for your family's sake, not because he didn't love you."

"Don't Miyuki…" Fuji cried out stepping forward only to be yanked back by Ryoga

"Continue…" Ryoma said calmly as his eyes drifted to Syuusuke's crestfallen one.

"The night of the reception for my parents… you attended and talked to my father but my mother made sure your father was in the shadows as well in father's view to remind him of the promise he made. My father couldn't tell you that he still truly loved you and wanted to be with-"

"You die!"

Ryoma's eyes widened as he watched Miyuki fall towards him with a pained expression and he looked up in time to see a crazed-looking Sakuno bringing down the kitchen knife through Miyuki's back in happiness.

"I'll never let your father go!" Sakuno laughed out as she watched blood pour from her daughter's back in happiness…

"MIYUKI!" Ryoma and Fuji cried out at the same time.

* * *

A/N: Yup... ditched everyone at a eye-popping moment again but everything's drawing to a nice little close soon so please review! :)

* * *


	11. Healing Wounds

A/N: It feels as if I haven't updated this fic in a while so here's a new chapter. The curtains are closing… in the next chapter or so sit tight for the conclusion.

* * *

irishKaoru- Well it was quite hard to leave everyone hanging like that but it had to be done to prepare for the next chapter D:

seyami-chan- Oh she'll be getting there but Ryoga still has a meaning to his untimely appearance so look for that in this chapter.

Playgirl Eugene- LOL well I twisted her cute clumsy personality to suite my tastes in this story. Just exploring another identity that could exist in that girl, I don't find her tennis qualified either… that's why when there's fanfics of her being a tennis prodigy, it's hard for me to imagine. XP

Despite the evil I put in her, my original intention has always been to keep all the characters in character as much as possible.

Ryoga has his own intentions so don't fret about it yet. You get to see different sides of all the characters in each of my stories without loosing too much of their original personality so I hope you and everyone else can enjoy them in whichever personality I twist them too.

Serene will definitely show up again because I feel as if I haven't made a closure on her character yet although everyone else is drawing to a close with their stories.

animeo- XD I t wasn't the best thing to read on your birthday but I do hope you enjoyed it…despite the tragedy at the end XP

MARYLOVER- She's becoming weak here despite her strong build in the beginning. This is just a means to show that she's starting to lose reason, and whatever else she has left to the insanity of wanting Ryoma. She's a bit off the cliff at the moment but I haven't said this was the end for her yet. She becoming unstable at the moment and her mood swings are becoming apparent in front of everyone.

Syuusuke is at the moment, in one of the lowest part in his life and even I felt the need to smack some sense in him as I was writing but his overall scattered feelings were all so clear at his daughter's fall. His weakness is so obvious in this story and I feel as if he does little else in this story but *sigh* It's another take to his personality I wanted to explore. The overload of the chapter is exactly what you should be feeling because that's what I set it up to be. Just when you think the stories closing, I throw Ryoga in to cause a bit of ruckus, our little heroine finds the strength to stand against her crazed mother and takes the fall, Ryoma gets to see the Sakuno he never thought existed, and Syuusuke is confused of his feelings, situation, and the whole all together while Sakuno showcases how her obsession has affected her mentally. The overload will subside a bit in this chapter so everything will be clearer.

CloudyMoonshine- Thank you for reviewing and please do look forward to my next updates. Although it may take longer to update, I will definitely update because I'm too stubborn to let my stories fall into the discontinued state XD

fan girl 666- I live to scare everyone into reading the next chapter XD

TeNsHi No ToIkI- I haven't killed her yet, she's just injured at the moment. Sakuno will get her punishment to come. Ryoga and Ryoma's problem will be coming up in this chapter again.

XxSisz4evaxx- Your comment caught me and reminded me that I better do a minor recap of the timeline in such so I'll do that before I begin this chapter :D

Yuujirou- I can almost bet that you aren't the only one who is feeling like that at the moment. The crazy woman has got to go but she makes good drama doesn't she? :)

munkyaround- Everything's been quite harsh on all the characters right now if you understand all their views but Ryoga/Ryoma relationship will be further explored in this chapter and do enjoy the fireworks of it :)

Melodious Flurry- I like doing AU on Thrill pair because there's so many ways you can twist and stretch their personalities to match the storyline. :) Thank you for reading and reviewing.

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. [AU]

* * *

**Chapter XI: Healing Wounds**

_**Tokyo, Japan**_

_**Winter**_

_**January 2nd**__**h**_

Recap-

Ryoma's eyes widened as he watched Miyuki fall towards him with a pained expression and he looked up in time to see a crazed-looking Sakuno bringing down the kitchen knife through Miyuki's back in happiness.

"I'll never let your father go!" Sakuno laughed out as she watched blood pour from her daughter's back in happiness…

"MIYUKI!" Ryoma and Fuji cried out at the same time.

xXx

**Hospital**

Fuji shakily held the cup of coffee that Ryoma placed in his hands as he leaned against Ryoma to draw strength from him. He was pathetic… he had frozen instead of preventing his daughter from getting hurt… he was a horrible father.

"Syuusuke…" Ryoma uttered making Fuji look at him briefly. "Are you feeling a bit better now?"

"Un…" Fuji uttered although his eyes never left his daughter's unconscious face lying on the hospital bed.

"She'll be okay, you heard the doctor, the cut didn't go too deep so her spinal cord is okay."

"But the scar and memory…" Fuji said shutting his eyes in frustration. " I can't ever take that from her!"

"No you can't.." Ryoma agreed. "But we have to be strong right?"

Fuji merely nodded.

Sakuno had ran from the apartment after doing the damage and the police still haven't caught her while Ryoga had been taken to the police station to be held until Fuji decides to press charges or not against his offender. He had been thankful that Ryoma called the police and took care of mostly everything while he froze like an idiot in fear over everything. Even now, the memory of his daughter telling Ryoma the truth was on his mind as he wondered how Ryoma was feeling next to him now as they watched Miyuki… who was suppose to be awake by the end of the night.

A slight knock at the door made Ryoma and Syuusuke jerk out of their own thoughts as the two people entered the room.

"Okaa-san… Otou-san…" Ryoma greeted rather flatly.

Fuji swallowed as he stood to bow to Ryoma's parents as well… he hadn't seen then since his wedding reception. He knew Ryoma had already initiated a talk to his parents over the phone since he had overheard Ryoma angrily yelling into the phone an hour ago.

"I'm sorry about your daughter Fuji…" Rinko said breaking the silence as she looked towards the bed. "I think it's time we got all this straightened out and lead me into the light of the situation."

"Aa…" Fuji said pulling two chairs out to offer them to Ryoma's parents.

All four sat staring at each other for the longest time before the uneasiness forced Nanjiroh to speak.

"I suppose I should be sorry…" He said adverting his eyes a bit from Fuji. " I just couldn't accept my son… my son being with a man."

"What exactly did you make Syuusuke promise to you?" Ryoma demanded angrily.

"I'd also like to know what you didn't discuss with me as well," Rinko voiced from beside her husband.

"I… we… we made a deal." Nanjiroh reluctantly said looking at his wife's stern expression to his son's angry one. "I pleaded with him to let Ryoma go for the sake of Ryoma's future happiness."

"But my happiness IS with him!" Ryoma snapped out before Fuji's hand touched his lightly. He turned to see Fuji's look and swallowed back other hurtful words. Wrapping an arm around Syuusuke he decided not to say more.

"I believe you owe your son an apology… after I thought we already decided to let Ryoma live his life too… how could you Nanjiroh?" Rinko said calmly.

"I just…I thought about us never having grandkids and panicked… I…I'm sorry." Nanjiroh said with a sigh.

"Why don't we leave this talk for another time since this is a difficult time…" Fuji suggested as the tension seem to rise more.

"Of course…" Rinko said with a small smile. "I'm truly sorry you honored such a selfish request from my husband Fuji-san… I… as his wife and Ryoma's mother-"

"Have no need to apologize to me… it's all right… I acted without Ryoma's consent as well so I believe the victim in all this is Ryoma…."

"Damn right I am!" Ryoma said with slightly angered yet sad eyes. "Everyone seemed to be keeping something from me for over fifteen years!"

"But the past has a way of coming back if you bury it right?" Rinko said reaching over to place a hand over Ryoma.s lovingly.

"Aa… and I'm glad it did… or else… I may have never been truly happy.." Ryoma said glancing at Fuji who smiled encouragingly towards him.

"Before we drop the whole subject for another time… may I ask the both of you one more question?" Ryoma asked his parents as he gripped Fuji's hand tightly as if to draw strength.

"What is it dear?"

"You two… by chance aren't lying about the fact that I'm an only child right?" Ryoma asked searching his parents lost faces.

"You are our only son." Nanjiroh said confidently. " Why… how would you even think you weren't?"

"Then can you both tell me why I met a Ryoga who looks like me and swears he's my older brother?"

"Ryoga?!" Rinko gasped out as she turned her head to look at Nanjiroh who looked as stunned as Rinko looked.

Both Fuji and Ryoma could tell that who ever this Ryoga was, Ryoma's parents definitely knew him.

"He…how?" Nanjiroh finally said after a pause.

"How did you meet him dear?" Rinko asked casting a quick look to her husband.

"He was the one harassing Fuji and is the one who the police have in custody at the moment." Ryoma stated looking at his parents' expression with a frown. "You two…. Who is he?"

"He-" both started only look at each other for a long time before a frown graced Rinko's lips as she turned away from her husband.

"One after another, you continue to plague my life with problems Nanjiroh…"

"Rinko-chan… I-"

Rinko merely shook her head and looked back at Fuji and Ryoma almost apologetically. "We- we have to go confirm this person's identity first before we explain…. I… we… we'll explain tomorrow okay Ryoma?"

Ryoma merely nodded as he slid a hand over Fuji's.

"Then-" Nanjiroh said standing.

"We're going to go ahead and hopefully your daughter will be awake when we visit tomorrow." Rinko finished with the best smile she could muster.

"I hope so too…" Fuji uttered as his eyes drifted back to his daughter's face. The color had returned to her face over an hour ago but until she was conscious he was going to worry.

It seemed Ryoma understood his thoughts as he ushered his parents out of the room. Walking them down the hall silently, he didn't say anything to them about any of the incidents and merely nodded as his parents said their goodbyes to him. He really didn't feel like speaking to his parents at the moment after all the things he had found out. He wasn't going to be surprised after all the things he had found out already… for all he knew the same man assaulting Fuji was of the same blood as he was.

Pushing all other thoughts from his mind as he neared the door leading back to Miyuki's room, he focused on being here for Fuji. Walking silently into the room, he placed a hand on Fuji's shoulder just to remind Fuji that he wasn't alone in this ordeal.

"Thank you…" Fuji whispered between their deep silence as Fuji shifted his cheek to rub gently against Ryoma's hand. " I don't know what I would do without you…"

Ryoma didn't say anything as he took a seat next to Fuji and brushed a soft kiss against Fuji's cheek. He conveyed his strength through his actions as his eyes shifted back to Miyuki's peaceful face.

"Do you think she really will get up?" Fuji asked turning his head slightly to look at Ryoma.

"She will," Ryoma said with a small smile. " But I want to know Syuusuke… is there anything I should know about now?"

Fuji shook his head. "No…. that's all of it…"

Ryoma spent a minutes searching Fuji's face before he closed his eyes and nodded. "Okay… but…"

"We'll never be the same again… I know," Fuji said looking away from Ryoma slightly now. "But I'm thankful for everything you've done for Miyuki and-"

"You talk as if I was leaving you!" Ryoma said drawing Fuji deeper into his arms. "Why is that?"

"Don't joke with me Ryoma… after all this… no one would stay with me… I'm such a weak man…I-"

"Tried to protect too many while sacrificing yourself…" Ryoma said with a small smile. " Stop it Syuusuke… I won't leave you."

"Why? There's no reason for you to-"

"I love you…. despite everything, I'm stupidly in love with you…" Ryoma said holding Fuji close as he shut his eyes in hope that the tears he was suppressing wouldn't spill. "I can't leave you even if I wanted to… because I've come to terms that we can't face this life unless we can face each other."

"I shouldn't have returned…" Fuji whispered pressing his face into the crook of Ryoma's neck.

"If you didn't then you would still be carrying the regret and I would still be caged in the nightmare…"

Fuji sighed as he backed out of Ryoma's hold and pressed a gentle kiss to Ryoma's lips. It was the pain in his chest that told him how much he needed this man and it was Ryoma's fierce response that made him understand that Ryoma was and always had been here waiting for him as he had for Ryoma.

They both knew that they had to heal, they both knew that it wasn't the same pure love they had fifteen years ago but despite all that, it was still love.

xXx

Miyuki forced her heavy eyelids open as light entered the darkness that she had been floating in. Somewhere in her mind she had thought she heard her father and Echizen-san calling… yet they seemed so far… Her eyes hurt…. Her body ached…especially her back… and- Miyuki let out a soft groan as she tried to shift her heavy body only to receive a sharp pain through her spine. "Miyuki?" Miyuki forced her eyes open once more despite the pain and hazily; she made out her father and Echizen-san's face. "Are you feeling okay honey?" Fuji asked brushing a hand through her hair slightly. "Do you want anything?"

Miyuki slightly shook her head as she opened her mouth to see if her voice would work. "I'm-fine…" She managed to croak out tiredly.

"Why don't you rest…" Ryoma added tucking her blanket around her. " Your father and I should-"

"I'm sorry dad…. I hope you won't be mad that I told-"

"If he is I'll kill him." Ryoma promised, glancing for a moment at Fuji. "I had more than every right to know the truth, you did nothing wrong Miyuki."

"Daddy's not mad at you," Fuji confirmed with a small smile. " But you should get some sleep… you look so tired…"

"Both of you will be here when I wake up?" Miyuki whispered out.

"We will…" Ryoma promised as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Then.. mom-"

"Your mother and I are going to get properly divorce dear…. we won't use you anymore… we won't." Fuji said tightening his grip on his daughter's hand.

"Thank god…" Miyuki muttered as she shut her eyes and a smile graced her lips. "I don't want that anymore."

Both Ryoma ad Fuji watched as Miyuki slowly fell back into her peaceful sleep before the retreated back to their corner to cuddle. Tonight, it was just the three of them and each drew strength from the other as they looked forward to the days to come.

xXx

**Hospital **

**The next day**

Miyuki let out a weak laugh as Ryoma tossed the applesauce into the trashcan in horror at the blandness.

"I can't believe they expect you to eat this!" Ryoma grumbled out as he opened the other plate to see if anything was editable.

"It's fine…" Miyuki laughed out to Ryoma as he frowned at the rest of "breakfast" as the nurse called it.

"Ryoma… why don't you come eat with me?" Fuji suggested gesturing to the seat next to him.

"Yadda… you're eating that wasabi stuff!" Ryoma said with a frown. " I think I'll just go-"

"Here you go Seishounen." Nanjiroh said dropping a bento into his son's hands as Rinko trailed in with a smile and two more bentos for Fuji and Miyuki.

"Okaa-san… Oyaji…" Ryoma uttered as he sat down next to Fuji and opened the bento. To his satisfaction, it was filled with things he liked.

"Good morning." Rinko said to Miyuki as she set the bento in front of the girl.

"Morning," Miyuki said with a polite smile. This was her first time meeting her teacher's parents and she could feel the tension between the other occupants of the room. She supposed this was how her father felt upon meeting Echizen-san's parents.

"No need to be shy dear… if things are traveling the way I believe they are, you'll be my granddaughter soon and probably the only one at that!" Rinko chuckled out taking a seat next to Miyuki as Nanjiroh grabbed the seat next to Ryoma and Fuji.

"We went to the police station yesterday." Rinko said with a sigh. "We confirmed the person as the one who we thought it was."

"Tell me he's not who I think he is." Ryoma said looking up from the bento with a dark expression.

"He's your half-brother Seishounen…"Nanjiroh said looking at his son. "It seems all my mistakes have decided to haunt me all at the same time."

"Mistakes?" Ryoma asked looking at his dad to mom. " What mistake is this? Half you say?"

"Your father was fooling around during the time we were engaged Ryoma…. She came to demand that your father marry her when she found out she was pregnant but your father chose me and she disappeared. We- we thought that would be the end of it…."

"Till now," Ryoma said with a deep frown. " Why didn't you guys say anything?"

"We didn't think it would cme back like this." Nanjiroh confessed. "We didn't expect him to be so bitter against you whom he never met or me."

"It seemed his mother has told him that we," Rinko said indicating herself and Ryoma, "had taken his father from his mother and him."

"But that's a lie!"

"But that was what he believed…. We straightened everything out and he called his mother last night… she told him the truth…." Rinko said with a smile. "We hope that Ryoga and you can start anew again once we go get him this afternoon."

"Can it wait?" Ryoma asked looking at his mother. " I- I don't think I can just adjust right away."

"It can," Rinko said standing to go press a kiss against her son's forehead. "I've already gave your father a piece of my mind about all of his deceptions so I hope that all of you can forgive him as I have." Although her words stated that, her eyes were clearly on Fuji who sat beside her son.

"There's no need to ask for forgiveness… I just never wanted to take your son away from the both of you…" Fuji admitted. " I hope that you both will forgive me for coming between and –"

"My son chose you…. and as his parents we should accept his decision and happiness…. Initially I'll admit I was shocked at his orientation but I never was truly against it when I say how sincere you were." Rinko said with a warm smile as she reached across the table to encase Fuji's hand in hers. "I hope that you'll only continue to make him happier…"

"Rinko-chan… we have to get going…" Nanjiroh said checking his watch, " it's time to go pick up Ryoga."

"Then we have to get going… I want to treat him as my own son as well… because he has my son and husband's face." Rinko said with a slight chuckle. "Hopefully he'll open up a bit to me as my own son does."

"Mom!" Ryoma said with a frown.

"We'll be going," Rinko said as she went back to Miyuki's side to press a small kiss to her forehead and wish for her wellness.

"Fuji…"

Fuji glanced up and noted that Nanjiroh had stopped in front of him.

"Yes?"

"Thank you… for honoring my selfish wish till now…." Nanjiroh said bowing a bit to Fuji.

Fuji was speechless as he watched the elder straighten and take his wife's hand as they left the room. To get their approval, Ryoma's love and his freedom seemed so much like a dream last year but now… now everything was falling into place and-

Fuji felt Ryoma's finger trace a lone tear away from his eyes and he looked at Ryoma who smiled at him. He couldn't help but return the smile as he snuck a peek at Miyuki who had her own apparent smile on her lips.

"Is this enough?" Ryoma asked pressing a kiss to Fuji's forehead.

"No... It'll never be enough if it's you.." Fuji said softly.

"Who did you talk to this morning?" Ryoma asked just remembering that Fuji had stepped out for quite a while on his cell phone.

"Sakuno's mother." Fuji said with a small smile. " I told her I wanted a divorce and suggested a psychiatrist that may be able to help Sakuno recover a bit."

'Has she been found?" Ryoma asked suddenly remembering about Sakuno.

"Not yet but they think they have a lead of where she may be." Fuji said with a smile. "You'll stay with Miyuki and me today?"

"Aa… I'm probably going to swing by my apartment and take a shower while you take care of your things but I'll be here with the both of you tonight." Ryoma said with a smile. "I'll bring Miyuki's report card too."

"Eh? Sensei!" Miyuki protested.

"I'm still your teacher." Ryoma reminded her gently as picked up his chopsticks and started digging into his food again.

xXx

**Ryoma's Apartment**

Ryoma frowned as he unlocked the door and stepped into his apartment to a weird stench.

"Karupin!" He called out as he removed his shoes and headed to his bedroom while stretching.

"Karu-"

Ryoma's eyes widened as he saw Sakuno sitting on his bed waiting for him.

"Sakuno…"

"Why… why don't you love me?" Sakuno asked standing slowly with hurt eyes. " I LOVED YOU!" She screamed out as she shakily brought the gun forward to point at Ryoma. " I really did…"

* * *

A/N: Just when you thought everything was over :D well do review and the next chapter will be up super fast! Next chapter is the last so review lots!!!


	12. Family

A/N: Well after the long angsty journey, we've arrived at the end and **it's time to put in all your last thoughts, rants and whatever else you need to get off your chest in a review**. Thank you so much to the ones that stuck through all the twists surprises and hopefully, if you already aren't, read more stories from me.

Today marks my 4th Anniversary on Fanfic!

I'm very proud to have come so far with 20+ stories and more than 10 completed stories here!

I'm happy to have done the themes I've done so far and explored. Each story I wrote came with a perspective that I wanted to share, a view I wanted to show and I feel I accomplished that with each story I've written.

I also want to throw in a quick thank you to the many reviewers that took the time to review for me. It was thanks to your reviews that motivated me to continue posting my stories and hopefully you'll all continue to support me.

My Anniversary this year will not go unmarked without just a huge mass update, but a WHOLE new list of Thrill I wish to bring to all of you.

On my Profile, you'll be able to vote for two stories to join the regular line-up of releases. Like the first time I did this, the first chapter of all the stories are released for the pleasure of your viewing and reading so do take it to account along with the summary when you vote for your favorite two. If you don't have a fanfic account, you may vote via review on the stories of your choice and let me warn you, I'm only tallying people who don't have account via review so if you do have a account on fanfic and vote through review, I won't count it because I will ASSUME you've voted on my profile already.

So Please, Read, Review and vote on 'One Step At A Time', 'Frozen', 'Black Wings' or 'More Than Meets The Eyes'.

Other than that, read the mass release of stories, vote for your favorite two new stories and review for me. :D

* * *

**The Moon Represents My Heart**

**Rated**: M

**Summary**: Just when Ryoma thought he was through with the pain, Fuji comes waltzing back into his life like a winter storm. [AU]

* * *

**Chapter XII: Happiness From The Heart**

**Recap-**

**_Ryoma's Apartment_**

Ryoma frowned as he unlocked the door and stepped into his apartment to a weird stench.

"Karupin!" He called out as he removed his shoes and headed to his bedroom while stretching.

"Karu-"

Ryoma's eyes widened as he saw Sakuno sitting on his bed waiting for him.

"Sakuno…"

"Why… why don't you love me?" Sakuno asked standing slowly with hurt eyes. " I LOVED YOU!" She screamed out as she shakily brought the gun forward to point at Ryoma. " I really did…"

xXx

"Put the gun down Sakuno…" Ryoma coaxed as he realized immediately that she was mentally unstable at this point and any quick movement would make her snap from her thin line of insanity and sanity.

"You should've loved me!" Sakuno said a bit sadly. "You and I were meant to be!"

"Just calm down… put the gun down and we can talk…"

"NO! we don't need to talk! Not now! Not ever! We just need to die together now… don't you see… if we go together then no one can separate us…" Sakuno said as she smiled softly towards the end. " We'll be together forever…"

"Sakuno…. Think about our families…"

"They don't understand us! They don't know how much I love you! They all think I'm crazy… but you don't… right?" Sakuno said looking at Ryoma while putting the gun down a bit.

"Of course you aren't," Ryoma said as softly as he could as he inch hi s way to the counter where he saw a couple of tennis balls…. If he could somehow get the gun… they'd both be okay…

"Then you'll die with me?" Sakuno asked re-pointing the gun at Ryoma in happiness now.

"What makes you so sure we'll be together in death?" Ryoma asked gripping the tennis ball hard while praying to nameless gods to give him strength or else he'd really die with the psycho.

"I know… because we love each other so much, they wouldn't dare separate us… Syuusuke's wrong… you love me… you've always loved me!" Sakuno said with a smile.

Ryoma didn't answer as he tossed with all his might aiming at her right hand. To his relief it surprised her and made her drop the gun.

He didn't take a chance as he dived for the gun while ignoring the pain of wrestling with her to get the gun. She obviously knew he had more strength then she did since she started to attack his hair full force while screeching about being together. He ignored the wetness growing on his back from whatever was on the floor and concentrated on getting the gun. Finally after being able to pull away and feeling as if he'd lost all his hair, he finally noticed that she was now furious that he had not wanted to die with her.

"It's over Sakuno… you need some help…" Ryoma gasped out as he placed the gun on the table by the door as she slowly rose with slightly widened eyes.

"You hurt me Ryoma-kun…"

"You need help Sakuno…. "Ryoma said watching her rise and seeing the stain on her dress she wore. It seemed whatever was on him; she had rolled on as well….

"This…." Ryoma said finally recognizing the faint smell of gasoline.

"You're mine…." Sakuno said with a frown. "I don't care what anyone or you say!"

Ryoma clenched his fist as he realized she blocked the door AND held a lighter.

"So if you won't go the easy way with me… we'll go this way."

xXx

Fuji climbed out of his car as he reached Ryoma's apartment. He had considered waiting patiently at the hospital for Ryoma but he had decided against that earlier and decided to pick Ryoma up himself. It would give them some time alone… some time they needed to settle everything. That and the fact that Sakuno hadn't been found were worrying him. She was crazy but she wouldn't stop what she was doing for their sake.

'She never was one to let go….' Fuji thought with a sigh as he locked his car and looked up.

"Fuji,"

"Tezuka," Fuji greeted recognizing his friend who had just pulled up beside him. "What brings you here?"

"A lot of things I've been hearing… but mostly to see how he's doing." Tezuka answered. "I've yet to stop by the hospital to see your daughter."

"Aa… we've been through hell if I say so myself." Fuji said with a slight smile. " Since you're here, why don't we go talk about it in Ryoma's apartment."

"Let's." Tezuka merely said as he led the way up to Ryoma's apartment.

xXx

Elsewhere"You're free to go," the policeman said to Ryoga as he was led out.

He didn't answer as he stepped out only to see Rinko and Nanjiroh waiting for him.

"What do you two want?" he questioned angrily.

"We were the ones who bailed you out." Rinko said calmly. "We should talk."

"I have nothing to say to you nor that backstabbing father I have!" Ryoga retorted.

"You need to know the story before you form an opinion young man!" Rinko said firmly as she stood in anger not even caring that she was nearly a head shorter than the man she was facing.

"Oh I know the story just fine!" Ryoga said bitterly.

"But do you know OUR side?" Rinko demanded watching the boy glare at her and returned it with her own. "I want you to understand that what you did to my son upset me but the blame of your existence was not just your mother or your father's fault. "

"What the hell then?" Ryoga said angrily to the man who haven't spoke once yet. "What's the reason for me?"

"Ryoga… your mother didn't want anything to do with me after I chose Rinko." Nanjiroh finally said resting a hand on Ryoga's lightly. "She didn't want me to know that you even existed! I never knew of you!"

"Lies! I watched as she mailed letters everyday to you and not ONCE did you respond!" Ryoga accused pointedly.

"I never received one!" Nanjiroh defended. "Your mother never mailed me anything!"

"Even still!" Ryoga said crossly. "Why did you mess with my mother if you never wanted me! If you never wanted her!"

Silence befell all three of them as an angered son stared at a speechless dad. Slowly Nanjiroh broke eye contact with Ryoga and looked at Rinko who was tight-lipped about everything being discussed.

"Truth is… I'm like every other man as well Ryoga." Nanjiroh said breaking the silence. "I didn't refuse a willing woman and I regret that I did such a thing when I was already engaged to Rinko… but she was a country away and a lonely man will take what he can right?"

Ryoga didn't reply. He was softening to their excuses and he didn't like it. Every since he could remember, it was endless nights of his mother cursing his looks, his picture less father and everything that reminded her of the man. He grew up hating the mention of the selfish man who left his mother to crazy loneliness, hating the man whom he didn't know for taking a coward's way out… but now…. All that he thought, all that he thought was true wasn't. It was as if someone lifted millions of hatred pounds off his shoulder only to replace it with the reality of what he did to his younger brother.

Ryoga swallowed hard as he stared at his hand unmoving… he didn't know what to believe…

"Ryoga… your mother was a mother to want…. But she wasn't a woman to love." Nanjiroh said truthfully. "but I swear to you Ryoga, if I had known you existed, I'd have done anything in my power to provide and know you."

Ryoga looked up,, unsure if he should believe the ma sitting next to him.

"He's a annoying and a stupid man sometimes," Rinko said looking fondly at her husband, "but he's always been a devoted husband and a dear father. We'd like it a lot if you'd come home with us and try t o get along."

Ryoga looked at both adults who seemed quite sincere… he didn't think anymore, he nodded. Perhaps this was where he should've been all along.

xXx

Ryoma's apartment"You're crazy!" Ryoma said in disbelief at the woman standing in front of him. It was no wonder Fuji had tried to kill himself while being married to her.  
"I even bought the expensive lighters… the ones that light longer without holding the lighter down…so we can make sure we go together." Sakuno said bending to the floor with the lighter. Slowly she set it and placed it on the gas. Ryoma in a panic kicked her hand hard forgetting that she was a woman for a moment; yet it was too late… the fire roared alive next to Sakuno as she smiled happily at the flames that traveled above the gas brightly. Ryoma on the other hand was doing his best to avoid the flames by removing his gasoline soaked shirt and searching for Karupin… who happened to WANT to appear after all his calling minutes ago. Grabbing his cat, his only thought was survival as he headed full speed towards the door to get out."NOOOOO!" Sakuno screamed frantically grabbing Ryoma's leg and pulling hard till his leg dragged. She wasn't about to give up on the thought of dying with him and Ryoma was scared as the fire grew and the smoke rose… he was going to die… he was going to die….

xXx

"FIRE!!" The residents screamed evacuating as Fuji and Tezuka walked closer to the apartment. They both didn't even pause to wonder why a fire started as they ran towards Ryoma's apartment, both concerned about Ryoma.

"Oi! You're running towards the fire!" A man yelled out to Tezuka and Fuji as they sprinted past him.

It did nothing but speed them faster towards their destination. If it has started from this way then for sure Ryoma would've been one of the first ones hit!

'Ryoma… don't you dare leave me…' Fuji thought with fear as he climbed the stairs two at a time with Tezuka right behind him. He panicked when he saw the amount of smoke pouring out of his room and didn't think twice as he tried the door. Thankfully, it was unlocked and both Tezuka and he were surprised to see Ryoma trying to breathe while holding Karupin towards safety and trying to pry off another person on him.

"Ryoma!" Fuji called to him as he saw the coughing man struggling.

"Isn't that you're wife?" Tezuka asked getting a better look at the person who clung to Ryoma as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

Fuji noted that it was and did the only thing he could think of in order to save Ryoma who had inhaled way too much smoke already. He kicked her off viciously and dragged a shirtless Ryoma to Tezuka whom he instructed to get Ryoma and Karupin out. As Tezuka started to take Ryoma away Sakuno wailed out a No and attacked Fuji furiously causing him to trip and hit a bookshelf crushing them both underneath the heavy shelf.

"You bastard! I won't allow you to take hi again! I won't!!!" Sakuno sobbed out as she jerked furiously on Fuji's hair not caring that the flames were catching onto the fallen books and traveling to the shelf they were both currently under.

"Fuji!" Tezuka called out noticing that he wasn't following.

"I'll be right out! Just get him out!" Fuji yelled as he tried to grit the pain of his hair ripping out.

Angered, pushed her roughly off of him and used her as a lever to get out of the bookshelf. Dragging himself out, he noted she held on tightly to him causing him to drag her halfway out of the bookshelf as well only to get stuck where her dress was caught on one side.

"I won't let you take him! He's mine!" Sakuno screamed at him.

Disgusted, Fuji yanked himself away from her and crawled towards the door breathing hard as he watched the flames engulf the bookshelf and catch onto her dress that had been soaked in gasoline from earlier. She screamed horribly but Fuji merely watched her desperate look in anger that she was this crazy to want to kill Ryoma.

"Take your obsession and hatred to hell." Fuji uttered as he left and staggered his way out of the building… there was no way after all of these years was he going to fail Ryoma again… he couldn't…

Yet the darkness came anyways and he couldn't remember anything else….

xXx

Tezuka pulled Fuji from the fire with the help of a firefighter as Ryoma ran over.

"How is he?" Ryoma asked worriedly looking at Fuji.

"Just a bit too much smoke…" Tezuka said looking at Fuji.

"Sakuno?"

"I think, she's where she needs to be." Tezuka said quietly viewing the claw marks on Fuji's neck and arms.

xXx

**Sakuno's Funeral**

Ryoma looked at her gravestone in silence as he replayed everything in his head. Everything had started from her and now that the problem was gone… he was feeling unsure if he could continue on.

He was formally introduced to his brother who apologized properly to both Fuji and him; his father gradually came to accept Fuji and Miyuki was better to the point where she could walk a bit without feel the pain too much now.

"Ryoma?"

He turned and smiled as his mother approached him.

"Yes mom?" Ryoma asked accepting a hug from his mother.

"Are you okay sweetie?" Rinko asked looking at Ryoma's expression.

"I am now… it's finally all over right?" Ryoma asked.

"It should be." Rinko confirmed with a small smile. " But I think there's one more thing you need to put a rest to."

"What is that?" Ryoma asked glancing at his mother. She ushered her hand to the side and Ryoma caught sight of Serene who was conversing with Fuji. Taking the hit, he walked over to his ex-fiancée and greeted her.

"Serene…"

"Ryoma." Serene greeted with a small smile as she reached to hug him. "How are you?"

"Feeling better… and you?" Ryoma asked searching her eyes.

"I'm doing better now thank you." Serene said with a nod. "I'm starting to move on."

"I'm glad to hear that… did you find someone…"

"I did… he had always been right in front of me while I was trying to reach for the impossible as well." Serene said with a small laugh.

"You don't mean Mikage do you?" Ryoma asked with a small grimace at the thought of the man who did everything in his power to gain Serene's attention.

"Oh god no!" Serene laughed at the thought. "I'm going out with Nakagawa."

"But I thought he was just you kouhai!"

"And we both thought we'd get together…" Serene reminded him with a small smile. "Times change and if it's one thing I learned, I can say the past will never be at peace until you face it."

"True…" Ryoma said with a smile now.

"Be happy Ryoma," Serene said with a smile at Fuji and Ryoma. "Or else I'll never forgive you."

"I am… and thank you, for being there for me."

Serene nodded and moved on to ay her goodbye to Nanjiroh and Rinko while Fuji wrapped an arm around Ryoma's waist and asked if he was ready to go.

"I am." Ryoma said as they walked to where Miyuki was sitting and waiting for them. Ryoma knew that as they walked away from the graveyard, they were finally going to move and their past would finally be at rest. It was the beginning to their healing and soon, maybe the scars and wounds they had acquired would only be a memory.

* * *

A/N: So that ends this story !

YAY!

Please do put in your last thoughts and comments since it's the end and hopefully you'll be reading more from me :)


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